


Breaking Orenwen

by PoeticAnt44



Category: Elder Scrolls, Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Aldmeri Dominion, Attempt at Humor, Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Crazy Ex-Lover, Daedra Worship (Elder Scrolls), Daedric Princes (Elder Scrolls), Dragons, Dream Sex, Dremora (Elder Scrolls), Elder Scrolls Lore, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Escape, Explicit Language, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Fanart, Grief/Mourning, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Inspired by Skyrim, Masturbation, Morthal (Elder Scrolls), Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining, Prison, Prostitution, Sexual Content, Sexual Fantasy, Side Quests, Slow Burn, Thalmor, Thalmor Embassy (Elder Scrolls), Vampires, mentions of torture, prisoner
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-25
Updated: 2020-07-10
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:08:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 78,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23832874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PoeticAnt44/pseuds/PoeticAnt44
Summary: Kaidan, after being saved by the Dragonborn from prison, finds himself alone when she leaves him in the middle of the night for him attempting to push her into something more than she wanted.  Deciding to push forward the rest of his mission alone, he once again gets captured by the Thalmor who had been hunting him for months after his escape.  He was easily captured by trickery thanks to a female Thalmor, Orenwen, who found herself strangely feeling guilty over the betrayal.  She was new to the Thalmor and they never prepared her for this.  After events are set in motion, thanks to a dragon, Kaidan is saved once more but by the last person he expected to save him.  After she saves Kaidan, she is gravely injured, and Kaidan is hard-pressed to leave her to her fate.  While he saves her, she is still the enemy and becomes his prisoner in return.  As Orenwen is forced to travel with Kaidan, they both find themselves tolerating each other, though it isn't easy.  As tensions lessen, they both find themselves to get along relatively well, sharing similar humor and snarky comebacks.  Perhaps, eventually, they will become more than friends if they could just get past their differences.Fan Art Chapter 3
Relationships: Female Dovahkiin | Dragonborn/Kaidan, Kaidan (Elder Scrolls)/Original Character(s), Kaidan (Elder Scrolls)/Original Female Character(s), Kaidan (Elder Scrolls)/Original Thalmor Character
Comments: 130
Kudos: 71





	1. How to Piss of a Dovahkiin

**Author's Note:**

> I have written about Kaidan before, but I have been wanting to do an enemy to friends to lovers story with a Thalmor Justiciar. Orenwen is an OC and not part of the Skyrim universe. There will be very little of the Dragonborn in this. This story, while there is action, is more geared towards dialogue and quite a bit of banter between the two characters (only after they realize they aren't going to kill each other). I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think, even if you find it boring. It helps to guide me in the direction I need to go to in my writing. 
> 
> And of course, I will be adding some art soon.
> 
> ** The title of the story isn't literal ;)
> 
> A big thank you to Vokunkendov for helping me sludge through this and being a second pair of eyes!! <3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan ticks off the Dragonborn and she flees, leaving him vulnerable to the Thalmor who have been tracking him.

He stood atop Northwind Summit looking out at the snowy landscape and steaming waters below, his red irises narrowed as they focused in the distance. It was such a contrast from each other yet beautiful in its stark harshness. The snowy terrain reached out to the warmer waters of the barren Eastmarch as if two opposing forces were trying to embrace. Even Windhelm in the distance didn't look so cold and foreboding with its crumbling stone walls, no one caring enough to restore the city to its former glory.

A small smile played on Kaidan's lips, grateful to the Dragonborn for bringing him there for some answers to his past as he breathed deeply in the cold fresh air. _Finally, a clue and maybe find out who my mother was_ , he thought, knowing the dragon burial mound was somewhere near Windhelm. His long black hair had fallen out if its binding and whipped around his face from the strong winds.

The small Bosmer woman had found a dossier on the Akaviri when she infiltrated the Thalmor Embassy a week's past. The clues had led the duo to the border of Eastmarch Hold and the Rift, high up in the mountains. Northwind Summit was an old Akaviri mining camp.

When they came out through the mines to the craggy peak, finally reaching the summit, they were greeted with an ancient dragon sleeping atop a word wall. It seemed to be a dragon's favorite place to roost as if challenging all those who dare to read the foreign language carved into the old stone.

Minna already had quite a bit of experience killing dragons long before she met Kaidan. While he was quite knowledgeable with the bow and two-handed blade, she taught him a few tricks of her own that were common with the Bosmer people. It was why Wood Elves were such proficient hunters, especially in the way of stealth. While she was an excellent marksman, he frequently worried about her lack of armor, scantily clad in old and worn leather. She would argue she needed the freedom of movement, not to be hindered by unyielding materials.

He never tired of watching her absorb the dragon soul upon death of the vile creature, its glowing tendrils almost caressing her beautiful and lithe body. Then her hand would graze delicately through the carved runes of the wall as she absorbed a new shout to add to her already growing repertoire of words. 

"Did you learn anything interesting, Minna?" Kaidan asked her.

The blonde Bosmer turned her braided head towards his voice, a smirk played on her lips. Her vivid green eyes almost glowed in delight. "Yes! I learned the second word to Aura Whisper!"

"What does that mean again?"

"LAAS YAH," she shouted, though the sound was almost as soft as a whisper. "It means you are glowing quite nicely. It means that it will aid in my hunt. It helps me see life where none can be seen."

Kaidan wasn't sure he understood all that, not knowing how one could see what was not seen. She was always filled with such riddles. He was smart, but not well-read, though he was trying to catch up. His life growing up was hard, training in weaponry, and how to survive was his primary education. Reading was at the bottom of the list in his learning as a child.

He watched Minna search through the old mining camp for any goods they could use for their travels. She wasn't just a proficient hunter, but a scavenger, rarely buying goods she needed. He could hear the elf huff in irritation that there was nothing decent to scavenge and walked over to stand next to Kaidan, who stood almost one and a half heads taller than she.

He looked down at her petite form. "Ready to go?"

"Yes. We must reach the base of the mountain and make camp before nightfall."

"We could just camp here if you're worried about animals."

She looked up at Kaidan in disappointing pity and shook her head, as a parent might look at a child when they did something they should not have. "Kai, look around you. What do you see?"

He looked around the camp and saw it had shelter, a great view to see enemies coming for miles, and the only way in or out was through the mine. Kaidan explained as much to the small elf.

"Two things are missing in your observations," she informed him, holding up two fingers, bending them as she ticked off her shortlist. "There is no food and no water, both essential to life, which we have none of, so we will leave and make camp below."

Not caring one way or the other, following her lead, he shrugged as they made their trek down the mountain through the mine once more. As long as he was by her side, he didn't care.

When he first met Minna, she saved him from the Thalmor, and he owed her his life, sticking it out with her until his life-debt was paid. Then they became good friends in the past several months. Now he found himself strangely falling in love with her. If anyone asked him why he was falling in love with her, he wouldn't be able to form it into coherent words. All he knew was how he felt, not the why of it.

Minna was a true Bosmer, which was alien to him, though he had met quite a few Wood Elves in his not so long life. She adhered to the Green Pact, which stipulated the Bosmeri could only consume meat-based products and were forbidden to harm any plant for their own betterment. Because of this, Bosmer were dependent on either stone or imported timber for construction purposes. The only reason their camp was warm with fire was that Kaidan had set it up. Before she saved his life, she slept in the trees and wrapped her body in fur to keep warm.

The small elf was also so exotic looking. Kaidan wouldn't call her beautiful, but more intriguing. Her eyes looked like the forest itself, pointed sharply upwards. Kaidan was not aware that some Wood Elves grew horns on their heads, which decorated Minna's head like small Elk antlers. As long as he had known her, he had this urge to reach out and touch them. It took all his will to stay his hand, confident she wouldn't appreciate the gesture.

She was sitting folded up on her bedroll wrapped in a fur to keep out the chill, watching the fire flames dance, him next to her. They had a small meal of roasted rabbit she had caught. Kaidan was missing vegetables, and whenever they came near a farm, he would buy some carrots or leaks to munch on. He wasn't sure how a being could consist solely of meat, but he wasn't one to judge.

"Thank you for this, Minna," Kaidan finally said in their silence. She wasn't a big talker, and most evenings were spent in quiet contemplation.

"For what?"

"For helping me find answers to my past. I know you are busy with the Dragonborn business, so you didn't have to go out of your way for me, but you chose to...so thank you."

She shrugged, "We are friends."

"Aye…" he replied, pleased by her response.

Minna shivered from the cold. She was always cold in Skyrim. It didn't help that she wore next to nothing because she didn't want her movements restricted, but she would wrap herself in fur whenever she wasn't fighting. It was never enough. Valenwood was so warm and Skyrim brutally cold. Minna may have to rethink her armor.

The evening was unusually cold for Last Seed, he realized as Kaidan watched Minna shiver. He wondered if he would dare put an arm about her for warmth. The longing to hold her and touch her was driving him nearly over the edge, the only thing stopping him was doubt. There was a reluctance on his part because Minna was so hard to read. 

Deciding to swallow his pride and those pesky nerves that settled in his stomach, Kaidan lifted an arm beckoning towards the elf, an invitation of sorts to help keep her warm. "May I…"

The Bosmer gave him a small smile and scooched over in his direction. He pulled her in close to him to warm her up. It was in part to help her, but he also wanted to gauge her reaction to him. He wrapped his own furs around them to share the body heat as she rested her head on the side of his chest, not intimately but simply nowhere else to put it, no longer shivering.

They sat closely together, which felt like an eternity for Kaidan. Throwing caution to the wind, he decided to make his intentions known, to let her know how he was feeling about her. He prayed to the Gods their friendship was strong enough to hold them together if she didn't want him.

With his other hand, he lifted her chin to face him. Her eyes had one of confusion, then clarity, knowing what he wanted from her. 

It had been so very long since she had been with a man, but they were easy to read in their wants and desires. For a moment, she wasn't sure if she wanted to accept him or not, but her decision was made quickly. No, there was no time for love, and she certainly didn't love Kaidan, not more than a friend. Maybe she could in another life, but not in this one.

He lowered his head as he pressed his lips to hers. It was tentative and unhurried, him testing the waters to sense her reaction. Kaidan could feel Minna responding to him at first and just as quickly pushed him away. She stood and looked down at his sitting form. "No. I have a job to do." Minna turned on her heels and went into her tent for the night, not bothering to explain.

Kaidan tried to push back his disappointment. He understood she had a job to do, but what's the point if one couldn't enjoy life once in a while. It couldn't all be doom and gloom and jobs. But realizing it was arrogant of him to think that was all it was. It was an honest excuse, but an excuse nonetheless. He recognized the fact that she didn't see him or want him in that way. She may not have lied, but that was only half of the truth.

He sat in front of the fire for another hour, thinking about what had transpired and how they would react in the morning, then headed finally to his own tent for sleep.

It was dawn when Kaidan slowly opened his eyes to the light of the morning. He stretched and yawned before getting up to relight the fire for breakfast before heading out once more. 

As soon as he stepped out of his tent, something was amiss. His groggy mind couldn't comprehend what it was precisely until he realized that Minna wasn't there. He would have thought she went to go hunt at first, but her tent was gone. She left the camp in the middle of the night as if she never was, all traces of her vanished—typical of the Bosmer. 

Kaidan just stood there dumbfounded, wondering why she left him behind, then he remembered the kiss. _Dammit! I knew I shouldn't have tried anything with her, but you just had to keep on pushing it, didn't you?_ Part of him was frustrated that she took a simple kiss and turned it into something so significant she could no longer travel with him. 

Looking on the ground, he saw it there. A small note held down by a rock so it wouldn't blow away on the log. Picking it up, he saw it was from Minna. The note was short and to the point, much like how she talked, with as few words as possible. 

_You are free. Do not follow me. M—_

He promised to protect her with his life, and she freed him of that obligation. Part of him wanted to disobey and find her, but he knew she would just resent him for it. He couldn't hide his deep disappointment, knowing he was going to miss her. Kaidan wanted to be there for her until the end, not just because he was falling for her. He wanted to because they were friends, and he was worried about her.

 _Damned, stubborn Bosmer_ , he growled in his head, crumpling up the note and tossing it.

Not knowing what else to do now that she was gone, he pulled out his map, spreading it out on the ground to look at where he needed to go exactly. The clues indicated the dragon burial mound was next to Windhelm several miles West of the cold city, and it would take about three days walking to get there. It didn't escape his notice that the Abandoned Prison, where he was tortured, was on the way.

Deciding his path and marking it on the map where to go around to bypass the prison, he packed up his gear and tent. Kaidan would find some breakfast on the road on his next break and moved out on his way to the dragon burial mound.

Eastmarch never ceased to amaze him, and not in a good way. The place was horrid. Spending so much time in the rift with its beautiful orange-leaved birch trees as the leaves rained down in warm hues and craggy mountains, it was such a strange transition to the barren landscape before him. The air was cold, but he was sweating from the steam coming off of the volcanic waters. 

Hardly anything grew out there or was crawling with much life. Kaidan realized it was as good a place as any to make camp for the night with not much around to harm him, which was good since the area didn't give much in the way of shelter. 

After setting up camp and eating the rabbit he killed earlier, he removed all his clothes to soak in the hot waters, wanting to clean the sweat and grime off of his body from the past few days. Kaidan tested the hot water with a toe, then he slowly eased into it until his skin was used to the steaming waters. Leaning against a rock, he reclined back his head and let the water soak into his tired bones.

He felt alone with Minna gone. Kaidan had gotten used to being around the Bosmer, even if she wasn't very talkative. But he blew it by trying to kiss her, and she ran. He wanted to berate himself, but what was the point? She was gone, and there was nothing he could do about it. At least now he had a trail to follow into his past, which should keep him busy well enough. He pushed Minna out of his head as best he could and focused on the fact that he could get back on track with his own personal mission.

The cold air felt good on his hot skin when he got out of the water. Once he air-dried his skin, he got dressed before he got too cold and sat by the campfire, wrapping his cloak around his shoulders. He had to admit he felt lonely. It would have been nice to soak in the warm waters with a woman. To snuggle up next to her by the fire, even better, to make love to her under the stars.

It was then that Kaidan realized he hadn't been falling in love with Minna. He just needed a good snogging, maybe some sex. It wouldn't be the first time he has made that mistake before, confusing desire and need for love. He knew deep down he wasn't the most emotionally mature when it came to love, having minimal experience in the area. The second time he made that mistake, it had almost killed him. He decided to make a stop in Windhelm and pay a girl for the night just to cool him down. Paying for a girl wouldn't be nearly as good as having someone he cared about, but it would be more satisfying that his own hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

They had been following the Akavir with the suspicious dragon sword for days now. The Thalmor Justiciar had spent months trying to find the large man after he escaped from the Abandoned Prison, thinking he was tied to the Blades, their persistent enemy though there were very few left. They had almost broken him until the Dragonborn stumbled on to the place, slaughtering their people and freeing him.

Eventually, word reached the Thalmor that he had been spotted with the Dragonborn in The Rift. Keeping their distance, they trailed the duo for days once they caught up with them. They had to be extremely careful because not only was the Dragonborn dangerous, wary of her shouts, but she was well in tune with nature and had acute hearing. Their muffle spell and sometimes invisibility spell worked to keep them hidden from her keen senses.

When they caught up with him earlier that day, they found the Dragonborn had left him behind, and he was now alone for the taking. Even though he was alone, they were not going to underestimate him. They had seen him in battle and fighting dragons. He was strong, fast, and dangerous in his own right. 

After reaching his camp, they watched the large man remove all his clothes. There was a lot of clearing of throats as the Altmer tried not to avert their gaze lest they lose their quarry. 

Orenwen had never seen a man built like him. He was as tall as any High Elf, taller, yet his body was broad and thick like a Nord's. She tried not to look between his legs, but she found it impossible to avert her wide eyes, feeling the heat creep up her face, knowing her golden skin had turned orange and thanking the Gods that it was dark out. 

Mithlas, the one in charge of their little group, sent Arytha and Eldyon hand signals that they were to go around to the other side of the camp. The plan was to corner the Akavir, play the wolves' trick of coming at the prey in different directions, essentially cornering him. Being the fairest of the two females, they would use Orenwen as a distraction while the rest readied their paralysis magic on him. With the large Akavir distracted, they would risk fewer lives.

Orenwen pulled back her hood as long soft tendrils of ash blonde hair spilled around her shoulders. She unbuckled and removed her black Thalmor robes, folding them neatly inside her bag and tucked it away safely. The only thing covering her was a long, thin, and semi-transparent shift. She hated being the bait and forced to remove her clothes, as the heat continued to creep from her face to her chest in humiliation.

The two male Altmers averted their eyes, trying to avoid looking at the dark areas of her nipples, hiding the blushes creeping up their faces while the other female rolled her eyes at their discomfort. They had a job to do, and embarrassment wasn't part of the plan. 

The three Thalmor left to surround the large man, and Orenwen sat and waited for a moment to ensure the other three were in place before heading to greet the man. When she felt enough time had passed, she took some dirt from the ground and rubbed it all over her body and face and placed some leaves and sticks in her hair. She then took a section of her shift and ripped it. The Altmer cringed, not wanting to ruin a perfectly good shift, having not many to spare, but she would just have to sew it later.

Orenwen stumbled out from behind some boulders a distance away from the man's camp and feigned a limp, yelling out for help as she drew close enough. 

Kaidan's eyes blinked open to something, but he had learned long ago to not overthink it. If something was enough to startle him awake, then he would arm himself. Grasping his long curved sword by the hilt, he quickly climbed out of his tent, on guard. 

"Who's there! Show yourself!"

It remained quiet until he heard a soft 'help' nearby. He didn't let his guard down, asking the individual once again to reveal themselves. 

"Please, help me…" said the weak female voice. 

Kaidan squinted in the darkness to see what appeared to be a woman in a thin shift limping. As she drew near, he sheathed his sword and quickly approached her, seeing she was unarmed. Watching her limp painfully, he rushed over to lift her in his arms and carry her to his camp. 

Being suddenly picked up by the bare-chested Akavir, surprised Orenwen. The man's ease in his willingness to help her and ease her pain was strange to her. She had been told for so long what a monster he was. He was the enemy, and enemies never showed caring and empathy.

"You're OK. Come sit down by the fire," the Akavir instructed as he gently placed her on the ground next to the fire to get her warm. He looked her over and saw she was filthy and her shift torn, trying to ignore that it was see-through. Even in all the dirt, her golden skin shimmered in the firelight. 

"Do you want to tell me what happened?" he asked, plucking leaves and sticks tangled in her hair.

The elf hugged herself, rocking back and forth, pretending to be afraid and wishing her fellow Thalmor would hurry things along. There was only so much acting she could do before he realized she really wasn't injured.

She shook her head rapidly and made her lip quiver, trying to squeeze out tears. She could act, but she kept her emotions so reigned in, there would be no way to fake tears. "I...I...bandits."

"Those bastards! Can't they find a damned trade or something?"

He gently rubbed her back, telling her it was going to be OK, that she was safe now. 

The large man was so kind to her, even knowing she was a High Elf, usually hated by Man, especially Nords. He had carried her thinking she was injured and so gentle. Orenwen had a strange sense of guilt with what she was doing to him, an unfamiliar feeling that was unbidden. 

Though it wasn't a feeling she was used to, this was her first assignment since becoming a Justiciar after all. She knew they had a job to do, and he was the enemy, but when the enemy was kind, it tended to blur the lines of right and wrong. _Hurry up, Mithlas!_

"Here, let me get you something to eat," he said as he headed over to dig in his pack. "I don't have much, but I think I have an apple in here somewhere." 

Orenwen watched him, wishing for her fellow Justiciars to show up. He still had his tunic off, and his bareback glowed in the firelight. She had not been with the Thalmor long enough to see the horrors they could inflict, until now. His back was one massive scar—no hundreds of scars crisscrossing, blending into one. _Did we do that to him?_ She read about their torture methods but had yet to witness it personally. Reading about it and seeing it were two different things.

Before she could feel any more guilt about what she and her team were about to do, they finally showed up, their spells ready while he was distracted. They all fired their paralytic spell at the large man who crumpled hard to the ground, frozen stiff. Mithlas and Eldyon quickly bound his arms before the spell wore off, which would be soon as it didn't last very long. 

The two Altmer men hoisted Kaidan up on his feet, who looked directly at Orenwen with seething hatred with a hint of betrayal. She swallowed hard, feeling uncertain for the first time about what she was doing, doubt sent shivers through her. _The Thalmor never trained me for this._

"I...I'll be right back," she said as she rushed to grab her bag and put her robes back on and ran back to the camp, not wanting the others to see the guilt on her face. 

Eldyon clucked his tongue at Orenwen, "too bad, I kinda liked you with your…"

"Silence, Eldyon," spat the other female, Arytha. "Stick to the job at hand. She's not your toy!"

"Good job, Orenwen, in keeping this beast busy," Mithlas complimented when she returned, not showing his own disappointment she was now dressed. If he wasn't betrothed to a woman from a proper family, he would have enjoyed having his way with her. 

She bowed in gratitude, but she didn't feel grateful or proud. She chanced a look one more time at the Akavir only to quickly walk away to flee from his anger and looks of betrayal directed at her. She made her face a mask of indifference and tried to ignore him.

Mithlas spun the large man around facing him, "Do you have any idea how long we have been tracking you, unable to get close with your Dragonborn always close by? Imagine our surprise to find she left you high and dry, and to your fate. You two killed a number of our fellow Thalmor the last time we had you, and you will pay the price."

"You tortured me for no reason!" Kaidan spat at the elf. "You ambushed me and used my back for your whipping practice! What did you expect I would do, thank you for my pain and suffering? Thank you for not killing me? Death would have been preferable."

"You think you had it bad last time, wait until what we have in store for you."

Kaidan struggled to get away, but he felt electricity suddenly course through his body as he screamed and fell to the ground. Being lifted up again, he could feel them pushing him forward to walk, the threat of being electrocuted hovered over him, daring him to make a wrong move.

"Arytha, please be a dear and grab his belongings, especially that sword."

Orenwen followed a distance behind her comrades, wondering what horror they had planned for the man. 


	2. The Unexpected Savior

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan, expecting to be tortured and put to death by the Thalmor, finds his life is saved by the very person who assisted in his capture as the prison crumbles and is torn apart by a dragon. She risked her own life to save his. He carries her to safety if only to find out why she saved him as she now becomes his prisoner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Would love to hear your thoughts!

If anything, the Thalmor were consistent. Kaidan wasn't surprised they had brought him back to the very place of his last torture. He could almost feel their joy in anticipation of inflicting the pain he knew was sure to come. He wondered if torture was a favorite past-time of Altmer children, pulling wings from butterflies in sickening glee. 

The place had since been cleaned up of blood and corpses, and as a precaution, they added more guards to the area to make escape more complicated than it was the last time. The prison was still a ruin with crumbling stone and partially filled with water that seeped in from the rapid waters flowing next to it.

When they reached the very cell he was in last time, he balked, not wanting to go back in there as flashes of painful memories penetrated his mind like a dagger to the brain. Kaidan couldn't help the panic that rose in him, heart beating pounding against his chest almost painfully. He still wasn't entirely over the nightmares of his last torture. Now he was afraid he wouldn't survive it this time, knowing his death would not be quick— _butterfly wings._

"No, please…" he found himself begging weakly, so unlike him, the fear greater than his bravery.

"Get in there!" Mithlas grunted, shoving the large man in the cell and slammed the door, locking it as the Akavir fell to the ground.

"Watch him," he ordered her.

"Yes, sir," she bowed, but she didn't want to watch the man. His back was a constant reminder of her ever-growing guilt. Watching him was the last thing she wanted to do. He was locked up, and she wondered why he had to be watched at all, but orders were orders.

Kaidan walked around his cell nervously, grounded in fear. He was defiant and angry the last time he was brought there, but they nearly broke him. If it weren't for the Dragonborn, he would have. Kaidan knew this time they would most likely succeed, and when they did, they would kill him. To make matters worse, he also had more information about his sword than he did before and doubted his ability to keep it from them. 

Looking around, he could see other prisoners in various states of despair. Last time the prison was empty except for himself, now every cell was taken, mostly by Nord men— _Probably Talos worshipers_. Gods forbid people believe in what they want. Deciding he had nowhere to go and nothing to do until they came for him, he sat to conserve his energy. He was going to need every bit of it. 

Orenwen watched the man pace around like a caged animal— _He is a caged animal_. She watched his eyes go through a transition of fear, panic, sadness, then finally settled on resignation. 

The elf had been trained five years for this moment, her first assignment, and already she could barely stomach it. She knew why the Thalmor did what they did. She understood it and agreed with it, but they just didn't prepare them to see the suffering. Perhaps the Thalmor believed their trainees to be hardened enough. There was no reason for this man's torment that she could see. She couldn't figure out why the Thalmor wanted him, not understanding their desperation to find him, but Thalmor were trained to never question authority.

Orenwen struggled to see him as an enemy. He didn't behave like an enemy, usually so clearly defined and outlined in her training. She did not expect to see warmth and kindness in one who was supposed to be a cold-blooded killer.

She dealt with her own torments in her training. She was taught— _forced_ —to hide all emotion and push empathy aside. Empathy made interrogation impossible. She understood why or else it would plant seeds of doubts—doubts she was currently having, creeping in her mind like overgrown vines on a fence line. 

There were times the Altmer woman spent suffering torture herself, so if she were caught, she would never delve secret information to the enemy. She knew how painful it could be, the mental and physical torment, but she was allowed to heal and recover. The suffering didn't last days, weeks, months...years. Her pain would be one day, then a day of rest, return to be tormented, rest again. 

Being a Thalmor was not a position she chose for herself. It was selected for her, but she did her best to obey.

Orenwen started to squirm in discomfort when she caught the man looking at her. His red eyes stuck firmly on her gold ones. The look he gave her sent chills down her spine. She had never had anyone look at her like that. All his fear suddenly gave way to anger and hatred once again. The same eyes she saw the night before when he discovered her trickery. She looked away quickly, unable to stare at him any longer, giving away nothing on her face, but the very fact she had to turn away was telling.

It must have been close to the morning as Orenwen struggled to keep from falling asleep as she sat leaning against the damp stone walls. The cold penetrated her bones as a shiver coursed through her. The man in the cell had fallen asleep upright, chin slouched to his chest, as she watched him through heavy eyelids. He would blur in and out of focus as she started to drift.

Before her eyes could shut into a blissful sleep, she was startled by a shake of her shoulder. Looking up, she could see Mithlas' ashen hair pulled back cleanly from his face, looking well-rested and well-fed. "We are ready for him," he informed her.

She nodded in acknowledgment, "Good, I'm getting hungry."

"You will eat when I say you eat. I am in charge here, not you. We will deal with the prisoner, and when we take a break, then you can eat."

"Yes, sir. Apologies."

Kaidan saw the other Thalmor arrive, probably the one in charge, talking to the female. He sensed they were ready for him as he stood with clenched fists, preparing for a world of hurt. He couldn't just sit there and take it, needing to try something, anything. Perhaps an unexpected escape attempt would lead him to a quick death if he was lucky. 

Mithlas looked at the Akavir smugly, his face had a cocked smirk so full of self-righteousness. "Do you really think you can escape with fists alone?" He said, recognizing the man's stance. Mithlas fired off a lightning spell that had the Akavir wreathing on the floor as the electricity coursed through his body, sending jolts through his very soul. His body tensed so much, back arching on the ground, he couldn't even cry out except for a couple of grunts.

Soon, the other two Thalmor appeared to help bind Kaidan. Weak from the lightning spell, they quickly lifted the large man and bound his arms and hands behind his back, then hauled him to the torture room where screams could be heard from the other prisoners. Eldyon and Orenwen led the Akavir through the prison halls with Mithlas in the lead, and Arytha close behind. 

Orenwen dared look at the man she had ahold of, his face looking at hers, not with anger and hatred this time, but with pleading. She didn't realize how red his irises really were until she was up close, like the color of blood. Dunmer had red irises, but his sclera was white, where theirs were black—also noticing for the first time the red tattoo on the side of his face, not understanding how she missed such a thing.

She looked away from him and stiffened her resolve. They had a job to do, and she couldn't let emotions get in the way. Reverting back to her training to lock away feelings in a tight little box in her mind, she tightly grabbed his bicep with long fingers, ignoring his pleading eyes.

Kaidan was dragged into the very room where he was tortured last time. He could see a couple of Nord men and a woman stripped naked and being whipped by the Thalmor. Their screams and crying, begging to end their misery, reverberated through his mind, sending him waves of memory from his last torture. He choked back a sob that escaped his lips as he tried to control his emotions to no avail. If there was such a thing as a living nightmare, this was it.

So many emotions coursed through him, his mind couldn't pick just one to focus on. He had looked at the female Thalmor one more time pleadingly, looking for just a sliver of hope. He had noticed glances of periodic sympathy or guilt from her eyes, he couldn't figure out which, but tried to reach her. He felt stupid and berated himself for thinking she would turn on her fellow Thalmor.

Just as they entered the large stone room, the whole building started to shake as debris cascaded down from the ceiling as if the world was opening up before them. Everyone had their eyes peeled above, wondering what the tremor was, waiting expectantly for another that never came. Shrugging it off as an anomaly, they attempted to chain him against the wall. It happened again; this time large stones came crumbling down upon their heads, one crushing a Thalmor Justiciar whipping a Nord, killing him instantly, blood pooling on the stone floors.

All four Thalmor who were in charge of the Akavir stared once more at the ceiling, unsure what to do. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The dragon was flying low overhead, too close to the prison, putting the few Thalmor guards outside on high alert as they readied their spells. They waited out the dragon to see if it would continue flying away from them, but one guard panicked and let lose an ice bolt spell at it at the creature. 

The dragon had the intention to fly on, not noticing the _joore_ below, but it chose to defend itself as it turned around and blasted them and the building in a gulf of flames, roaring loudly as it flew by. 

The guards managed to roll out of the way, but they didn't know for how long they could keep it up if the dragon chose to continue its assault. The area was minimal, like a balcony to a house, and the only other place to go was in the freezing and rushing waters below. Firing their ice spells once more at the dragon, they fled inside to what they believe was their only refuge.

Angry at being denied its prey, the dragon landed on top of the already crumbling tower built into the cliffside. The weight of the creature caused the inside to crumble apart. Roaring once again, trying to instill fear in the pesky _joore_ inside, it dug talons as long as a man's arm deep into the building, trying to tear through it and blast it with fire.

When Mithlas saw the three guards running to find him, he demanded to know what was going on as the building continued to shake and crumble. 

"It was him," one of the guards pointed at another. "A dragon flew by, and this idiot fired at it, drawing its attention to attack!"

"I see, and why are you not out there trying to kill the beast," Mithlas yelled at the three guards.

"I...I...I," one of the guards stammered.

"Idiots! Get out there and kill it! Do not return until it is dead!"

The guards decided they stood a better chance at living facing the dragon than disobeying Mithlas and ran back out to kill the thing.

Everyone in the room looked up, even the weakened prisoners, to see the ceiling start to crack, realizing it was about to cave in on them all. 

"Get out!" Mithlas ordered the Thalmor. "Leave the prisoners!"

But it was too late as the ceiling was caving in around them, massive stones falling on top of Thalmor and prisoners alike, crushing them beneath. 

Orenwen didn't know what came over her when she saw the ceiling fall on top of them, shoving the large prisoner away to keep him from getting crushed. She wasn't even thinking when she did it as a large stone collapsed on top of her legs, breaking them. The elf woman screamed in pain. She looked around at the chaos around her seeing her fellow Thalmor all dead and crushed. When she looked up, her vision was blurring, seeing the Akavir looking down at her with perhaps a hint of pity. Perhaps not as he fled, leaving her to die.

Kaidan, like everyone else, had his eyes to the ceiling waiting for it to come crashing down. As the inevitable happened, he felt himself being shoved out of the way just in time for the large stones to miss him, barely. Shocked that he was still alive, he looked around him and saw everyone was dead and crushed except the female Thalmor, who was the one who strangely saved his life. Her legs were crushed underneath, but she was still living. There was a momentary pity for her until there was not. She was still a Thalmor and would have eventually tortured and killed him. 

After she passed out from the pain, Kaidan scrambled to find a dagger, but found a sword instead, maneuvering it to cut his bindings. He then ran to find his gear, assuming they stashed in the same place and prayed all his belongings were not beneath a pile of ancient stones. He was relieved to see the room was relatively intact, though he knew it wouldn't be long with the dragon still out there trying to claw its way inside. 

Kaidan found his gear in a chest and quickly donned his armor, sheathed his sword, and grabbed the rest of his equipment. Seeing some potions on a shelf, he shoved them into his bag in case he needed them and picked up a ring of keys. He rushed back down to the prison cells, opening them all up, freeing the remaining prisoners. 

He couldn't go up and out of the prison because of the dragon still out there. As he opened the last cell, he noticed some sort of hatch buried under some straw. Opening it, he saw a secret passageway. If there was any other way out, that would be it. 

Before he jumped down into the half-flooded passage below, something stopped him. Reluctantly, Kaidan looked back to where the torture chamber was. He couldn't see it as it was up another level, but there was a strange sense of guilt inside. For some reason, he couldn't leave the elf woman behind. Even though she tricked him into being caught in the first place, and she was going to join in his torture, she saved his life for some reason. If anything, he needed to know why.

Cursing the divines under his breath, wishing he didn't care, he rushed through his old cell and up the flight of steps into the ruined chamber with debris and stones still falling. The dragon had not lessened its assault on the ruined tower. Bending down, he checked the woman's pulse to see she was still alive. Finding it, he used all of his strength, shoving the large stone from her legs, picked her up, and threw her body over his shoulder.

It was hard climbing down the short ladder with her dangling from his shoulder, but he made it without dropping her on her head, wondering why he even cared. Squatting through the tunnel was difficult, being too tall and with the added weight. She was not a small elf compared to Dunmer or Bosmer. Altmer were very tall— _and heavy._

Fortunately, the hatch above was already open by the other prisoners who had already escaped. He climbed up the ladder and into the fresh air. Looking to his right, he could see the dragon still trying to tear up the building and fortunately distracted from those who escaped. 

Kaidan knew he couldn't carry her forever and figured he might as well walk to his abandoned camp, hoping it was still there though he was only taken last night. The Thalmor were dead except for the elf, so Kaidan didn't have any fears of being caught again. 

Even as strong as he was, Kaidan was starting to struggle to carry the woman over his shoulder as the muscles began to cramp. He shifted her to the other side as he continued on. He finally reached his camp as it was only a few miles away and gently laid the woman down, grateful she was still passed out. It wasn't for her sake and her pain, but for his as she would have thrashed and fought him, especially with those dangerous hands.

Pulling out some rope and one of his tunics, he tore up his shirt into large swathes, binding her hands into fists with the thick fabric so she couldn't use her spells against him. He knew all too well how powerful Altmer were in magic. Then he bound her two arms behind her with the rope. With some difficulty, he pulled her upright against a large boulder and tried to pour a health potion down her throat, she swallowed instinctively.

Kaidan was hungry, but he was not about to leave her unattended. Instead, he lifted up her robe to look at the damage of her legs. Gently pulling off her boots, she moaned in pain but remained out. Her legs were bleeding and bruised and bent unnaturally. He grimaced at the sight of her, realizing he was probably going to have to release at least one of her hands when she woke so she could heal herself. 

Taking another piece of his tunic, he went to the warm waters and soaked it, and started to clean the blood off her legs. Once they were clean, he wrapped them in the remaining torn cloth of his shirt to stop the bleeding. 

After setting up a fire, he didn't know what else to do, so he sat and watched her. Kaidan was sleepy, not having slept much the night before, but he didn't dare take his eyes off of her. Despite his need to stay awake, he ended up dozing from boredom. 

Orenwen woke up to the light of Mundus, her foggy mind couldn't figure out how she got outside. The last thing she remembered was being in that dank prison. No, the last thing she remembered was being crushed by stone before passing out. Looking around through blurry eyes, she saw the prisoner lying down napping in front of a dying fire. _Did he rescue_ _me?_ She remembered pushing him out of the way of the falling ceiling, not sure why. Then she remembered he ran. _He must have come back for me, but why?_

She shifted her body, being uncomfortable leaning against the rock, but a sharp pain shot up from her legs as she screamed. The pain was unbearable, trying to stifle the strange moisture forcing its way in her eyes. She tried to pull up her robe to see the damage and heal herself, but her hands were bound behind her. _He saves me, but he doesn't trust me enough to not kill him._

Kaidan woke up with a start when he heard the scream and quickly sat up, drawing his sword, looking around to find its source. He soon realized it was the Thalmor woman waking up.

Standing, he stretched, slowly approached her, and squatted down in front of her. "Why?" was all he asked, ignoring her pain.

"Why, what?" she asked through gritted teeth, her head held high, her voice resonant and arrogant, despite the pain and tears running down her face, so characteristic for her elven kind.

"You know what I am asking. Why did you push me out of the way? You expect me to believe you were going to torture me, but then suddenly grew a heart at the last minute to save me?"

"Is that why you saved me? For answers?" Her golden eyes penetrated his red ones, but she backed down first in the guise of detached aloofness rather than the fear she felt.

"In part," he said honestly. "I have to admit I felt a bit of guilt leaving you behind after you prevented my death."

The admission surprised her. "Well, I do not have an answer for you," she said, her head remained high and prideful. "Are you to torture me now? It shan't be difficult for you, being in the state that I am. Torture me then. I assure you, I still will not have an answer."

"Are you telling me your instinct was to save me then? I find that hard to believe. But I know what I saw on your face, like guilt or doubt."

It was instinct, and she couldn't figure out why. Her instinct should have been to save her own life, even at the expense of her comrades. The Thalmor were not generally selfless people being trained the way they were.

"The Thalmor don't feel guilt. I cannot answer you, _ephem_...outsider. I just...did it."

"Outsider? You're the outsider...the _ephem_. This is _my_ home, not yours. _You_ are the invaders in the guise of allies, pretenders."

"We are trying to…urgh!" she cried out when one of her legs moved in her anger, her tears finally set loose and slipped down her cheeks. "I...I suppose you are to keep me like this in pain?"

"I'm not you. I'm not the cruel Thalmor ready to torture on a whim!"

"It was not 'whim!' You are the enemy!" she shouted at him, losing her composure.

"Exactly how am I the enemy? I have done nothing to you people. I haven't even prayed at a Talos shrine. Six months ago, I was walking along in search of answers of my birth, and you damned elves ambushed me...tortured me for no fucking reason!" He was in her face at this point, anger boiling over, his almond-shaped eyes narrowed. "Do you even know why I'm the supposed enemy? Tell me because I have yet to figure it out."

"I…" Orenwen looked away, unable to answer the man.

"That's what I thought," he said softly, a smug look on his face, a look of triumph.

She was not looking at the Akavir, but Orenwen refused to look weak and vulnerable in front of him. "Torture me then. I can take it."

"By the Gods...you people. As I said, I'm not you. I'm not a torturer...a monster, but that doesn't mean I'm going to just let you go and have you scamper to the next group of Thalmor ready to hunt me down again. I will let you live for now, but do not think for one moment I will not kill you if you try anything."

She finally faced him and scoffed. "Then what will you have of me, _aprax..._ criminal? Am I to just lay here at your camp indefinitely?"

Kaidan stroked the scruff on his chin growing out, pretending to be lost in thought. "You know, that's not a bad idea. I could just leave you here to rot."

Orenwen's golden eyes narrowed in anger at him. "Then why did you bother bringing me here?"

"You're right," he sighed. 

She watched him pull out his dagger as her heart slammed against her chest, realizing this was where she was going to die. She was to die in this pit, this cold and backward country. Orenwen refused to show him her fear or shed a tear at her fate.

Kaidan saw her fear, despite her best efforts to hide it. "Don't look so scared. I didn't save you just to kill you, but I will if you leave me no choice. I am going to unbind your ropes and free one of your hands... _only_ one of your hands. We need to move from here to a place more secluded and full of prey for food. The only way to do that is to get you to walk again. I gave you a healing potion earlier, but your damage is too extensive, so you're going to have to heal yourself."

This was the second time today that Akavir surprised her. "You are not going to let me suffer?"

"Don't get your smalls in a wad. I'm not doing this out of the kindness of my heart, but I can't very well carry you everywhere either."

He tightly grasped both of her hands, one still tightly bound in cloth, so she couldn't fire off her spells. The other, he had a firm hold on her wrist and forced her hand down to her legs so she could heal herself, but unable to cast spells in his direction.

"Cast it," he ordered.

Orenwen knew the man was strong, but she had no idea how much until he had a firm grasp on her wrists, almost painfully so as he forced one hand over her legs. There would be no escaping from him then and decided to bide her time.

She cast her most potent healing spell, hearing broken bones snap back into place and felt flesh repair itself, trying not to weep from the pain, but tears spilled down her face despite her efforts. It hurt, but not nearly as much as she was before. Orenwen almost did weep in relief as the pain in her legs eased, letting a loud sigh to escape her lips.

Once the Altmer was done, Kaidan bound her hand and tied them together. He removed the blood-stained cloth from her legs and saw that they were thoroughly restored. 

"Move them," he ordered.

She wiggled her legs, feeling no pain. Kaidan nodded and grabbed the still damp fabric to wash away the remaining dried blood.

"There, good as new. Now stay put while I pack up camp. We need to make our way to the woods so I can secure you properly and hunt us some food."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Thalmor learns what it's like to be a prisoner.


	3. Open Confines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orenwen is now Kaidan's prisoner. He's afraid if he lets her go, she will either kill him or draw more Thalmor to him, so he keeps her close for now as he travels on to Windhelm.
> 
> Fan Art of Orenwen and Kaidan at the beginning of this chapter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Would love to know what you think so far. <3

With the pack strapped to his back, his sword in his hand meant for two, and the Thalmor woman bound in rope in the other, she started to lead them out of the camp. 

"If you want me to lead from this forsaken place, you need to tell me what direction to walk in," she ordered, feeling like a pet dog. _This is absolutely humiliating_ , she complained in her head, pondering ways to get out of it.

Her haughty voice grated Kaidan's nerves already. He pointed with his sword in the direction he wanted to go. "That way."

"How long do you plan to keep me bound like this?"

"Just walk…"

The long day was blissfully in silence as the two walked North toward Windhelm. The Thalmor complained a lot less than he expected, though he was sure her head was churning full of ways to escape. 

The barren and volcanic water landscape soon gave way to the thickening of trees and snow. Orenwen was used to long treks on foot, especially after spending days tracking the man who now held her prisoner, but this man was a machine. He never seemed to wear down or take a break. "I'm tired," she finally informed the Akavir, desperately needing a break.

"We will stop in an hour. I know of a place to camp a bit further North."

"I need a break," she insisted, unable to go for another hour.

Kaidan sighed, wondering if her need to stop would involve plans to escape. "We stop in an hour, _Thalmor_ ," he repeated.

"I need to…" she sighed loudly, reluctant in voicing her needs. Her teeth mashed together, jaw clenched, knowing she had no choice but to explain why she needed to stop. "I cannot hold it much longer."

"Hold what?"

The Thalmor woman stopped and turned to the large man, her eyebrow cocked. "Are you really so daft that you are going to make me spell it out for you? Fine, since you insist on embarrassing me, I have to...urinate," she finally explained, cringing at the word.

"Oh."

"Yes,' Oh.'"

"Fine," Kaidan said as he dragged her near a copse of trees, not that there was anyone around to see her. When they walked behind a large tree she just stood there, back to him. They didn't have all day to just stand there while she decided to relieve herself or not. "Are you going to go or what?"

"You do not expect me to urinate through my clothes, do you?" She tried to be strong and defiant, but she couldn't control the quiver in her voice. She didn't want to walk in her own filth nor go in front of the man. Being bound was humiliating enough.

"Why not? You Thalmor make your prisoners do so. They are forced to sit in their own filth in their cells with no regard for simple decency. The last time you Thalmor had me, they chained me to a wall for days as I had no other choice. You people don't just torture, but humiliate us—treat us no better than animals." 

Orenwen's face turned from gold to orange as she felt the heat creep up to her face. She was grateful she had her back to the man so he couldn't see. She wasn't sure if the embarrassment was the fact her people treated him this way or that he was planning on treating her similarly. "I...I didn't…," she stammered.

"Didn't what? Didn't know? Of course, you did. You Thalmor do it on purpose. Surely you were trained in the art of torture, _Thalmor_ ," Kaidan spat.

"Yes, but to leave one in their own filth like that was not in any book I read, nor in my teachings."

"Ah, so you all choose to be bastards, understood. You realize that makes you sound worse, right?"

Orenwen's eyes welled up with tears, realizing he was going to force her to go right there, as is. _Stop your sniveling woman. You have been trained for this, and if he sees, he will use it against you._

Orenwen stood there, squeezing muscles to keep from just going as her bladder continued to fill. She couldn't go with him standing there, and in her clothes, she refused to. It was humiliating and she started to understand what he was talking about. A tear managed to escape her eye, worried she would have to soil herself or suffer the pain in her bladder. Her only solace was he couldn't see her discomfort. 

Kaidan sighed loudly; he was not going to let her urinate in her clothes. He just wanted to show her how other prisoners felt for a while. "I'm not a monster like you, but I can't let you free either. If I let your hands loose, you'll just kill me or run off to find more Thalmor to hunt me down. I just...need to be free of you Gods damned people."

He started to lift her robes to pull down her smalls, but she tried to quickly pull away from him, almost falling as the rope pulled tautly. "Absolutely not!" she yelled, now facing him, her golden eyes flaring like flames in her anger.

"Do you need to go or not?" he yelled, already over with this nonsense. Soon he could see the woman's lip start to quiver and eyes water in her embarrassment. The elf was trying to hold it in, but she wasn't succeeding. "Look, I don't want to stop you from doing...you know, but I don't know what to do that doesn't involve you killing me."

"Just, I do not know, put a sword to my throat, and do not look down after untying me."

Kaidan gave it some thought and came to a compromise. "Fine, but if you try to kill me, you're dead, _Thalmor_. And you only get one hand, not two."

"But…"

"No 'but's,' that's the deal."

"Fine!" Orenwen huffed, though internally, she was excited. One hand would be enough to escape.

Kaidan unbound the Altmer's hands and removed the thick cloth from one of them. As soon as her hand was free, he quickly took his sword to her throat, the sharp end digging into the flesh. "Go and go quickly."

"Do not look!" she demanded.

"My eyes will not leave yours."

Orenwen tried not to appear weak in front of the man, wearing anger and defiance on her face as she reached down to slide off her smalls from one leg awkwardly, then she spread her legs to go, but nothing happened. Her body refused to go.

"How much do you need to go?" Kaidan huffed.

"I...I have not gone yet."

"What? I thought you couldn't wait any longer?"

"I could not wait! I just cannot go in front of you. You try urinating in front of others with a sword to your throat!"

"Yeah, well, you have no choice, _Thalmor_. Either you are done or you force it out. This is a better deal than you all gave me."

Seeing that she had no choice, Orenwen worked on her breathing as a distraction from the man watching her. After a few minutes, she could finally feel the warmth emptying from her bladder. Her relieved sigh was audible, the release almost pleasurable, so much so, she almost wept.

She stood and struggled to put back on her smalls, but finally gave up and just removed them, shoving them in a pocket of her robe, not wanting to go through with removing them again. It would also help her dry out. When she looked at the Akavir, she could see his face blushing. If he was blushing, then he was distracted. 

Orenwen, quick as lightning, ducked from the sword and shoved him away from her as she tried to blast him with a fireball, but he was more prepared than she anticipated. He yanked the rope tied to her as her body crashed to the ground. Pulling her hand, Kaidan, quickly bound it back in the fabric and lifted her form in the air by her arm alone, leaving them face to face.

She swallowed hard realizing how strong he really was, and that her ploy failed miserably, but she refused to show him her fear. 

"I should let you soil your clothes next time just for that, _Thalmor_ ," he growled.

"Did you really think me a meek little mouse, afraid of you enough that I would not try to escape?"

He growled once more as he put her down and bound her hands together. "Yes, I think you are afraid. It's written in your eyes. You think you can hide it, but I know fear better than anyone. There isn't much you can hide from me."

Kaidan yanked her body towards his, her chest pressed against his as he looked down on her. She was tall, but not quite as tall as he. "If you try that again, I will not hesitate to kill you. Do you understand?"

Orenwen could see the sincerity in his face and knew he was not lying. All she could do was swallow and nod.

"Good. Let's go, _Thalmor_."

An hour later, Kaidan had the female High Elf strapped to a tree, grateful he still had all that rope, while he set up camp. He was reluctant to leave her to go hunt, but they needed to eat. If she fled, he didn't really care as long as she didn't try to kill him. _More food for me, but it will mean I will probably have to leave Skyrim without my answers._

Kaidan returned to camp an hour later with several rabbits, surprised she was still there if he were honest. Though he was sure she attempted to escape, she was just unable to. The elf still glowered at him, but he ignored it as he threw the rabbits to the ground and put away his bow, then set about skinning the animals.

Orenwen's mouth salivated with the smells of roasted rabbit, feeling her stomach rumble. She had not eaten since the day before. There was supposed to be breakfast for her that morning, but Mithlas denied her as they had to deal with the Akavir. Her stomach rumbled once more, this time painfully, doubts creeping if he would feed her at all. The Thalmor would have starved him, she knew, so she expected no less from the man.

She tried not to cry, getting angry at herself for being so emotional already, but between the humiliation and hunger, it was making her upset. Orenwen was trained by the best, and after a day, she had already let tears slip a couple of times. She felt weak and pathetic—a failure. She now understood why the Thalmor deny bathroom privileges and food to their prisoners. It quickly weakens them and turns them into emotional wrecks. Between that and the pain inflicted, what better way to get answers. Deciding to suck it up, she ignored her hunger pains and thought of ways to escape the man.

Kaidan tested a rabbit to check its doneness. Satisfied they were ready, he pulled them off the fire to cool down. He sat there in front of the fire, cleaning pelts while the rabbits cooled, then checked them once more. When they were cool enough, he came to sit next to the High Elf with a couple of cooked rabbits.

"Come to taunt me with food, I see," she said smugly, chin held high. He must not see her as weak or emotional.

Kaidan took a large bite of rabbit from a leg and groaned in pleasure at the tastiness, a smile of satisfaction on his face, eyes rolling in exaggeration as he satiated his hunger. "Delicious!"

Watching her watch him eating intently, she couldn't hide how hungry she was despite her trying to convince him otherwise. She then looked away, not giving him the satisfaction of her discomfort.

While he was tormenting her a little, he wasn't about to starve her. "I'm fairly sure I've told you I am not like the Thalmor, nor am I a monster. I came over here to feed you."

"Oh."

"Yeah, 'Oh,'" he said, repeating their words from earlier.

Kaidan tore some meat off the rabbit and held it out in front of her face, but she wasn't taking it in an attempt to be defiant, showing him contempt. He knew the ploy well. "Are you hungry or not," he asked. "I mean, if you don't want it, I can eat it. I'm still hungry." 

He moved the piece of meat towards his mouth… "Wait!" Orenwen yelled out, sucking up her humiliation to feed her growing hunger.

He smiled in triumph and moved the piece of meat to her mouth once more as she took a tentative bite. Deciding it was delicious and even more hungry than she thought, he ended up feeding her the entire rabbit.

Digging in his pack, he pulled out the cantine and offered her some water, which she drank greedily, spilling down the front of her robes. "I guess I should have given you water earlier, sorry about that," he apologized, meaning it. "I honestly forgot."

She looked at the man thinking how strange he was to apologize to his prisoner. "I thought you did it on purpose."

"How many times do I need to tell…"

"Yes, yes, you are not a monster, yet here I am still tied up."

"I may not be a monster, but that doesn't mean I trust you, _Thalmor._ Next time, if you are hungry or thirsty, speak up. I may not provide right away, but it will remind me of your needs."

Orenwen watched the Akavir leave and remove his tunic. Her stomach clenched with worry that he was going to do something to her, rape her. Instead, he headed over to the stream to clean up. She watched him splash water in his armpits and wash the grease off his hands and face. He took a piece of cloth, dipped it in the water, and came back to her. 

Squatting in front of her once more, he cleaned the grease and dirt off of her face. She watched the Akavir in front of her with his strange red eyes and the peculiar red tattoo on his face, wondering what possessed him to clean her face, but she didn't ask.

"I hate it when my face is greasy and filthy for some reason. I just thought you might not either," Kaidan said, answering her internal question.

Once he removed all the dirt from her face and actually paid attention to her, he saw she was quite beautiful—beautiful and deadly, he reminded himself. He also noted she was shivering from the cold, but trying to hide it. He left and returned once more, carrying his cloak, draping it over the front of her body. 

Orenwen had had enough. "What? What is going on? Why the sudden gentleness?"

"I told you, I'm not…"

"I KNOW! You're not a monster!" she shouted, finally losing her composure. It wasn't that she was angry as these turn of events, she just didn't like doubting he was her enemy.

"And I will keep telling you that until you get it through those pointy ears of yours, _Thalmor_."

Kaidan headed back to his place on his bedroll, stretched, then sat down watching the fire. He enjoyed watching a fire, the dancing flames and popping of wood was hypnotic. It helped him lull to sleep, especially after days of stress and worry.

"It's Orenwen," she said out of the blue.

"What is an orenwen?" he asked, not looking at her, uncertain if he even cared.

"Urgh, really? My name. My name is not... _Thalmor. It's_ Orenwen"

Kaidan looked at her then, face expressionless. "Your name doesn't change who you are."

Orenwen huffed and closed her eyes. She knew it was going to be hard sleeping upright, but she had little choice. She leaned her head back against the tree and started to calm her breathing to help her get drowsy.

In the morning, Kaidan gently woke up Orenwen hearing her groan with muscle stiffness. He untied her from the tree and took her away from camp so she could relieve herself, then sat her down in front of the fire to eat, feeding her some eggs he found earlier that morning and left-over cooked rabbit.

"We should be in Windhelm by tonight," he said.

"Windhelm? That is the den of the enemy," she replied in shock, eyes darting nervously.

"I'm well aware, but you will fit in just fine."

"Have you looked at me recently? My gold skin and Thalmor robes will stand out like a sore thumb. The Nords will kill me on sight."

"We will get you some proper farm clothes in Kynesgrove and get you out of those hideous robes. Then we will stay at Candlehearth Hall for the night. I need…"

"They are not going to let me in there!" she insisted.

"You're not Dunmer, you will get in, especially as my wife," he smirked at her.

"Wife? As if, you big oaf!" Orenwen huffed. "No one will believe that."

Kaidan chuckled at her expected outburst. "So little faith...You are acting like you have a say or choice in the matter, _Thalmor_."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As promised, the duo reached Windhelm by nightfall. Orenwen felt strange in a dress, feeling constricted by the corset, and it was awkward getting in one tied up and having her captor not see anything. She had no control over the blush that crept over her face, spreading to her ears, when he tied the front of her corset. She was shivering in the blustery wind and tried not to slip on the ice on the cold stones as they headed to the main gate.

Walking towards the city gates, Kaidan kept her hands bound in cloth so she couldn't cast any spells, but untied her hands. To keep her from trying anything, she wore his cloak, and he held a dagger at her back underneath it. 

Candlehearth Hall was warm and inviting, larger than most inns throughout Skyrim. It wasn't a place Orenwen would typically attend, but it was better than being outside in the cold. As predicted, people stared at her strangely, some with outright malice. A city full of Nords who hated everyone but themselves could spell trouble for her, well more trouble than she already had. She wasn't ignorant to the fact the Thalmor were of a similar mindset. They hated the Nords, all humans, really.

Kaidan approached Elda, the owner, wiping down some mugs behind the bar, still holding Orenwen tightly with the dagger. 

"I'd like a room, two bowls of whatever stew you have, fresh bread and two meads, please."

He threw some coins on the counter, and the two sat down at a table. Kaidan put away his dagger, hoping she wouldn't lash out, but confident she would behave in front of all the Nords. He sat as close to her as possible, arm draped around her shoulder in a loving manner, and periodically pecked her cheek with a kiss trying to convey he was a loving husband. The whole scene brought him some amusement, but wasn't just for laughs, it was to show the people that they were together and not mess with him, for his safety as well as hers.

Orenwen was disgusted by his little kissing pecks on her cheek, and she did everything she could to keep from wiping them off her face as if that would make them magically disappear. It was even more humiliating that he would feed her as if she were an infant. Everyone in the place had eyes on her, staring at the strange scene. She could feel the heat creep up her face and ears. Regardless of appearances that they were husband and wife, people still didn't like an Altmer there.

A big Nord came up, looking at the strange couple. He wasn't just tall, but too much mead had left his mid-second rotund. The black hair on his head and chin were greasy from a lack of bathing.

"What's with you feeding the elf, friend? My buddies and I were curious...I lost the bet."

Kaidan gave the man a sad smile, playing the role of a devastated husband. "It's a sad story, friend. This is my beloved wife. Married only three years, but it feels like twenty-three, doesn't it, sweetheart? That's how in love we are. I'm afraid some bandit attacked her while I was off hunting, and they cruelly burned her hands." He had a look of disgust and shame on his face for not being there for her when she needed him. 

"She's in recovery with lots of healing potions, but it's going to take time, and I'm afraid her hands will be permanently scarred. I have to feed my love now until she gets better. I feel so horrible I wasn't there for her, but I did manage to kill the bastards." To make a show of it, he put the mug of mead to her lips, forcing her to take a sip.

The Nord looked down at them sympathetically. "My apologies. I'm sorry to disturb you both. I do hope she gets better."

"Thank you for your genuine concern. Love will carry us through this dark time. Isn't that right, honey?" Kaidan asked and kissed her again on her cheek. 

Orenwen smiled bitterly, biting her tongue to keep from lashing out. "Yes...honey," she said through gritted teeth.

When the man left, she lashed at him. "Why? Why are you doing this? And stop kissing me," she hissed so no one would hear.

"I'm keeping you safe, believe it or not. It keeps these louts from doing anything to you, and it doesn't hurt to give them some empathy towards you."

"Really? Because you seem quite pleased with yourself. I can see amusement plastered all over your face."

"Well, I have to admit the look on your face is quite enjoyable with each kiss I give you."

"You are a beast."

He chuckled, "Indeed."

Their room was small, but it had a double bed and enough room for both of them. Kaidan tied her up tightly to the bed, testing the ropes to make sure she couldn't get out of them and headed out the door.

"Where are you going?" she asked, hoping he had his own room, and she would be left alone long enough to figure a way out of her predicament.

"To have a bath and I have...needs if you must know. It's been...a very long time."

"Urgh…" she grunted in disgust, knowing what he meant by 'needs.' "Spare me the details."

Kaidan grinned at the woman and went to find a bath and a wench. "You asked," he chuckled as he left the room, locking the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: There is only reason Kaidan is in Windhelm...some relief.


	4. Basic Needs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan seeks some much-needed release and relaxation. Orenwen struggles with sleep as she is forced to endure the sounds of pleasure in the very next room. Kaidan gives in a little to Orenwen, making her being captive only slightly less miserable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sexual content in the beginning chapter - NSFW
> 
> Thank you for reading! I would love to know what you think! <3

Kaidan soaked in the tub, loosening his tight and tired muscles. Once he felt refreshed, he was eager to get on with the evening, quickly washing up with soap, making sure to scrub his long dark hair. After drying off, he threw on his clothes and pulled his hair back in its half-bun, leaving the rest long. He then went to check if the Thalmor woman was still tied up. He gave her a toothy smile and a little finger wave at her scowl and locked the door once more to go find his pleasure for the evening.

The little redheaded Nord woman pulled Kaidan by the hand inside the room backward, taunting him with her hips. The room happened to be next to the place where the Altmer was resting, tied up. Before they got started, she turned over the hourglass on the table. When the sand ran out, their time would be over. She then undid the bindings holding up her long hair as it came tumbling down in curly red waves, shaking it out around her shoulders.

Removing his tunic, he leaned back on the bed with ease, stretching out his long legs on the bed. Kaidan watched the pretty thing remove her dress, wearing nothing underneath, much to his delight. He smirked as he watched her slink over to him, wide hips swaying purposefully to draw him in, but he was already drawn. He rubbed his hands up and down her narrow waist as he sucked on her pert breasts, nibbling nipples, sliding his hands down her ass. He didn’t know if her moans were real or not, but it didn’t really matter since it had the same desired effect. He would care if she were a lover, but she was not. She was only temporary—and expensive, especially since he had her for an hour. 

Kaidan playfully pulled her down suddenly and laid her gently on her back in bed. She squealed in delight and surprise, resulting in a fit of bubbling laughter. He didn’t want to just get off, but to savor the moment, wanting to get his full hour’s worth. He didn’t know how long it had been since he had sex, losing count, and it almost horrified him to think it could have been close to a year, so he shoved it out of his mind. He was having some now, that was all that mattered. He did make a mental note not to go so long without.

Lying down on his side, leaning down on an elbow to watch her bosom rise up and down from heavy anticipated breathing, he slid a hand down between her legs, loving the red hair on her mound, then slipped a finger inside. Kaidan was pleasantly surprised she was wet, though she could have prepared beforehand as wenches were known to do. As his hand caressed her warm and wet core, he sucked on one of her large breasts. He wasn’t about to suck on her, not knowing how many men she had been with earlier, but he wanted her to get off as he started to rub that bundle of nerves and finger her simultaneously.

The woman’s face morphed from curiosity to contentment that he was thinking about her pleasure as well, a rare thing in her line of work. She spread her legs to give him more access as he inserted more fingers, using a thumb to rub her clit. Her moans were stifled by a kiss, tongue inserted in her mouth. She ran a hand along his back, trying not to react to the rough texture from all the scars. He was handsome and fit, and she reminded herself that she was lucky to have such a man for an hour. Most men she had were barely worth a glance.

Kaidan could tell she was getting closer as he focused more on her clit, feeling her get warmer and wetter. He pulled away from her lips so he could watch her in the throes of her orgasm. He pretended, for a while, that they both cared about one another. With eyes closed, full lips open, she groaned loud enough to ensure the patrons heard her in her pleasure as he felt her pulse around his fingers, knowing it was the real thing.

When she was finished, she rolled over on top of him, nibbling down his body until she reached his breeches, unbuckling them and slowly pulled them off. The woman peeked at him over his knees that were dangling off the bed. A smile played on her lips, the excitement from his size was apparent, pleased he wasn’t just all looks from the waist up.

Grabbing his hands, she was unable to pull his dense body upright, so he had to assist her. Once he was vertical, she spread his knees, grabbed his hardened cock, and ran a tongue up and down his shaft with brown eyes staring at his red ones. He moaned at the feeling and tried not to close his eyes so he could watch her, leaning back on his hands. 

She was a tease as she nibbled gently on his thighs, and back to running her tongue along his long shaft, knowing what areas that drove him insane. The woman was soon done, teasing him to save time. She wanted to get him off, but she wanted his cock in her too before the end of their time. It was rare to have a man of his looks and physique to seek out women in her line of work, and she was going to savor every minute of it.

Running an expert tongue along Kaidan’s tip, twirling it, he hissed, the area being sensitive already, then she took him in her warm mouth. His cock was impossible to fit in her mouth in its entirety, so she had to use her hand to do the rest. Her other hand caressed his balls. She moaned with her mouth full, which only fueled him further, eyes still gauging his reactions. 

Kaidan could feel the heat build between his legs and knew he was going to explode soon, trying to push the feeling away so it wouldn’t happen so fast, thinking about something else, anything, but she knew too well what she was doing and then it was too late. He exploded in her mouth, and he groaned with each suck as she swallowed all he had to give her.

Falling back in bed, he panted and felt numb as his heart raced. The red-head crawled next to him in bed, draped a leg over his, and ran gentle fingers along his chest, noting the lack of chest hair. It was strange after fucking Nords, who were notoriously known for being hairy.

“Urgh, I finished too early. Dammit!”

“Been a long time?”

“Aye…” he sighed.

“Well, we have at least forty minutes left. You’re very young, and I am sure we can get you going soon. I have plans to have that inside of me,” the wench informed him, pointing to his now flaccid cock with a confident smile on her face.

He breathed out a laugh, hoping she could get him going again.

They laid there for about ten minutes as she lazily drew circles on his chest, neither of them talking. When she felt he could do it again, she slid her hand down his cock and started nursing and coaxing it back to life again. She smiled at him when he finally hardened once more.

“See, I knew you could do it,” she announced triumphantly.

The red-head straddled him, but he sat up and rolled her onto her back and slid his cock slowly into her. He desired to thrust into her fast and hard, but Kaidan started slow and soon built up his speed as he rolled his hips into her. She was tight enough, but it just wasn’t deep enough for him. Grabbing her shins, he folded her legs back and— _there we go_. 

Soon he was thrusting as fast and hard as his body would allow trying to fill some sort of void. It was so rough, the headboard slammed against the wall, no doubt keeping everyone up, but he didn’t care at that moment. His body froze as he exploded once more and collapsed on the woman with his face buried in her neck as he finished.

“That was exactly what I needed,” he panted, sweat forming on his brow.

The woman just giggled at his weakness. 

His time was over as he finally got up, pulled on his pants and boots, and dropped her money on the side table. 

As he was walking off, the girl grabbed him by the hand. “If you ever come back to Windhelm, do not hesitate to find me,” she winked at him.

Kaidan cocked a smile and returned to his room next door.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orenwen spent a good twenty minutes trying to work out the knots in the ropes or wiggle her hands loose to no avail. All it served to accomplish was chaffing in her wrists. He had them on so tight, her hands were starting to go numb. It was a strange thing, pain with numbness. Finally giving up, she grunted in irritation then tried to get some sleep with nothing better to do, not wanting to think about how she got in this predicament. If she hadn't pushed him out of the way, he would be dead. So would she, but still...

As her eyes got heavy and started to close, Orenwen was startled awake to sounds of a woman moaning loudly next door— _Oh, for the love of_ … Huffing, she tried to adjust her uncomfortable body as much as she could, trying to ignore the woman next door.

Orenwen knew the woman’s orgasm couldn’t last forever, so she waited it out before trying to sleep again. Her eyes finally grew heavy once more as she started dozing before she heard loud grunts coming from a man suddenly waking her up once more. No, not a man, her captor— _that damned Akaviri!_ She grunted in disgust, trying to cover her ears with her shoulders, but no amount of body adjustments worked. Nothing would block out the sounds of him in his pleasure from her sensitive hearing.

She yawned from exhaustion, and finally, it was silent for a long while. Deciding that they were finished, she closed her eyes again and started to fall asleep. Orenwen got as far as having a dream before she was startled awake yet again by a heavy sound of wood against wood banging, hearing them both moaning.

 _How much does that man possibly need?!_ She yelled in her head.

The banging and grunts finally died down, and Orenwen breathed a sigh of relief. _Surely he is done now. Please be done now._ Any chances of sleep eluded her after being interrupted several times.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaidan unlocked the bedroom door and opened it as quietly as he could, thinking the Altmer woman was asleep.

“You needn’t bother being quiet,” she griped.

“Not asleep yet?”

“How could I with all that...that racket next door.”

Kaidan stifled a snort of laughter. “You heard that, huh?”

“All of Windhelm heard that,” she retorted.

“Sorry, it’s, uh, been a while,” he informed her intentionally to add to her discomfiture.

“Urgh…”

“Are you telling me when you do it, you’re quiet as a mouse?”

“I am not talking to you about my...urgh,” she repeated in disgust, unable to finish her sentence.

Kaidan chuckled at her. There was nothing that was going to ruin his mood, not even the Thalmor woman. Removing his boots, he let them drop with a loud thunk on the floor and plopped his body into the double bed still in his pants, but not wearing a shirt.

Orenwen looked at the Akavir, eyebrow cocked, the scent of lavender and sex wafting off of his skin. “What do you think you are doing?”

“I’m going to go to sleep is what I’m doing,” he explained, lacing his fingers on his chest and closing his eyes.

“Not in here, you’re not. Sleep on the floor,” Orenwen demanded.

Kaidan opened one eye and looked at the Altmer. “I do believe I paid for this room. You have a choice, though. You can stay in this comfortable bed with me, or you can sleep on the floor, _Thalmor._

Orenwen weighed her options and decided it would be better in a bed with him than on the cold and hard floor. “Fine,” she conceded.

“That’s what I thought.”

He must have fallen asleep rather quickly as she could hear his light snoring and slower breathing, but sleep was not finding her. Her back hurt from the prolonged uncomfortable position, her hands were achy and numb at the same time, her head hurt, and she was cold since she had no blanket on her. The dress’ corset was constricting her ribs, and she needed a bath, tired of her stink. 

Orenwen was tired of it all and soon found herself in tears, angry she was crying again, which only served to make her cry more. All her years of training had proved useless in keeping her emotions at bay. If she were caught by the Stormcloaks, she knew she would sing like a bird. The thought left a bitter taste in her mouth. She just wasn’t as strong as she thought she was.

Soon she was gasping for air as her body racked in quiet sobs, trying to keep the noise down, not wanting the Akaviri to hear her and show him how weak she indeed was. 

Kaidan woke up to a sound, not sure what it was, and quickly sat up, ready to grab his sword before realizing it was the Thalmor woman lying next to him. Looking over at her, she was trying to hide her face from him, but it was clear she was crying.

“Shor’s pimply ass,” he bemoaned as he rubbed his tired face in his hands. “You know, you make a terrible Thalmor.”

Orenwen turned to face him, tears in her angry and swollen eyes. “Do you think I don’t know that! Thalmor do not weep!” she spat out. Saying her thoughts out loud only made her cry harder as her face scrunched and contorted, trying to hold back the flood, and her bottom lip quivered.

“Alright, I’ll bite. What’s wrong besides you being tied up and stuck with me?”

“Besides? Is that not enough? My hands are numb, my back hurts from continuously sleeping upright, my bottom is numb as well, I need to...urinate again, and I am tired of smelling like some draugr, this dress is crushing my ribcage...need I go on? I mean, what do you plan to do when my body goes through its moon cycle next week? Hmmm?”

Kaidan blushed, not having thought that far ahead. He scratched and rubbed his neck in embarrassment. “Yeah, maybe I didn’t think of that.”

“Clearly.”

He rubbed his face with his hands in frustration once more, wishing he never brought her with him, that he just left her behind. But that wasn’t his way either. She did save his life, and he still didn’t know why, but he was starting to get clued in. He couldn’t just leave her behind after that.

Kaidan looked at her in all seriousness, using a softer voice, surprising her by using her name. “Orenwen, what would have me do? Do you think I enjoy lugging you around tied up? I have a mission of my own, and you are in the way of that. But your people took me...again! They were going to hurt me then kill me. You know this. I know you didn’t like it either. I saw it in your eyes though you tried to hide it. You knew it was wrong. That is why you saved me, right?”

She was quiet, not wanting to answer him. Since she refused to say anything, not looking at him, he continued.

“I can’t let you go. I’m sorry. Even though you pushed me out of the way from the crumbling ceiling, you are still a Thalmor. You are trained in spying and inflicting pain. Your very nature is treachery, and you will just run back to them, tell them what happened, and they will hunt me down again. If I thought it was going to be bad before, I would wish for death before they even start on me again. They will not stop until I am dead. Of course, that may be all moot. If I let you go, you could just as easily kill me. Not only are you a Thalmor, but you’re a mage. I trust mages almost as much as the Thalmor.”

“You know there is more to the Thalmor than just spying and torture. We…”

But Kaidan held up a hand to silence her. “I don’t care. Whatever you were going to say is irrelevant based on what their plans were for me and what they have already done. I know you saw my back.”

They were silent for a while. Kaidan was trying to figure out what to do with her. He had her tied up and didn’t trust her, but he didn’t want her hurt either. 

“You know, the prison was my first assignment. I didn’t want it. I wanted to do more clerical work or go into academia, a simple life, but it was denied to me, not that I had a say in the matter.”

Kaidan sighed once more. He wasn’t sure he believed her or not, but he knew she was inexperienced in her job. “Alright, I will tell you what. I will loosen your bindings, so they don’t hurt so much, I will tie one hand back up but do so in a way you can lie down. I will tie your other hand to mine, so at least you can roll on your side. But I will first take you to the privy. Deal?”

Orenwen nodded at the Akaviri. 

“Just...please don’t try to kill me. I would hate to have to kill you,” Kaidan said in all honesty.

When they returned to their room from the privy, he grabbed her hand to tie her up again, but she yanked it back. Kaidan tried to grab it yet again, but she stepped away from him, eyeing him carefully, not in a daring way, but seeing how he would react. 

“I thought you were going to cooperate,” he berated her.

“I don’t want to be tied up again.”

“I know you don’t, but I don’t care. I would like to get some shut-eye. It’s been a long few days. I can’t do that with you lose.”

“I promise not to do anything,” she pleaded. 

“Good try. Not happening. I am already cutting you quite a bit of slack with the one-hand thing.”

Orenwen nodded, finally relenting, and came up to him, unable to keep the pout off her face and stop her lip from quivering. She could have blasted him if her hands weren’t wrapped up so tightly, but she knew she would stand no chance against the Nords here if they found out she hurt him or killed him.

Lying in bed, he tied one hand to the bedpost, then crawling in bed himself, he joined his right to her left together, so at least she could move it around a bit. Lying there facing each other, so their hands didn’t get tangled, they both drifted off to sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The light of Mundus drifted in through the single window in the room, waking Orenwen as her eyes fluttered open. Her arm was lifted over her head, still connected to the bed, realizing she had rolled over in the night. She felt warm and strangely comfortable as she shifted around, noticing something leaden along her waist. Raising her head, she looked to see the Akarviri’s heavy arm across her body almost as a snuggling lover might, his hand still tied to her other hand. She could feel him pressed up against her, his warm breath on her back.

It was one of the strangest things she had ever been through, being tied up to a bed, snuggled with her captor. Orenwen decided to roll over to help wake him and get his arm off of her. 

As soon as Orenwen moved, he pulled her in tighter. She breathed a sigh of annoyance and tried to push him again. It only served to tighten his hold on her. She was beginning to think he was playing with her once more, but she craned her neck to see he looked to be quite asleep still. 

“Alright, get off of me, you big oaf!” she demanded loud enough so he could hear her.

Kaidan grunted in her back, too comfortable and not ready to get up. “Five more minutes,” he grumbled, pulling her in tight once more.

She didn’t feel the smile on her back as she moaned in annoyance. “Get...up!” she said a little louder, trying to shove the man off of her. When he still wouldn’t move, she took the heel of her foot and slammed it on his shin.

“Ow! OK, OK...I’m up. I’m up. Jeez, you didn’t have to kick me.”

“I did since you seem to be deriving a sick pleasure in humiliating me!”

“No, I wasn’t. I just didn't want to get up yet,” Kaidan yawned loudly, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes with one free hand.

“Right, then why was your arm draped around me?”

“I don’t know. You’re the one who rolled over in the night.”

Kaidan sat up and untied their hands and stretched, yawning again. “Did you sleep better then?”

“I...yes, I did,” she answered, not wanting to admit the truth, but the words slipped out nonetheless.

“Good, so did I, since you didn’t ask,” he replied with a good-natured twinkle in his almond-shaped eyes. 

“You sure are in a good mood this morning,” she said in mocked annoyance, though she knew his excellent mood would be suitable for her as well.

“Yeah, well, that’s what happens when I get my…”

“Don’t! I do _not_ want to hear it! Disgusting.”

“Sex is not disgusting. You should try it sometime,” Kaidan retorted.

Orenwen scoffed at the Akaviri. “What? With you? As if…” 

“I don’t know...you might actually enjoy yourself, _Thalmor_. Maybe it might put a ding in that armor of yours.”

“Urgh!”

“Well, not to change the subject from sex, because it _is_ a great topic, but I thought you might enjoy a bath this morning.”

“What? Really?” Orenwen asked, her face went from disgust to delightful surprise in mere seconds. Then her face went from shock to suspicion, narrowing her golden eyes at him. “Wait, you’re not suggesting I...we…”

“To use your ‘articulate’ words...‘as if.’ No, you may take one alone.”

“Why?” she asked, as her suspicion grew.

“Or not. It’s your choice. You want to continue to stink like a draugr, who am I to judge,” Kaidan said, walking away, pretending to leave the room.

“Wait!” she yelled out.

Kaidan paused his hand at the door and smirked. Turning around, he grabbed his tunic off the floor and put it back on, then walked over to Orenwen to untie her other hand. 

“I may be in a better mood now since I had some release, and I wasn’t tortured by you all by sheer luck, but do not take this as I am slacking or that you can take advantage of it. Remember what I said before, I will not hesitate to defend myself and if that means your death, then so be it. I hope you won’t force me into that position because I do not want to kill you. Do you understand?”

Orenwen nodded.

“Good. Now when we get to the baths, I will remove all our bindings, even the ones keeping your fingers curled. Again, do not take advantage of me. When you get into the bath, you will strip down and throw me your clothes. I will hold on to them until you are done unless you don’t mind escaping in the frigid temperatures naked.”

“But…”

“But, nothing. I will not see you. You will have a private bath. When you’re done, we will get some breakfast, yes?”

“Very well,” she agreed, but he couldn’t stop her from coming up with ways to escape in her head.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Orenwen has her own demands.


	5. Some Semblance of Normalcy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan starts easing up on Orenwen already catering to her demands, wondering what he got himself into dragging her along.

Orenwen’s arm reached outside the door, dangling her hated farmer’s dress and the shift she tore when she first entrapped the Akaviri, hiding her nude body behind the door. She could feel the man grab her belongings, then she threw out her boots and socks. 

She slunk into the warm waters infused with lavender with an exaggerated sigh, not caring if he could hear. The bath wasn’t nearly as lovely as they were in the Summerset Isles or her aunt’s home, but it was the best thing she had in a long while, usually washing up in the freezing waters of Skyrim. She draped her arms over the edge of the washbasin, leaned back her head, letting her long blonde hair cascade behind her. The heat and steam penetrated her tired and sore muscles.

She would have to find a way to replace the makeup she lost. She missed her kohl for her eyes, loving the darkness, which made the gold in her eyes pop. She used to also have a wonderful snowberry and beeswax lip balm that tinted her lips red. Everything she owned was back at the destroyed prison. Now her lips were as crusty as a draugrs. The thought left her in disgust. She wasn’t used to living as a peasant.

Orenwen ticked off a list in her head of all the things she needed to replace, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized she wouldn’t be able to. If the man set her free, which was doubtful, she had no money to get back to her aunt or buy real necessities like food. She could hunt and take care of herself, but traveling all the way back near Solitude on foot wasn’t going to be possible by herself.

Any thoughts of escape went out the window, realizing she was reliant on the Akaviri. Unless, of course, she could knock him out somehow and steal his coins. It was bad enough to be his prisoner, but even if he let her go, she was still bound to him. She could go back to the prison where her things were located, but she doubted she would find it, probably all buried under a pile of rubble.

Grunting in irritation, she lathered the cloth with the soap and ran it over her skin to wash off all the grime and sweat from the past week. Orenwen felt disgusting, and she wasn’t looking forward to putting on her old clothes, but she tried not to think about such things as she enjoyed her bath. Rubbing soap lathered hands along her long legs, she made a noise of disgust at the prickling hair on them. She would also have to do something about that. She loathed body hair on her.

Orenwen didn’t know how long she was allowed to soak, but she was going to take as much time as he would allow or until he told her to get out. She knew he was in a better mood, but wondered why he allowed this. Orenwen didn’t want to question it, but perhaps he was telling her the truth that he didn’t want to hurt her. If she were honest and the roles were reversed, she knew she would be angry too if someone tried to kill her, especially now knowing she wouldn’t be able to handle torture. He didn’t even torture her; in fact, he let her heal broken legs, and she still wept like a pathetic child, disgusted with herself over it.

Once Orenwen was satisfied, she was sufficiently clean, she washed her hair and rinsed. The water was getting cold, but she still wasn’t ready to get out. Her hand lit up with the low-level fire spell to warm up the water again, and she leaned back once more to soak, not caring that her skin was starting to prune.

There was a light tap on the bath door. “Hello?” queried her captor. “I’m getting hungry out here...and bored.”

_I bet you are and as if I care_. “Almost done,” Orenwen singsonged. 

Despite her lackadaisical attitude, she climbed out of the tub and dried off. She weaved a braid through the top of her head and pulled it all back into a high ponytail. With nothing to tie it, she used her own hair, then pulled the long flowing strands around her shoulder. She didn’t have a brush, but she did her best to get out the tangles with long fingers.

Opening the door, she held out her hand and wiggled her fingers as Kaidan passed her her clothes. When she came out, she was brushing the wrinkles out of the skirt of her dress, not noticing Kaidan staring at her. 

She looked so different with her hair up and out of her face. With all the grime out of it, her ashen blonde hair looked almost white. All the dirt off her gold skin made it almost glow. Kaidan was reminded of how beautiful she was.

Orenwen looked up to his not-so-subtle coughing and stares. “What?”

“Nothing. Are you ready to eat yet, or are you getting back at me through starvation?”

“Oh, nothing of the sort. I enjoyed my bath is all, and I am quite famished myself,” she replied back to her haughty attitude.

Kaidan reached for her to bind her hands in cloth once more, but she balked and stepped back, tired of being tied up. “Please, I’m so tired of being tied up. I promise...”

“I know you are. I’m sorry, but I still don’t trust you.”

She held her hands up, palms facing outward. “I could blast you right now, you know.” 

“Go ahead then. Let’s see how far you get out of Windhelm.” He could see the resignation in her eyes, starting to water, almost feeling sorry for her. “Look, give me a reason to trust, and I will untie you,” the Akaviri promised.

Orenwen reluctantly held out her hands as he bound them in the cloth. When he was done, he led her out to the tavern part of the inn and ordered them two breakfasts of eggs, cheese, and bread with tea.

Once again, Kaidan had an arm wrapped around her shoulder, feeding her breakfast as everyone stared at the invalid Altmer and her strange-looking husband. And like last time, he periodically kissed her on the cheek and gave her sidelong glances of love to show the Nords they were together and to leave them alone, that she was hands-off.

Orenwen watched him pick up a piece of bread to feed her. She could tell he was going to peck at her once more, getting tired of it, deciding to turn the tables on him. 

Kaidan reached over to give Orenwen a peck on the cheek, looking out at the crowd, keeping a watchful eye. As soon as his lips pressed to her, his eyes quickly darted to her face. Her golden eyes facing him, glinting in amusement, realizing his lips were pressed to hers. The kiss was no different had he been kissing the wall, but her lips were much softer.

He quickly pulled away and coughed nervously, feeling the heat burn in his face. Kaidan could hear the Altmer woman giggling under her breath at his discomfort. 

“Maybe you should pay more attention to whom you are kissing,” she instructed with an air of self-righteousness laced with humor.

“You did that on purpose.”

“Indeed. I thought that was quite obvious,” the Altmer replied, still amused. “Besides, you deserved it for kissing me so.”

Orenwen’s snickering at his expense died down, and Kaidan stopped pecking her like a hen on her cheek, which had the desired result. Sitting up straight, head held high, it was clear she was quite pleased with herself.

“Well, now that we have shared a bed and a kiss, perhaps you could finally tell me your name, Akaviri.”

Kaidan looked at her, suddenly wary. “Why? It is the last thing I want to give to the Thalmor,” he whispered so none of the Nords could hear, eying the crowd once more.

“If they find you, they will not care about your name one way or the other. Suit yourself then, _Akaviri,_ ” she shrugged.

He thought about it and decided it didn’t matter one way or the other. She was right that if he were caught, they would not care. It wasn’t as if he gave his name freely wherever he went anyway. “Fine. I’m Kaidan.”

“Kaidan,” she said the name as if tasting a new wine on her tongue. “Very Akaviri indeed. So, what…”

“No more questions,” he ordered.

“Very well,” she replied indifferently. “I will not ask any question about you, but I would like to ask a question about me.”

Kaidan looked at her, eyebrows raised, waiting for her to get on with it.

“Right, well, if I am to be forced to tag along, I need some things.”

“What kind of things?” he asked blandly.

“Oh, nothing much...just some necessities.”

“Can you be more specific?”

“Yes. I need some potions for my moon cycle…”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Kaidan interrupted.

“You do not have a choice, Kaidan,” Orenwen explained, using his name deliberately. “Women _bleed_ , and it is coming soon whether you choose to ignore it or not. The potions I need will stop it for a while.”

“This is going to cost me, isn’t it?” he groaned.

“Well, potions are not free, certainly, and I clearly do not have any money, but I have a…” Orenwen was going to offer the necklace to him in exchange for coin, but the sentimental value was too high.

“What?”

“A necklace and it is quite valuable, but, well, it was my mother’s, and I hate to part with it.”

“I’m sure your mother can afford a new one. Aren’t all you High Elves rich?”

“No, not all Altmer are wealthy. Regardless, my mother is dead.”

“Oh,” Kaidan responded weakly, not knowing what else to say. “I’m sorry…,” he mumbled.

Orenwen waved her covered hand indifferently, not wanting to talk about it. The death of her parents had always been a sore spot for her. They were killed by bandits and left her to be raised by her aunt. While she was well off and had almost all she needed, love wasn’t part of the equation.

“Is that all?” he asked. Kaidan could see a flicker of sadness on the Altmer’s face, though she tried to hide it.

“No, certainly not. I need some kohl for my eyes, some snowberry beeswax for my chapped lips, a hairbrush to brush out this skeever’s nest in my hair, a razor for all my unwanted body hair, some…”

“Now hold on. I cannot afford all that. It’s not like I’m crawling in Septim here. You can make do without damned makeup. You look… Anyway, as for a brush, I have a comb I use on my hair. You can use that.”

“Yes, well, you did spend quite a bit last night, I am sure, which would explain your barren coin purse.”

Kaidan chose to ignore that remark. It was his money to use it as he pleased, after all.

Orenwen sighed, not surprised that he wouldn’t purchase such things, but she had to try and maintain some semblance of normalcy. “Fine, but I do need some other necessities besides the potions. I need to replace my...uhm, smalls. I cannot keep wearing the same thing forever. It is...disgusting.” She scrunched up her nose to prove her point.

Kaidan was beginning to wonder if this female elf was intentionally trying to embarrass him. Between the kiss, the potions, and now smalls, he couldn’t control the fire creeping to his face and ears. “OK, OK. I get it. Anything else, your highness?”

“Now that you asked, a warm cloak would be nice.”

“You can keep wearing mine for now. I’m fine in the cold.”

The Altmer woman must have come from money to have so many needs. Private ones he understood, but all that makeup and razors? Who was she trying to impress? Kaidan didn’t realize that some women enjoyed looking good and feeling good that didn’t revolve around pleasing men.

After breakfast, Kaidan chose not to put a knife at her back and hoped she would cooperate as they made their way through the cold city of stone, the morning blustery. Kaidan had to ask around to where they could purchase potions. Apparently, The White Phial was the place to go for anything involving alchemy.

Before going in, Kaidan had to address the High Elf. “We are going to buy you some potions, and you will tell them exactly what you need and _only_ what you need. Are we clear?”

“Crystal.”

“Good, let’s go.”

As soon as they entered the alchemy shop, they could hear two men arguing.

"I'll be fine,” the old man insisted.

"Master, you're far too old for this sort of journey. We don't know what's inside…," the Imperial man begged.

"I'll... I can... just..." Violent coughing ensued from the older Altmer.

"You see, you're not well! Have a seat, and I'll fetch you some tonic."

"Bah! If there was a tonic that could help me, I would have found it by now..."

Kaidan coughed in his fist to get their attention.

“Oh, sorry, didn’t see you there,” said the old Altmer in between fits of coughing.

“Yes, uhm, my wife here needs some potions. I will have her tell you what she needs exactly.”

“Ah, a fellow Altmer. Don’t see many of us around here in Windhelm, do we?”

Orenwen gave a slight bow to her head. “Indeed. Yes, I need some potions to pause a woman’s moon cycle for a while.”

“Yes, yes. I have just the thing.” The old man hobbled, still coughing as he shoved bottles of assorted sizes, shapes, and colors until he came across what he was looking for. “Here you are.”

Orenwen opened a bottle and sniffed the contents, ensuring it was the same one she was looking for and nodded in satisfaction. “This will do.”

“So, an Altmer and a...what are you, son? You don’t see many Altmer marrying outside of their own kind.”

“Mind your business, old man,” Orenwen ordered, and Kaidan tried not to look at her in surprise expecting her to give off hints she was being held against her will.

The old man just grunted in response. “That will be 360 Septims for two,” he calculated.

“360, what?!” Kaidan almost shouted out, in shock at the steep price.

“I make the best, and they come at a price. You want them or not?”

‘Yes…” Orenwen interjected.

“275 Septims,” Kaidan countered.

“340.”

Instead of countering, Kaidan wondered if he could do a favor on top of giving him his remaining coin. He only had 300 and didn’t want to get rid of it all on two bottles of potions. “So, what were you and your assistant arguing about?” he asked, changing the subject.

"Just a man's life work is all. I've finally derived the location of the White Phial, but this doting busybody won't let me get it,” the old Altmer replied, giving his assistant a withering stare.

“I guess I could get it for you,” Kaidan offered.

"You would do that? It's good to know there are some people out there who are willing to help an old man.”

“Well, not for free, I won’t. I will give you 200 Septim and do your quest for both bottles. Will that be worth something to you?”

The old man grunted in acknowledgment. “Fine. It's buried with its maker, Curalmil, in a long forsaken cave to the west of here. Curalmil was a crafty one, even in death. You would need the skills of a master alchemist to reach his resting place. Luckily for you, I've already made the mixture. Here, take it. Please... don't dally. I've wasted enough time arguing with my useless assistant here. I will hold on to one potion, and you can take the other. You will get it when you return."

Kaidan nodded and placed the mixture and the one potions in his pack, then handed over his payment. “I will do it as quickly as I can.”

“Now I get to do quests with you? You do realize how difficult it will be with me tied up and you traipsing about Skyrim doing favors for old Altmer men,” Orenwen said as they left The White Phial.

“I’m aware, but I didn’t have enough to buy your potions. I have to do this ‘quest’ for old men...for you.”

“Oh, yes, well, I see your point.”

“Good. At least it is on the way to where I need to be anyway.”

“What about my...other necessities?”

“Well, that is why I needed to save my coin, your highness. After that, I’m going to have to find work to recoup my losses.”

“If you didn’t bother last night with that…”

“It’s my money!”

“Fair point,” Orenwen conceded.

After standing in the middle of the market awkwardly in silence, she asked what his plan was. 

“First, get you a pair of...you know. Then there is a place I need to visit, you don’t need to know which is on the way. After which, we will go to the Forsaken Cave to get that phial, then come back and get your other potion.”

“Sounds exciting,” she responded blandly.

“You asked…”

After purchasing one pair of smalls for her, they left Windhelm. Mundus was out, and the day was warming up, as it should, being Last Seed. The snow was melting, turning to slush as Kaidan and Orenwen headed out of Windhelm and West towards their destination.

Once they reached outside of town, Kaidan tried to tie her hands behind her back once more. Yet again, she balked. “Please…”

Kaidan looked at her and was starting to take pity, seeing her pleading eyes. In the back of his mind, he didn’t trust her. He thought her reactions to be a ploy and kill him, but he couldn’t get past how genuine her fear was.

“I’ll tell you what. Your hands stay bound in their cloth, but I will tie one hand to mine. That way, you won’t have to be dragged by a rope. Does that suit you?”

“No, but it is better than the alternative.”

Once their hands were tied together, they walked towards the dragon burial site hand-in-hand. A casual glance from anyone else would see a couple holding hands. 

“It is going to be hard to wield a sword if we come across trouble, you know,” Kaidan informed her.

“I am sure you will make due in all your warrior greatness,” she replied flatly.

Kaidan heard her jab, but he ignored it. “Yes, I am pretty great, aren’t I.”

“Urgh...nothing like an over-inflated ego.”

After walking for a few miles in silence, she tried to find out what they were doing and where they were going. “How far do we have to walk in this slushy mud?”

“According to my map, we should reach there by early afternoon, if we don’t stop.”

“Wonderful. Then what? Where are we going exactly?”

“Exactly? We are going to a dragon burial site.”

“Fascinated by dragons, are you? Are they not frightening enough without having to dig up their bones?”

“We aren’t digging for bones.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! Comments/criticisms welcome.
> 
> Next: Akaviri discoveries and big troubles


	6. Treasures and Bandits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan finally and unexpectedly finds answers to his past. He is then forced to make a choice on whether or not to let Orenwen go free.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! Would love to read what you think.

Kaidan and Orenwen passed the lumber mill in the early afternoon. It was bright and warm outside, no need for cloaks. The thundering noise of the large trees dropping to be sawn was deafening.

Kaidan stopped to look at his map, his tied arm digging in his bag, and unfolding the paper forced Orenwen into some form of strange dance since her body was tied to his movements.

“Will you please stop thrashing me about like some rag doll!”

“Sorry,” he mumbled automatically, not paying attention. “It looks like the burial mound should be right over this hill. We are very close!”

Putting back his map, much to Orenwen’s annoyance, they started to climb the hill, which wasn’t easy in the slick mud, not having dried after the snow melted. 

“So much for bathing,” she complained under her breath as she kept slipping on the slick slope. Suddenly she was yanked up by her hand and lifted to the top.

“There it is!” Kaidan yelled out excitedly. “Come on!”

When they reached the burial mound, Kaidan walked in circles around it, not knowing what he was looking for. When he and the Dragonborn were at Northwind Summit, there was a hiding spot with a written clue, so he looked around for something similar, but there was nothing. The burial mound was surrounded by stone, melted snow, some grass, and trees. Nothing was hidden that he could find and growled in frustration.

“Perhaps if you told me what you were looking for, I could help.”

Kaidan scoffed, but it was directed more at himself. “If I knew what I was looking for, that might help.”

“You mean you are circling around like a dog trying to get comfortable in its bed, not knowing what you are even looking for?”

“No!” he barked. “The clues all led to here, it never said what to look for.”

“I see. Perhaps you are missing the obvious location,” Orenwen suggested.

Kaidan looked at her strangely, encouraging her to go on. “You and Minna, so full of riddles.”

“Who is Minna? Whatever, I do not care...it is not a riddle. What I mean is the most likely place you want to look is within the burial mound itself.”

“You mean...it’s buried?”

“Precisely.”

“I don’t have a shovel,” Kaidan sighed, stating the obvious.

“I guess you’re just going to have to use your hands then,” Orenwen suggested.

“Right because you want an excuse not to be tied to me.”

Orenwen stiffened, lifting up her chin to him. “No, please, I love being tied to you. Why would I ever dream of being set loose?! Regardless, you still need to dig.”

Kaidan ignored her sarcasm. “Come on, help me dig, then.”

Orenwen looked at Kaidan as if he had lost his mind. “You want me to dig? In the dirt?” she scoffed. “Need I remind you that I just bathed. I am not a rooting animal who rolls around in filth, unlike your Nord kin.”

“The Nords are not my kin…”

“You are a human…”

“Anyway, I have to dig, and you are tied to me, so you might as well help.” When Orenwen wouldn’t budge, he made her an offer. “Tell you what, when we get back to Windhelm, I will pay for another bath for you.”

“Urgh, fine,” she said, only agreeing because she knew she had no choice in the matter once he started digging.

It took a good hour to dig through as the mound was quite large, large enough to hold a dragon. Using broken stones as tools, they finally manage to hit something hard under the packed earth. 

“There!” Kaidan shouted excitedly.

Orenwen wasn’t nearly as happy as Kaidan was being covered in filth, looking worse than she did before her bath back in Windhelm. “This better not be bone after all that.”

“We will find out.”

After a bit of clearing away of soil, Kaidan managed to pull out an old and weathered chest. It must have been in there for a while as the wood was starting to rot, and the metal lock rusted. He wasted no time in trying to open it as he slipped a dagger through the lock and pried the weakened and rusted metal open.

Once the chest was open, even Orenwen was curious about what was inside as she peeked next to Kaidan. “Too bad it is not full of gold, but it looks like some valuable things are in there,” she noted.

Kaidan was less interested in the treasures as he was the scroll lying on the bottom, underneath an unusual shield. It was worn and covered in spots of mold, but as he opened it, he could see it was still legible.

_My Beloved son, Kaidan,_

_If the Gods allow it, I will be standing at your side when you uncover these heirlooms, but with events unraveling as they are, I’ve come to understand this may never be. I realize now I may be writing my last words to you._

_As your father used to say, ‘prepare for the worst and hope for the best.’_

_Like some of the other surviving Akaviri, our bloodline was charged with preserving and protecting what relics and information we have left. Until the Last Dragonborn arrived, and the Dragonguard could return to their true purpose. What you find here are some of the treasures; guard them and use their power to protect yourself in turn. I have left more in the world for you and have faith that if you discover these, you will find the rest._

_At this moment in time, I cannot predict what else is safe to write or how much you know of your family and clan. I have faith that if the worst should happen, Tarben or Brynjar will protect you as they have promised me. I will leave you instead with something else you must know, above all else._

_You have been the light of my life, my child. As I write this, I hold you sleeping in my lap, so small and new, yet even now, I see shades of the man you will become. Even if my worst fears are realized, and I cannot be there to raise you, do not ever doubt how much you are loved, or how proud I am to be your mother._

_For some nights now, I have dreamt of you, not as the infant in my arms, but as a grown man. You walk over snow and ice in the darkest night when the sun finally rises and turns the sky to fire, and dragons soar from the horizon. I cannot help thinking that as the era – and the Empire spirals to its end, you will be there to see the great rebirth from the ashes._

_You may be the last of our clan alive to see it._

_I close this letter now with desperate hope it is not the end._

_With all the love in my heart,_

_Mei_

Kaidan let the scroll fall from his hands as it rolled back up as if desperate to be out of its flattened state. He sat there quietly, unsure of how to react and feel. The last thing he was expecting was to find a letter from his mother. The only thing he expected to find was another clue, not answers. He should have felt rejoiceful, but instead, he only felt emptiness. Soon that emptiness gave way to sadness, realizing how much he missed in his life, missing the mother he never knew, and a love he never had a chance to feel.

Orenwen watched Kaidan in his excitement at finding the treasure and saw his face turn into one of sadness as a couple of stray tears fell down his face. There must have been something in that scroll to upset him, finding herself feeling strangely empathetic towards the large man. Orenwen remained quiet, not wanting to disturb whatever it was he was going through.

Abruptly, Kaidan pulled out the treasures, strapped the shield to his back, and shoved the rest of the contents into his bag, slamming the lid shut. He stood up so fast, Orenwan was pulled upward, almost falling down again as she lost her balance. He absent-mindedly steadied her and dragged her to a clearing nearby.

He untied their hands and wrapped her hand to a thin tree so he could focus on setting up camp. 

Orenwen stood there watching the man push back emotions as he focused on the task at hand, setting up the tent, building a fire, laying out the bedroll. He stood in front of the fire lost in thought then pulled out the parchment once more, rereading it. His face was a mask of nothingness, his earlier sadness gone.

Kaidan sighed, still unable to figure out how to handle his recent discovery. He went back to Orenwen and untied her from the tree and tied their hands together once more. He forced her to sit down in front of the fire, him joining her as he sat moodily, staring at nothing.

“You seem...bothered by your new discovery.”

“Is it that obvious?” he mumbled sarcastically.

She ignored the barb, “Do you want to talk about it?” As soon as the question came out of her mouth, she was wondering why she even cared. Perhaps it was more out of curiosity than anything— _lie_. 

“Oh, that’s classic coming from a _Thalmor_. You would love to know, wouldn’t you? Use it against me. You’ll escape and bring the Thalmor down upon me with new information to use in my torture and inevitable demise.” 

Any thoughts that they were establishing some sort of tentative respect for each other quickly disappeared from his bitter comment. Orenwen didn’t blame him for mistrusting her. She didn’t trust him either.

“Fine, do not tell me. What do I care?” Her reaction was one of haughty indifference, but she really wanted to know what was in that letter that changed him so quickly. The emotion was strong enough to bring about tears.

Digging in his bag once more, he pulled out some dried meats he purchased that morning with his remaining coin and two apples. Pressing the apple to her lips, Orenwen took a bite of the sweet and tart fruit.

“The letter was from my mother,” Kaidan finally said.

“I see…”

“Do you? How could you possibly see or understand, _Thalmor_?” He almost yelled, shoving the apple in her face once more as she took a bite.

“It waf merery my way ov probbing you fo confinue,” she said with her mouth full. Swallowing the apple, she continued. “Besides, I am assuming she died; otherwise, you would not have been so upset. I lost both of my parents when I was a child. I do know something about loss.”

Kaidan nodded, “I suppose you do. I never knew her. My mission was a quest to find out about my ancestry, and I honestly didn’t expect to find a letter from my mother. It was...a shock, to say the least.

This sword on my back was hers, the only thing I have to remind me of her. It was also the very thing that forced the Thalmor to ambush and torture me. I didn’t have the answers, but they thought I did. No amount of torture was going to change that, but they didn’t care. I am beginning to think they just relish in torturing those who are not their own.”

Kaidan didn’t understand why he just explained all that to her, his enemy. Perhaps he wanted her to see why he was angry and hateful towards the Thalmor— _Be honest, you are telling her to change her views._

“The Thalmor took you for your sword? Why would they have such interest in a sword?”

He looked at the elf woman to see if she was telling the truth that she didn’t really know why they took him. Seeing only curiosity in her eyes, he explained. “I think I’ve pieced the clues together. Between the dossier found on my people and my mother’s letter, it would seem the Akaviri were part of the Dragonguard, to protect the Emperor and hunt dragons. They were hunted and all killed...by your people. All of them... they are all dead! My father! My mother! My people! All gone because of you! Fucking Thalmor and your desire to shape the world as only _you_ see fit, not caring who suffers along the way! This is why everyone else hates your people!”

Kaidan hadn’t meant for the outburst, but the more he explained to her the angrier he became. He knew she wasn’t directly involved, but she was still the enemy, no matter her involvement or not. The High Elf woman chose to be a Thalmor. _‘High Elf,’ even that is an insult to the rest of the world. An indication of the status they have placed on themselves._

Orenwen’s stomach turned, and she couldn’t explain why. A knot that tightened with the thought that her people were responsible for genocide. She read stories while in training that the Akaviri, who were mostly part of the Dragonguard for the emperor in Tamriel. Eventually, they evolved into the Blades, who were the mortal enemies of the Thalmor. It was something she never questioned, but she didn’t know that her people were successful in killing them all— _all except one_. No wonder the Thalmor wanted him so much and to torture him. Orenwen knew that Kaidan knew nothing of his people. All of his torture was for naught. 

“I...I didn’t know we were successful. While I was in training, the Blades, thus the Dragonguard, were our enemy. They started spying on us and trying to infiltrate our ranks during the war. After the White-Gold Concordat, it was agreed that they were disbanded. They are also worshipers of Talos. We have to stop the Talos worship at all costs…”

“Horker shit!” Kaidan spat. “By the Gods, you are so blind. Your indoctrination has left you ignorant of the truth!”

“Then why do you not educate me, oh, mighty one! How am I wrong? You, one man, one Akavir, who has a reason to hate the Thalmor would know oh so much more than I? I have my books and knowledge, and all you have is your pain and bias. While I feel for what you went through, it still does not make you an expert on my people!”

It was Orenwen’s turn to be angry as she folded her arms angrily, yanking Kaidan into her. When she couldn’t even get mad the way she wished only sent to drive up her ire. “And I am tired of being tied up!”

“Tough! I still don’t trust you. And you are no expert on your people either. The Thalmor make sure of that. Your only knowledge is what they want you to know. Gods forbid you question anything.”

“Whatever...fine!”

“Fine!”

Kaidan yanked her and tied her other hand to his one. Now she was utterly bound to him so he could sleep without worrying about her running off.

Orenwen was tired of being tied up, but at least he didn’t rope her to a tree this time and that she got to sleep in the tent and be relatively warm as he draped the blanket over them.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was well into the night when Orenwen was startled awake. She groaned inwardly when she realized she had pulled Kaidan into her once more, and he was snuggling against her. _For the love of Auri-El!_ Orenwen was about to shove the man off of her, but whatever woke her, she heard it again with her keen hearing. _Someone is coming_.

Orenwen started shaking Kaidan, moving her hands back and forth to wake him while not alerting whoever was coming. “Kaidan,” she whispered shuddering.

“Hmmm,” he mumbled, snuggling in against her back.

“Urgh...Akavir,” she whispered louder. “Wake up.”

“It’s not even morning yet.”

“Clearly, but we might have a problem.”

“What?”

“I heard…”

“Well, well, well...look what we have here. What a cozy little camp,” said a gruff voice approaching their tent. “Come on out...slowly.”

Kaidan cursed that he was tied up to Orenwen. He had no choice. He was going to have to cut her loose. Taking his dagger, he cut her ropes and the bindings around her hands. He could see her face was a mask of confusion, wondering why he was letting her loose.

“I’m waiting,” said the stranger.

“Yep, getting pants...coming.”

“As soon as I get out there, you go under the tent and run. You’re free...just...don’t come back to kill me please,” Kaidan whispered.

“But…”

“Go!” he ordered as he rolled out of the tent, hands raised, but his dagger was tucked away in his back.

“What do you want?” Kaidan asked the stranger and counted all the bandits in his head that he could see— _six_. There was enough light from the dying fire to know the man was older but well-built. He would be strong if Kaidan had to fight him. He had scars on his face from a harsh life, his blonde hair was mostly gray.

“That depends on whatcha got.”

“I have hardly any coin, but you’re welcome to it,” Kaidan offered, hoping that was all the bandits wanted.

“Oh, I think you have more than that. We were just passin’ by earlier today and saw you and a lovely Altmer diggin’ away for buried treasure. I know you found something. Where is that lovely elf, anyway? My boys here are bored.”

Kaidan cursed under his breath. He had hoped she would go unnoticed. “Gone. We had a marital spat, and she left me. Back to Winterhold and to her mother,” Kaidan easily lied.

“Tsk, too bad. She looked delicious.”

Kaidan had to control his anger and stay calm. If he didn’t get control, he would make a mistake, and mistakes lead to death. He didn’t like the woman, but he didn’t want her raped either. Looking around once more, it looked like there were no archers, much to his relief. It would be hard enough to fight six men with swords, let alone being shot at with arrows.

“Now, I want you to keep your hands raised, while my friend over there ties you up. We want what you found today,” ordered the bandit leader.

_Breathe, Kai. Focus._ A balding Nord, almost as big as Kaidan approached him carrying rope in his hand, followed by a smaller Dunmer, dagger in hand. As soon as the Nord reached for Kaidan’s hand, lightning-quick, he pulled his blade out of the back of his pants and sliced the Nord’s throat in one short cut in the jugular, knowing the man would quickly bleed out. The Dunmer had not registered what happened and paid dearly for it as he too found himself trying to stem the flow of blood spurting out of his neck.

Kaidan could hear the leader yell out ‘get him’ as the four remaining bandits came at him, swords drawn. Kaidan threw his dagger, landing in one of the bandit’s chest. It didn’t kill him, but it took him out of commission.

Rolling on the ground into the tent, took a quick and relieving note, Orenwen was gone, grabbed his sword as he rolled back out, unsheathing his it as soon as he stood. Swinging his two-handed curved Nodachi in graceful arcs paying close attention to the men circling him. 

“You’re dead, bastard,” yelled out the bandit leader.

Kaidan stood his ground and in his stance when the first bandit lunged at him, swords clashing. The one-handed sword was no match for the two-handed Nodachi as the metal on metal reverberated through clenched hands. It took one graceful swing to slice the man open, entrails spilling out to the ground before Kaidan had to block an incoming sword from the other bandit only to see the leader lunge at him at the same time. 

With a swift kick, Kaidan sent the bandit staggering back as he was once more on the defensive, blocking the attack from the leader who was nearly as strong as Kaidan. Once the other bandit recovered, Kaidan had to cut and repeatedly block back and forth between his two attackers. In the back of his mind, he reminded himself a third bandit was down, but not dead.

He could feel a stinging sensation on his arm, cursing he wasn’t wearing armor, but he couldn’t look at the damage at the moment. With a spin of his sword, he took out the other bandit, head rolling off the shoulders, leaving him and the leader, who took the opportunity to slice at Kaidan’s abdomen, which he left open. It wasn’t enough to kill Kaidan, but it hurt all the same.

Bleeding from his arm and stomach, he pushed back the blood and pain and readied himself against his last opponent as they cut up and down, blocked, hacked, trying to find any opening. Kaidan’s last swing knocked the sword out of the other man’s hand, leaving him in shock. Before Kaidan could lob his head off, he was shot twice with arrows in his shoulder and thigh, staggering him. It didn’t stop him as he lunged one more time at the leader as another arrow hit in his stomach. The loss of blood from his wounds and the pain, he collapsed to his knees. The leader, too pissed to kill the larger man, wanting to torture him for later, picked up his sword and knocked Kaidan out with the pommel.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Enemies to reluctant partners.


	7. Liberations and Phials

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan is rescued once again by Orenwen, but he wonders a bit if he wouldn't be better off dead :). They form a tentative alliance to get the White Phial together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

Orenwen quickly rolled out from under the tent, shocked that Kaidan let her go just to save her life. He could have easily killed her so he could fight or let the bandits have her. Instead, he chose to free her. Running and scrambling out of sight, she found herself stopping behind a tree to watch the large Akaviri swinging his sword like an expert, clearly more knowledgeable about sword-fighting than the bandits. That was until he was one on one with the bandit leader. Kaidan almost defeated him until the hidden archer shot at him. She wanted to run, but her feet refused to move.

She was shocked to still see him standing after being cut twice and three arrows placed in him. Hand to her mouth, she was uncertain what to do. Part of her wanted to just run as she was told, but she couldn’t just leave him there to die, possibly tortured once more. Orenwen had been his prisoner, but he had taken relatively good care of her, keeping her fed with needed potions, clean and warm. She knew he was starting to ease up on keeping her tied. Deep down, she didn’t believe he meant to harm her, and her beliefs were proven true when he just let her go so she wouldn’t be in danger from the bandits.

Cursing herself, wishing she didn’t care, she ran out and blasted the bandit leader with a fireball, sending his body flying twenty feet back, body slamming against a tree, killing him. Sparks replaced fire in her hands, palms out as a lightning chain burned the stabbed bandit from the inside out. Arrows fired at her, and not knowing where the archer was hiding, she used her detect life spell. _There you are, you bastard._ Her ice spike pierced his chest as he crashed to the ground dead.

Orenwen rushed back to Kaidan and checked for a pulse, unsure if he was still living but finding a heartbeat, surprised he was still alive between the head-bashing, three arrows and bleeding out— _he is tough for a big oaf._ Not even bothering to move him, she used healing hands to repair the damage in his head first. She may have been able to stop the bleeding, but head wounds could cause irreparable damage if not treated quickly. Satisfied his head was healed, she worked on closing the open wounds on his shoulder and stomach. 

It didn’t take long for Kaidan to come to, once his head was healed. He groaned in pain, and he tried to sit up.

“Stop moving, you human mammoth. I have treated your head and sword wounds, but I still have to remove the arrows before I can heal those.”

“Why…?”

“Shut up and bite on this,” she said, interrupting him, not wanting to explain why she was back and shoved his belt she removed from his pants into his mouth. She yanked out the arrow in the most dangerous location in his stomach. Kaidan’s scream was muffled from the leather as he eyed her evilly. “Sanks sor se wanin,” he mumbled through the leather.

“What? I cannot hear you,” she singsonged, healing his stomach. “Fine, you want a warning?” When he nodded, she yanked out the next arrow from his leg, leaving him screaming once more. “Tough. It hurts less when you do not know it is coming.” 

“Ur endoyin dis!”

“I have to admit, I am,” she smiled prettily as she treated his open wound in his thigh. 

The last arrow was protruding out of his shoulder. She was scrutinizing it, knowing it was too close to a main artery. Orenwen would just have to keep doing what she was doing and hoped she could close the wound before he bled out. Kaidan could hardly spare much more. 

Yanking out the last arrow, Kaidan screamed for the last time, spitting out his belt. “You’re a sadist, woman!” he shouted but settled down as the last wound was healed. 

Orenwen cocked an eyebrow at the man. “Are you implying that I derive sexual pleasure from your pain? You _must_ be joking. Though I do have to admit watching you squirm has been a tad enjoyable,” she confessed. “You are lucky that one did not kill you. It was very close to one of your main arteries.”

“Yeah, well...thanks,” he mumbled. 

Orenwen cupped a hand to her ear, “What was that? A ‘thank you?’ I could not have possibly heard correctly.”

“Thank you!” Kaidan yelled reluctantly.

“You are quite welcome. But if you had not let me go, I would not have been able to do anything, so thank you for that.”

Kaidan watched Orenwen busy herself lighting the fire again and sat down in front of it to get warm. They were both tired but needed to unwind after that fiasco, adrenaline not entirely depleted. 

“I suppose we should do something with the bodies. We would not want to get eaten alive by ferocious, wild animals after all that,” she suggested.

“Give me a moment...still hurting in places, and I need to rest for a bit.”

“No rush. I am sure the wild animals will be content to wait until you are well-rested.”

Kaidan rewarded Orenwen with a sour look as she waved fingers at him, pleased with herself that she could torment him in return.

He grunted as he stood up and started to drag the bodies far from the camp. “No, no...don’t get up. Please, you rest. Let the injured man do all the work,” Kaidan said, oozing with sarcasm.

“Thank you. You are very kind.”

_Pain in the ass_ , he grumbled in his head. When he was satisfied the bodies were far enough away, he laid next to the fire, an arm tucked under his head and yawned loudly. “What a fuckin’ night.”

“That is a crude way of putting it but, yes, indeed. Things are not boring around you, that is for certain.”

Kaidan craned his neck to look at her. Arms wrapped around legs as if trying to keep warm. Her hair had fallen out of its ponytail, and she was filthy again. He was sure he didn't look much better, his tunic ruined. _Maybe I can get some coin for those treasures I found and replace my clothes._

“Why?” he suddenly asked.

Orenwen continued to stare at the fire, not looking at him, knowing what he was asking but didn’t want to talk about it. She didn’t want to admit that, and she didn’t want to see him hurt. “Why, what?”

“You know what I mean. Why didn’t you run? Why did you come back?”

“Well, it was not like I was being altruistic. I just need the rest of my potions back in Windhelm, and I have no money.” 

“I’m not buying it.”

Orenwen waved an indifferent hand in his direction. “I do not understand why you would not.”

“Really? Because if you had left me to die, you would have had at least one potion and the rest of my coin. Not to mention, you could have sold all those artifacts. You could have then gone off to find more Thalmor to help you home. Instead, you chose to fight off the rest of the bandits and save my life...again. That’s twice now. As I said...not buyin’ it.”

Orenwen glanced at him from the corner of her eye, not wanting to face him and felt her face get hot. “Is that what you think? Well, it is not my fault you scrutinize my every move incorrectly.”

“Right,” was all Kaidan said, deciding to let it go. The elf was clearly lying for some reason.

Kaidan painfully got up and started digging in his pack as Orenwen watched him curiously. When he pulled out his hand, it was attached to a beautiful circlet of some strange dark metal and inlaid with gems the color of amber. She opened her eyes wide when he handed her the piece.

“Here, take it.”

Orenwen then narrowed her eyes at him. “Why?” she asked suspiciously, worried he was testing what she told him earlier about money. She didn’t like being cornered, called out on her lies.

“A gift...you saved my life.”

“You saved mine as well, that I recall.”

“True, but you have done so twice now. This time, you chose to not run; you killed my enemy and healed me. I say you can have it because you deserve it. I mean, can you see me wearing a fancy circlet anyway? Besides, Amber goes well with your...uhm... You will have more use for it.”

“Are you sure you want to part with such a family heirloom?” Orenwen asked, tentatively reaching for it. She inspected the piece, moving it around, bringing up close to her eyes.

“Aye, all I care about is that letter from my mother.”

“I...I do not know what to say. Thank you, I suppose, though that does not feel quite sufficient.”

“You’re welcome,” he grunted, sitting back down, watching her balance the circlet on her hands as she analyzed it.

“It is enchanted. I can feel the magic running through it...powerful magic.”

“Really? Do you know what kind?”

“Fire. It protects from fire, strong fire,” she answered, putting it on.

Kaidan was right that it looked beautiful on her, but he would never admit that to her. The amber gems sat atop her forehead, and they made her glowing eyes and skin even more so. It made her look almost ethereal.

He got up on wobbly legs from pain and exhaustion, stood in front of Orenwen, and offered his hand. She tentatively grabbed it as he pulled her up to stand. “Come on, let’s get some rest. I’m about to pass out. You can stay until morning, move on, or do what you want.”

Both of them laid down inside the tent as he covered them with the blanket. Kaidan must have fallen asleep quickly as he started to snore lightly. Orenwen rolled over away from him, arm tucked under her head and a small smile on her mouth, relieved to not be tied up anymore.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaidan woke up with a deep stretch, feeling much better. Looking over next to him, he noticed that Orenwen was gone— _I guess she moved on then_. He now trusted her enough that she wasn’t going to come back and kill him or send the Thalmor after him. He groaned then, realizing he still had to find the damned phial in the Forsaken Cave. Even though she was gone, he made a promise to the old man. 

Crawling out of the tent, he was greeted with Orenwen cooking some pheasant over a fire, colorful feathers heaped in a pile from plucking. Kaidan rubbed his eyes to make sure he saw right, and sure enough, she was still around and cooking no less.

She looked over and gave him a small smile and a cocked eyebrow. “Good morning. I trust you are finally rested. I was beginning to think you were going to sleep the entire day away.”

Kaidan looked up in the sky to determine the time, but it was still quite early. “I’m up late? What time did you get up?”

“Oh, I have been up for a couple of hours now.”

“Apparently. I didn’t know you could hunt.”

“Of course we Altmer can hunt. Torturing is hungry business,” she deadpanned.

Kaidan laughed under his breath at her dry humor, “Fair enough.”

He sat down, watching Orenwen cooking the bird. She reached to touch its doneness, drawing her finger back with a hiss, shaking her hand and sucked on the burn. Though she was beautiful when she got out of the bath yesterday morning, there was something about the way her messy hair in knots fell in her face and smudges of dirt across her face that made her more so. Despite her apparent noble upbringing, she didn’t complain nearly as much as he thought she would.

“Why are you still here, Orenwen?”

It was strange to hear the Akaviri use her name. It felt so personal, and they were just barely tepid acquaintances. “I need breakfast, too, you know.”

“You know what I mean...you’re a deflector.”

She sighed and nodded. “Fine, since you asked so politely... We did promise that old man the phial. Though he is old even for an Altmer and perhaps should accept his fate, we promised to get him the...thing.”

“I promised him. You could trade that circlet and get some money to buy what you need.”

“Yes, well, you promised him for my sake. And I would not dream of selling that circlet. I should not even have it.”

“I gave it to you. You can do what you want with it.”

She waved an indifferent hand to him, which she seemed prone to do, he noted, in her goal at deflection. “Pish posh. If you want to be rid of me that much, then so be it,” she said, not really meaning it. If she were honest with him, it was because she didn’t want to go back to the Thalmor. Returning to her aunt would have the same result since it was her aunt who forced her to be a Thalmor, to begin with. She didn’t want to go back to the prison or elsewhere and be forced to torture others. She realized after she met Kaidan, that she didn't have the stomach for it.

Kaidan watched her face as she took the pheasant off the spit and started tearing away wings and limbs, handing him the hot meat. He could see in her eyes she was reluctant to leave, and he couldn’t figure out why, but he wasn’t going to push it. If she wanted to help in this mission, then so be it.

When they were finished with breakfast, Kaidan patted his muscular stomach. “I think that is the best breakfast I have had in a long while. Nothing better than a pheasant.”

Orenwen smiled, pleased he enjoyed it. _I am twice his age, why am I behaving as some silly girl. Glad that he is pleased...ridiculous._ She didn't have some crush on the Akaviri, she just didn’t want to leave his side just yet, not ready to go back to her life. “Good, then we can finally move on and accomplish something today. Are you done lazing about then?”

“Lazy? I am not lazy! Anyway, yes, let’s go.”

Kaidan packed up the camp as Orenwen properly put out the fire. Strapping the pack on his back, he headed out with Orenwin close behind. Fortunately, they wouldn’t have to travel far. The cave they were looking for, according to Kaidan’s map, would place them there by late afternoon.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaidan and Orenwen snaked their way through the icy cavern in the Forsaken Cave. Even the name was foreboding as they quietly meandered following the narrow passageway. It was utterly dark, and Orenwen cast a mage light for them to see. Kaidan had good reasons to not trust mages, but sometimes it helped to have a little magic around. He would have been dead were it not for Orenwen’s magic, and now they could see because of it.

It was colder inside the cave than it was outside, the Last Seed’s warmth unable to penetrate its cold depths. Sword drawn, Kaidan’s breath came out in eerie bursts of fog that reflected blue against the mage light.

“What do you think we expect to find,” Orenwen whispered.

“Trolls, wolves, draugr...who knows? There’s always something, isn’t there?”

The passageway through the cave was narrow and short as Kaidan had to walk hunched over so he wouldn’t bump his head on the show stone ceiling. He prayed to the Gods that they wouldn’t have to face something in close quarters, unable to stand properly.

Orenwen was walking too close behind Kaidan when she tripped over a rock, stumbling right into him, almost knocking them both over. He quickly righted himself only to slam his head hard into the cave’s ceiling as her mage light went out. She was filled with guilt when she heard him mumble curses under his breath. Once her mage light was hovering once more, she could see Kaidan facing her, glowering. Orenwen tried to look contrite, but she couldn’t help the smile, a laugh bubbling up, though she quickly stifled it.

“Careful,” he grunted.

“Sorry…”

After the two breached the passway, they entered a large cavernous room covered in ice. Kaidan suddenly grabbed her hand as the mage light extinguished, hearing grunts from a distance.

“What was…” Orenwen said, about to protest him grabbing her hand before Kaidan put a hand on her mouth.

“Shhh. Trolls,” he whispered. 

“It is dark, and we cannot fight them without light,” she informed him when he removed his hand and produced her mage light once more. “And keep that filthy hand off of my mouth, thank you.”

Pushing forward quietly, they soon came upon a snow troll grunting and foraging on the ground for something, the blue light of the orb discoloring the blood on the ground surrounding the creature. Instead of drawing his sword, he pulled out his bow, nocking an arrow. Before he had a chance to fire it, Orenwen was one step ahead of him, producing her own bow out of thin air. _Not thin air, magically_ , he corrected himself.

Two arrows to the head, one after the other, killed the beast as they watched it crumble to the ground. Kaidan and Orenwen knew there was another as they heard more grunts. Rounding a corner, there it was, another snow troll which also fell to the ground dead. Kaidan looked at Orenwen in annoyance, wanting a chance to kill it.

“Show off.”

“What?” she asked innocently, whispering, but her smile indicated she did it on purpose. “Useful, no? I do not have to carry my weapons.”

Kaidan just grunted in acknowledgment.

“This must be the way through,” he said, opening the large iron doors. He stopped Orenwen before they went through. “This isn’t just a cave, but ancient ruins judging by this door. I have been in them before with the Dragonborn. We will most likely be faced with draugr. A lot of draugr.”

Orenwen nodded. 

“This couldn’t have been easy, could it? A phial for an old man is going to turn out more trouble than it’s worth, I can feel it. Maybe I should just sell my treasures and buy the last potion...be done with it.”

“I guess you could, but we did promise the old mer, though I would not be surprised if he is dead already,” she said.

“You’re right, we promised. Curse it...let’s go. Got nothing better to do.”

The change in environment was instant, going from a stoney cave to ancient ruins, typical of those scattered throughout Skyrim, once they walked through the doors. Many were created for ancient priests from the days Dragons ruled. This one was no different. 

The ancient passage brought the two face to face with several draugr roaming about as if guarding something precious—perhaps they were. The undead, swords drawn, wandered about aimlessly until Kaidan and Orenwen almost stumbled into them. Kaidan easily took two down while Orenwen blasted a couple of others with her fireball spell, who were susceptible to fire. 

The ruins were vast, and the two didn’t really know where they were going or what they were looking for precisely other than to keep pushing forward and hope they would stumble onto the phial. They must have already killed twenty draugr before they reached a cavernous room. Up a flight of steps placed on either side of the ledge was a coffin— _that can’t be good_ —and a word wall. Kaidan already knew from experience that word walls were often protected by ancient dragon priests or draugr deathlords. 

Kaidan pressed a finger to his lips, crouched, and started sneaking up to the coffin. If they could get close enough, perhaps they could kill the powerful draugr before it awoke. Unbeknownst to Kaidan, Orenwen cast a muffle spell to silence them as they inched their way forward. 

Hovering over the draugr corpse, Kaidan raised his sword downwards and thrust the sharp end through its skull, killing it. Of course, it wouldn’t be that easy as several draugr burst forth from their surrounding coffins. Some unknown force waking them from their deathly slumber.

Yanking out his sword from the chest cavity of the last dead draugr, which was strange since they were already dead, he walked over to the word wall. “I need to tell Minna about this if I see her.”

“You have mentioned her before. I assume she is the Bosmer Dragonborn we saw you traveling with?”

“Aye, the same. She saved my life and then…”

“Yes, then she left. I am assuming this was an unexpected turn of events.”

“It was my fault,” Kaidan said but didn’t explain further. “She will want to know this is here. These word walls give her dragon language power.”

“Indeed? Interesting. I sense strong magic here, but I can not understand what is written.”

“Alright, enough of this. We need to look around for the phial.”

“I saw when we came in, under this...word wall looked like a doorway. Perhaps it is in there,” Orenwen suggested.

“Sounds good.”

They were unable to find how to open the door when Orenwen reminded Kaidan of the potion the old man gave them. “Pour the contents into that bowl.”

Kaidan did as she suggested, and as the green liquid poured into the vessel, the stone door slowly slid open. Before them stood the white phial on a pedestal as if on display. Kaidan rushed in to grab it and shoved it in his bag while Orenwen went about gathering alchemy ingredients and shoved them in the pockets of her dress. When Kaidan looked at her questioningly, she shrugged. “I am certain the alchemist will make a trade or perhaps buy them from me.”

“Finally. Back to Windhelm. Let’s go,” ordered Kaidan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: The real reason Orenwen hasn't left.


	8. Reluctant Partners

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After delving into ruins, Kaidan squeezes more information out of Orenwen and why she wants to stick with him despite being his prisoner previously. When she finally tells him, he realizes he has bigger problems than a former Thalmor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

When they stepped out of the cave, it was evening, and they didn’t realize how long they were inside. Time seemed to vanish when battling the depths of ancient Nordic ruins and its unwelcome inhabitants.

“Well, I guess you are stuck with me once again for the evening, but I am certain you can think of worse things.”

Kaidan laughed under his breath, not indulging her that he found it humorous. “Yes, there are worse things: draugr, trolls, cave bears…”

“Are you comparing me to draugr?” she asked in mock offense.

“You smell like one anyway.”

Orenwen approached Kaidan closely, making a show of sniffing the air and plugging her nose with a thumb and finger. “Yes, as do you. Well, since you smell so terrible, I will go and find us a meal while you ready the camp, yes? We would not want you to scare off the prey.”

“Fine, just be,”— _careful_ he almost said, but didn’t finish. 

Orenwen headed off into the woods while he readied the camp and made a spit for whatever animal she brought back. While he waited, he looked back at the situation he found himself in with Orenwen. Kaidan was still trying to figure out why the Altmer woman was still tagging along with him, and he didn’t buy it that she wanted to help him through the ruins. Every time he asked her about it, she deflected with lies or subject changes.

Kaidan wasn’t sure he wanted the Thalmor woman tagging along. He was happy that he trusted her enough to not drag her along by ropes, and he was sure she was as well, but even after his treatment of her as a prisoner, she had yet to leave his side. He was beginning to suspect that she was reluctant to return to her old life, remembering her mention that she didn’t want to be forced to work in the prison. 

One thing he knew was he needed to get some answers out of her, then decide if he was going to send her on her way or let her continue to tag along.

Orenwen was gone a long time, so long Kaidan was beginning to actually worry about the Altmer. He didn’t want to and tried not to care, hoping she finally left, but he doubted it, and she was still his responsibility in a way— _something’s wrong. She shouldn’t be gone this long_. 

Before he could do anything about it, she returned, long hair dripping wet, her face clean of blood and dirt, though her dress was still a disaster. 

“Miss me?” she greeted.

Kaidan just grunted when she showed up, making a show of working hard to keep the fire roaring, not indicating his worry for her. “I was beginning to think you were dragged off by a bear,” he said nonchalantly.

“You _did_ miss me!” she teased.

“No. I’m just hungry,” he lied.

“I apologize for not being attentive enough to your stomach. I had to clean up a bit. I was tired of being covered in filth and stinking like a corpse. There is obviously no warm bath, but the stream was enough...and chilly. It is right over there, not too far where you can wash up,” she informed him, pointing West. “ _Please_ wash up. You do not want to eat with your hands after what we touched today.”

Kaidan felt like Orenwen suddenly turned into a mother hen as she shooed him to go clean up. “Now wait a…”

“Go!” she shooed once more, pointing to the stream.

He grumped and went to clean up. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to get clean, he just didn’t like being ordered about by her. _How does this woman go from a Thalmor Justiciar to a mother in less than a week?_

When he returned, the rabbits were skinned already and roasting on the spit, fat dripping down into the fire sizzling and sending smells of cooking that made his mouth water. He watched Orenwen turn the rabbits around to make sure they were cooking through and decided it was as good a time as any to talk to her. He hoped to catch her with her guard down so she wouldn’t deflect again.

“Orenwen?”

“Hmmm?” she answered distractedly.

“What has changed?” he asked.

“You will have to clarify what you mean.”

“Why are you still here?”

Orenwen glanced at him out of the corner of her eye, not wanting to give anything away. “I already told…”

“No, you were lying,” he interrupted. “I read people well, and I know you weren’t truthful.”

“You just insist on pushing this…” she complained, sitting on her bottom, arms folded around her, a look of defiance on her face, while the rabbits roasted. “Why do you even care?”

“No, you do not get to turn this back on me,” Kaidan deflected in return.

Orenwen looked down at where she placed her hands in her lap, picking at a fingernail to bide her time. If she told him, she was afraid he would send her away. She didn’t want Kaidan thinking she was dependent on him, and she wasn’t. She could sell her alchemy ingredients, she knew how to hunt and defend herself. She just didn’t want to go back to being a Thalmor, but she wanted to still feel useful somehow, not wanting to do it alone. Her intention wasn’t to stay with the Akaviri forever, just long enough to perhaps start a life of her own. Maybe she could go back to Summerset Isle eventually, back home to where she grew up.

“Orenwen, I hope you aren’t thinking of another lie.”

“No, I am not.” Those words alone were an indication she had undoubtedly lied. “I am just debating on answering you.”

“Fair enough.”

She finally looked at Kaidan. “The truth is I don’t want to go back.”

“Back where? Home?”

“No, well, yes, in part. I don’t want to go back to the Thalmor. I just don’t have the stomach for it. I know that now. I cannot return home either. My aunt is a...stern woman, and she would not tolerate failure on my part. She is the one who forced me into this line of work, wanting me to follow in her footsteps.”

“Your aunt is a Thalmor too, I take it?” 

Orenwen nodded. “Yes, she is the Thalmor Ambassador to Skyrim, Elenwen.”

Kaidan looked at the elf, eyes wide as saucers. “You have got to be kidding me?”

“I assure you, I am not being humorous.”

He rubbed his face with calloused hands in frustration and thought about what she was telling him. In part, he was pleased that she didn’t want to go back to being a Thalmor. One less Thalmor in Skyrim, the better. But he was beginning to realize that she wanted to stick it out with him and he wasn’t sure that was such a good idea. “I see…” was all he said as he mulled things over.

“I...I would like to stay with you for a while if you allow it. At least until I can save some coin and maybe start a life of my own. As you can see, I can hunt, cook, and defend myself.”

“I see.”

“Yes, you said that already,” Orenwen said with a tinge of anger and desperation in her voice.

“I don’t know, Orenwen, I’m glad you don’t want to be a Thalmor any longer, but you are related to a very important person, a powerful person. She’s not going to just let you go to start a new life. You do know this, right? I have heard enough about the Ambassador to know that she does not relinquish control easily. She’s going to send people after you. I really wish you had told me this earlier.”

“Yes, well, you would just send me away then, hence the lies.”

“You’re right, I may have...I still might, but for now, I won’t.”

Orenwen looked up at Kaidan with hope. “I can stay?” she asked, trying not to sound too excited.

“Yes, I am reluctant to turn away someone who wants to change their life for the better. I understand that better than anyone...more than you know. But we have to be very careful. If the Thalmor find you, they will not be generous and kind, and they will also kill me,” Kaidan explained.

“Yes, yes. I will help protect you. I will not let them hurt you again, Kaidan.”

Kaidan believed what she was telling him. He saw no lies in her eyes, but he would remain vigilant regardless. She was still a Thalmor and a mage. It would be hard for him to trust her fully, despite her saving his life. If she were faced with the Thalmor Justiciar again, he wondered if she would willingly go with them or balk with the word ‘betrayal’ floating in the back of his mind. “Very well, we will be partners...for now. This is on a trial basis only.”

“Yes, thank you. I will do my best,” she said, unable to hide her gratitude. Checking for doneness, the rabbits were fully cooked as she handed Kaidan one while she ate the other.

“We are going to have to get you some proper gear then if you are to fight by my side,” Kaidan suggested with a mouth full of rabbit meat.

“I just need some robes that I can enchant, I will be fine.”

“No robes. Mage or not, you can still die by the sword, and you need proper protection. If you won’t wear heavy armor, we can find you a leather set, but I’d rather it be made of steel or iron. You will also need your own pack to carry gear for yourself...urgh, so much. You’re going to be expensive.”

Orenwen started digging in one of her pockets and pulled a handful of something, showing it to Kaidan. “Will this do?” she asked with a smirk on her face, knowing it would be.

“What the…” Kaidan said in shock, looking at the handful of gems. “Did you find these in the ruins?”

“I did. I grabbed a few because I did not know if you would toss me aside, and I needed the means to survive.”

Kaidan grabbed a dark blue gem, holding up to the firelight. It was a perfect sapphire. “I think this one will do nicely.”

“You don’t want the rest?”

“No, you keep them...just in case.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaidan put the alchemy shop’s namesake gently on the counter as Nurelion inspected it with a critical eye. "This...it matches every description of the Phial that I've found in lore. But if it can't hold liquid, there's no way of knowing. How did you manage to damage it, then? This is what I get for not retrieving it myself."

“Well, it was already like this when we found it,” Kaidan explained.

The old man scoffed. "Figures—I doubt you have sufficient knowledge to harm the Phial even if you wanted to. Either way, this is the end of it. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm not quite in the mood to entertain guests. I trust you can show yourself out. Here's for your trouble." He tossed five Semptim on the counter and was walking away.

“The nerve! Listen, you old withered windbag! We went through a lot of trouble getting you this broken piece of junk!”

The old Altmer’s response was to grumble that he was going to bed.

Quintus quickly came up to the duo before they had a chance to distress his master further. “I want to thank you for your help. I know my master can be a bit short at times.” Digging in some cabinets, he pulled out a coin purse and threw it on the counter. “Here, take this. It should more than make up for your troubles.”

Kaidan nodded his head in appreciation as he and Orenwen headed out the door with their extra potion and 505 Septim richer. 

“Wait!” Quintus yelled out after them. 

The two turned around, not exactly overjoyed to be stopped from their chances of dinner and a bath.

“I have some thoughts on how to repair the phial,” he explained. “There are three crucial elements. Some may be easier to find than others.”

Kaidan looked at the man in surprise, but then couldn’t control his anger. “When my friend here told your boss that we went through a lot of trouble for the Phial, she wasn’t kidding. Now you want us to go on another errand, no doubt just as complicated, again? For an old man who doesn’t appreciate anything?”

“Yes, but try to think of it as you doing _me_ the favor. You will be rewarded, of course,” Quintus offered.

Kaidan sighed, not really wanting to do another quest for these people. “Tell you what, let me and my friend here have something to eat, get cleaned up, and rest. I will decide in the morning.”

“Yes, thank you!” 

Kaidan and Orenwen were back at Candlehearth Hall, ordering dinner, drinks, baths, and rooms. 

“We only have one room left,” Elda informed them.

“Of course, you have,” Kaidan mumbled his complaint, then looked at Orenwen sheepishly. “I guess I will take the floor.”

“Nonsense. We have already slept side by side a few times now. One more night is not going to kill me. Just no flopping your troll arms about me and stay away from the...you know...paid women.”

“Wenches. They are called ‘wenches,’ Orenwen. And I do not have troll arms!”

“Yes...those and yes, you do,” she said, nose scrunched and upturned in disgust.

“What do you think about helping the assistant at the White Phial?” Kaidan asked as they sat down to wait for their meal.

“I believe that it is up to you, but perhaps we should help them, not that the old beast deserves our help. It is not only extra money but did you have any other plans?”

Kaidan took a long pull on his mead bottle. “Not really. I thought my mission would take me a lot farther. I was not expecting to have it solved already.” Taking another sip, he looked at Orenwen. “I’m surprised you want to help them at all. I thought you were going to kill that old man with your death stare.”

“Well, it is a classic training tactic by the Thalmor, death stares are. Nothing like rendering a person dead by looks alone,” she said in jest.

Kaidan chuckled. He never realized any Altmer could have a sense of humor, as dry as it was. “Indeed. You Altmer are masters at it.”

After their meal, they decided to have a few drinks before their bath. Kaidan figured they may as well get to know one another more. “So, tell me about life with Elenwen.”

“I would rather not,” Orenwen exclaimed, her haughtiness returning. “I believe I have talked enough about myself for now and would rather talk about you.”

“Fine, what would you like to know,” he shrugged.

“How did you get that tattoo on your face?”

“Next question.”

That threw Orenwen off. She thought she asked a rather simple question only to be balked. “Oh, very well then. As a fellow orphan, who raised you?”

Kaidan looked lost in thought. Talking about growing up was hard. In reality, a lot of his life he didn’t want to talk about, most of it being painful. “Brynjar raised me, a Nord, and raised me like one. I spent most of my childhood with him traveling Tamriel and crisscrossing across Skyrim. Of course, now that I have some answers about my life, I realize we moved about a lot for a reason.” He looked at her, reminding himself of who she really is—who she was. “We were running from you...well, the Thalmor. That is, who I believe killed my family.” 

“I now understand why you were so volatile with me after your discoveries, well, more so than before.”

“Yes, it would seem the Thalmor have been a thorn in my side—a dagger—for my entire life.”

“You may not believe this, but I am sorry,” Orenwen offered, eyeing him in a way so he would know her sincerity. 

Kaidan nodded in acknowledgment. Now that he had a tentative ally who was raised by the Thalmor, he wanted some inside knowledge into their training and beliefs. He wanted to know why they hate Talos so much. The questions would have to wait, not wanting the Nords of the inn to overhear she was a former Thalmor. They would kill her on the spot.

“I didn’t know it at the time, but it was the constant moving, teaching me how to live in the wilderness—training me every day to fight. I learned to use a sword before I even learned to read,” he continued.

“I watched you fight those bandits, seeing how well-trained you were.”

“It wasn’t enough, apparently, since they nearly killed me.”

“Fortunately, I was there!”

Kaidan breathed out a short laugh, “Indeed.”

“Well, your childhood was certainly odd.”

“You could say that. For my thirteenth birthday, he took me on a hunting trip in the wilderness, and when I woke the next morning, he was nowhere to be found. All he left me was some flint, a knife, and an empty waterskin. I managed to make it back to civilization after two days, no worse for wear though.”

“I believe in thoroughly training children, but leaving you alone at such a young age. What was he thinking?”

“It was all a part of my survival training.”

“I know how hard training can be. Mine was equally difficult, where all I wanted to do was read and practice my magic.”

Kaidan didn’t say anything to that, not wanting to talk about Thalmor training for the same reasons he didn’t want to talk about Talos. Taking another pull on his mead, he looked about the tavern to make sure no one was paying too much attention to them.

“Tell me about your Dragonborn,” Orenwen asked, pulling him back to her. “Why did she leave you in the middle of the night?”

She watched Kaidan control his blush, but he wasn’t successful, realizing he did something to push her away that he was still embarrassed about. “Saw that, did you? Minna, that’s her name, was a strange one. She was a true Bosmer and a bit feral. Perhaps it was because she saved my life, but I was drawn to her and tried to…,” he didn’t finish as he took another sip of mead.

“Make love to her? Kiss her? Expressed your love?”

“The middle one. I thought I loved her, but it was just something else I needed, hence the wenches the other day.”

“Ah…”

“She didn’t like it and just left without telling me except for a note to tell me that I was free of any obligation to her and not to follow her.”

“That must have stung a bit.”

“A bit,” he conceded. 

After their baths, they headed to sleep, both agreeing they would be up early to get the details on how to fix the Phial having nothing better to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: New quest, new adventure with new partners.


	9. Enemies to Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan and Orenwen decide to help out the old Altmer in fixing his White Phial and get her outfitted for an adventure. Orenwen finds relief and discomfiture in explaining how she ended up living with her Aunt Elenwen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you are enjoying Kaidan and Orenwen together so far.

Kaidan and Orenwen spent the better part of the morning getting her fitted for armor and purchased a pack with all the necessities she would need to travel. Much to Kaidan’s objections, she bought her beloved kohl, snowberry lip balm, a brush, a fur-lined cloak, and a new casual outfit, along with a pair of earrings. If she was going to travel in the muck, she wanted to look her best.

“You know, no one is going to see you with makeup and jewelry on. No one is going to care if they do,” Kaidan informed her, wondering why she wasted her money.

“ _I_ will care. I like to look my best. I could not care less what others think,” Orenwen informed him as she stood in front of the looking glass in their rented room, putting on her makeup. She turned around to face him, “Well, what do you think?”

Kaidan lounged on his side in the bed as he watched her beautify herself and scoffed at her question. “What I think is that you said you didn’t care what others think, and now you are asking what _I_ think.”

“Touché! But the looking glass is subpar, and I cannot see myself clearly and want to know if I messed up somewhere,” she insisted as she put several earrings in each long ear.

“Where in our short travels together have I ever mentioned my knowledge of makeup and how to apply it?”

“Bah! You are no use! Fine, I will ask one of the women downstairs.”

“Wise choice,” he replied blandly.

Though Kaidan didn’t give his opinion, she did look quite beautiful in her makeup. She wasn’t wrong that the eye makeup brought out the gold in her eyes, though she was still beautiful without it. But he wasn’t about to admit that to her.

He dug in his pack and pulled out her old Thalmor robes, throwing them on the bed. “Here, you should carry these now that you have your own pack.”

“Why, in all of Nirn, did you keep these? I thought you tossed them out when I had to change into that hideous peasant dress.”

“They aren’t mine to toss. I had every intention of returning them to you.”

Orenwen scrunched her nose as she was prone to do when in disgust. “I want nothing to do with them,” she waved her hand as if shooing a fly away.

“You need to hang on to them.”

“Whyever for?”

Kaidan did his best not to treat her condescendingly, but she knew better. “Orenwen, you’re a smart lass. Think about it. They will eventually come looking for you, and when they do, you will have your robes and at least pretend you are still a good little Thalmor. It may save your life.”

Orenwen held up the robe, showing nothing in her face. If anyone had glanced at her, they would have seen indifference were it not for the white knuckles clenching it. “If I must… I am sorry, Kaidan.”

“Sorry for what?’

Orewnwen was still looking at her black and gold robes, not wanting to face him, but felt she finally owed him an apology. “My trickery to get you captured. I hated doing it. As soon as I walked into your camp and you rushed to my aid...your kindness, I knew it was all wrong, and I was too afraid to say anything, not that they would have listened.”

“I have to admit I was pretty angry, but you are a good actress.”

“Aren’t I, though?” she said, suddenly bright and full of smiles. “I mean it, I’m sorry.”

“Bah, I have already forgiven you. I know you’re sorry,” Kaidan said, doing his best at imitating her indifferent wave of the hand.

“Well, where’s my ‘I’m so sorry, Orenwen, for tying you up for days and making you urinate standing up and constantly throwing my hairless troll arm across your body nightly?’” she asked in her best Kaidan voice. “Hmmm?”

“You can hardly blame me for not trusting you, and as I recall, you were the one pulling me on you.”

Orenwen raised her chin in mock indignation, “I did no such thing.”

“Right…” he smirked.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Orenwen and Kaidan walked into the White Phial, they were greeted with hacking and coughing from the old Altmer upstairs. Quintus looked exhausted, probably from caring for his master all night, but his face lit up when he saw the duo walk into the shop.

“Greetings! I hope you are here because you decided to do this job for me.”

“We have. So, let’s hear the details. How tedious is this going to be?” Orenwen asked.

“Tedious, I’m afraid,” Quintus answered with a proper amount of guilt on his face. “Nothing worthwhile is easy, is it?”

“Figures…So, out with it,” Kaidan groaned.

“I will need three special ingredients to repair the Phial. The first one is located on the top of the Throat of the World. There is a patch of Unmelting Snow. No heat can touch it. The second is the tusk of a mammoth, ground to a fine powder as only the giants know how. I’m afraid you will have to find it in a giant’s camp. The final step is tricky. It requires the briar heart from a Forsworn of the Reach. If you can bring me these materials, the Phial can again be made whole."

Kaidan didn’t hide his annoyance and groaned. “I can’t believe I just agreed to this. The only reason I am is that I have no other jobs going on at the moment.”

“Oh, this is exciting! A real adventure!” Orenwen suddenly exclaimed as Kaidan looked at her as if she had lost her mind.

“Do you have any idea how dangerous this is going to be? Top of the Throat of the World? The wind alone can blow us right off to our deaths.”

“Wind schmind. I have spells to protect against such things.”

Deciding it wasn’t worth arguing since he knew she would find several answers to keep them going, he relented. “How much are we talking,” he asked the assistant.

“Will 2,000 Septim do?”

Kaidan tried not to show his surprise at the amount, pretending maybe it wasn’t quite enough. “Hmmm, a decent amount, I suppose, but…”

“Oh, wonderful! We will take it!” Orenwen jumped in, not seeing her partner rub his face in frustration or hear his low growl.

Leaving the shop, Kaidan grabbed Orenwen’s arm and pulled her aside. “Rule number one when doing bounty or mercenary work: Haggle the price! Never settle on the first amount offered.”

“Oh, I just thought it was more than expected, and he has to care for an elderly man. I didn’t want to take more than necessary.”

“Fair point, but still, next time, let me do the price negotiating.”

“Very well. I will bow down to your expertise, Oh mighty mercenary,” she teased, bowing in mock deference.

Kaidan couldn’t stifle his sigh of frustration, “Right…Let’s just go.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was early evening by the time they arrived in Ivarstead. It had taken them three days to get there. Kaidan looked over at Orenwen as they ambled through town. She looked tired. He was too, but she was sluggish and quiet, and he wondered if she was coming down with something. As he thought about it, he realized she had been quiet most of the day, which was unlike her, being usually talkative.

Vilemyr Inn was quiet, with only a couple of patrons drinking and eating. Kaidan ordered them two rooms and brought them some stew and mead. Orenwen barely managed a ‘thank you’ as she picked at her food. She spent most of the evening drinking mead. Kaidan was starting to worry about her, and if she were getting sick, the last thing she needed was more alcohol.

“Orenwen, you have been very quiet and a bit slow today. You have not been your usual haughty and jocular self. What’s going on? Are you coming down with something?”

“Coming down?”

“Getting sick.”

“Oh, no, we Altmer rarely get sick. Superior stock, we are,” she said in jest, but it came out flat. “Do not tell me you are starting to care, my hulking friend.”

He was relieved she was at least trying to be herself, even if it came off drier than a desert. “Never,” he teased in return. “But if you’re not sick, do you mind telling what is going on in that head of yours?”

Orenwen appreciated Kaidan’s concern and decided to come clean. Perhaps it would be good to talk about it. She just wasn’t used to doing so since her aunt never allowed her to deal with it, only grieving when she was alone. Her friends, if she could call them that, never really cared. “I am sorry it is just not a good day today. I usually end up like this on this day.”

“Today?” Kaidan asked, then it dawned on him. “The day you lost your parents.” It was more of a statement rather than a question.

“Yes. I wonder because we live so long, our grieving goes beyond the norm. Perhaps it is just me.”

“It is not just you. I grieve over a mother I never even knew,” Kaidan shrugged.

Orenwen looked down at her bottle of mead sadly. “Thank you for saying that. I doubt myself frequently on this day. My aunt never allowed me to grieve, though I did in private. My friends never cared. Altmer is not known for their emotions. We tend to bottle things up.”

“I would have thought so, but you have shown me otherwise,” Kaidan offered.

A warm smile graced her face, but the sadness in her eyes remained. “I am unsure if that is a good thing or a bad thing.”

“I think that depends on who you ask. For me, it is a good thing. Your own people? Probably not. Do you want to talk about it? It might help you, especially, by the sound of it, you never were given that chance.”

She looked at Kaidan sadly, appreciating his offer. Orenwen knew that very day she trapped him at his camp that he was a good man. “Oh, I am fine. No need to trouble you further. You have enough worries.”

“If I felt it was trouble, I wouldn’t have offered.”

The look Orenwen gave him was sheepish, but he looked sincere in his offer. Still, she was reluctant, afraid to get upset in public. 

Kaidan could tell she wanted to talk about it, but as he watched her look around the tavern, taking in the crowd, he concluded that she didn’t want to talk about things with so many people around. He went to the bar to grab two more mead, and when he returned to her, he offered his hand. 

Orenwen saw Kaidan reach out to her as she tentatively grabbed his hand. He lifted her up out of her seat and pulled her to his room, sitting her down on the chair, and he took the bed. “I could tell you didn’t want to talk in front of all those people, so now we are private.”

“Why are you so nice all the time? I am not sure I deserve it,” she whispered, looking down at her hands.

“You say that a lot, but I wasn’t always nice. In fact, I have done some terrible things, which is why I suppose I relate to you a bit. I’m doing my best to make up for it. So tell me your story.”

“Very well. I was young, but I remember everything. I remember my parents and how loving they were. Where most of my friends had parents that taught them to reign in the emotions...to be strong and never show weakness, my parents were the opposite of that.

I was an only child, and my parents doted on me. We were wealthy, but they did not have cold hearts. I remember stories at bedtime, my mother encouraging me with my spells with an infinite amount of patience, especially in restoration magic. I remember my father teaching me conjuration magic and how to survive and hunt with bound weapons. I loved them so very much...I still do.”

Orenwen could already feel the tears pool in her eyes as she struggled not to shed them. Taking a couple of sips of mead helped distract her, but she could feel the effects of the alcohol take root, and she knew it wouldn’t take much to break her down.

Kaidan said nothing as a way of encouraging her to go on.

“I was around fifteen when they died. It was so long ago, but it still feels like it just happened to me. Perhaps that is the way of things with Mer who live so long.”

“How long has it been,” Kaida asked, figuring it was a more polite way of asking her age.

“It was forty-one years ago today. I grew up in Shimmerene, which is on the coast. I miss it so much, and it is such a beautiful city, peaceful. We were traveling to see my aunt Elenwen in Alinor, the Capital before she was sent to Skyrim. She is my mother’s older sister, much older. I do not know why my grandparents chose to have another child after so much time, and I never asked. 

We were riding in the carriage for a couple of days when my mother demanded we stop. She had seen out of the window, an Altmer mother and a crying infant on the side of the road. She looked destitute…”

“Wait, I thought all Altmer were well off and educated,” Kaidan interrupted.

“Oh, that is what the Thalmor want everyone to believe. No, many of our people have been sacrificed for the ‘good’ of our country. After the Oblivion Crisis and the Great War, most of the wealthy went to rebuilding and expanding an army, growing the Thalmor. No, we have poverty and slums but are neatly hidden away. My mother and father tried to help these people as much as they could, which was no surprise my mother wanted to stop and help the woman and her child.”

Kaidan could see ambush written all over it. “Let me guess... an ambush.”

“Indeed. Father got out first because even though they wished to help, they were not stupid. He had his bound sword drawn as he went over to the woman, but it wasn’t her he should have been worried about. There were others, and they killed him with several arrows. 

It was chaos at that point as our guards were being killed. My mother threw me to one of those guards on horseback and told him to take me away, save my life. I was crying for the loss of my father, and when I looked back to say goodbye to my mother, she was being stabbed to death. I will never forget that look on her face when she sent me away. It was so full of pain, but relief that I would be safe. There was nothing I could do about it as I screamed for her.”

Orenwen finally broke, as she knew she would. She couldn’t remember the last time she told her story—years. Hands over her face weeping, she felt Kaidan pull her into the bed and wrap his arms around her. Orenwen sobbed on his chest, and he rubbed her back. 

“I feel like I should be over this, but I am not. It lingers,” she said between sobs.

“That’s because you never got a chance to properly grieve and have someone to talk to,” Kaidan said, letting her cry. He could feel his own loss in every sob Orenwen made.

When she calmed down a bit, she continued on with her story. “The guard took me to my aunt’s. Elenwen was kind enough to take me in, but she never shed a tear for her sister. Maybe she did it in private. She raised me as best she could, I suppose, but it was a cold sort of relationship, one I was not used to being surrounded by loving parents. I soon realized it was not just Elenwen, but Altmer in general, especially those surrounded by my aunt, who are mostly Thalmor.

After so many years, I was tired of living with her and wanted to venture out on my own, find a trade or teach or study...something, anything to feel useful and get out. When I explained to her what I wanted to do, she told me under no circumstance was I doing those things. She forced me to train as a Thalmor and follow in her footsteps. I had been with her for a long time by then and had come to believe most of what she taught me. The Altmer are superior in all ways; everyone else is lesser. When one is told something enough, they start to believe it.”

“How long did you train for then?” Kaidan asked, still rubbing her back.

Orenwen stifled a yawn, getting sleepy after the drinking and crying, not to mention all the walking they did earlier that day. “I trained for five years before they sent me on my first assignment, apparently at the behest of my aunt. That’s when…” she yawned. “I tried to entrap...you…”

Kaidan looked down to find why she had gotten so quiet, words sputtering, realizing she had fallen asleep on him. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

Orenwen woke up to a dark room, but only because there were no windows, knowing it was morning. As her keen eyes adjusted, she noticed she was pressed up against Kaidan’s back, not understanding how this situation came to be. Her cloudy mind cleared, realizing she must have fallen asleep while Kaidan had been holding her. 

As quiet as she could, she got out of bed and went to her room to change into her armor and get ready for the day. When she came out of his room, she could see the owner’s prying eyes with a look of knowing in them, shaming her for staying the night in another man’s room.

“Just be happy you got extra coin for an unused room,” Orenwen said to the man as she walked past him to her room, not defending herself or caring to.

When she came out, she was surprised Kaidan wasn’t up and ready. She ordered them breakfast and tea and went to go wake him up. As soon as Orenwen was about to knock on his door, he opened it standing in front of her as if knowing she was right there.

“Uhm, good morning,” she greeted, feeling her words were wholly inadequate after last night, allowing her to talk about her loss.

Kaidan looked down at her, looking well-rested and perfectly done up in makeup and armor, not a hair out of place. He felt like a wagon wreck in comparison, knowing his hair was in knots, but food first. “Morning.”

“I took the liberty of ordering us breakfast.”

The two sat down at a table, waiting for their food. Kaidan was eyeing to see if she was OK from last night, but she wasn’t looking at him—avoiding. “You OK?” 

“Hmmm? Oh, yes.”

“Are you sure?”

“Indeed,” Orenwen, said looking at him finally. “I, uhm, appreciate you listening last night. I feel a bit foolish, and the drinking did not help. I, uh, apologize for falling asleep on you.”

Kaidan watched her golden skin turn bright orange, such a strange color, never seeing Altmer blush before. He just gave her a kind smile, “It was my pleasure. You were tired, and I don’t fault you for falling asleep. It was a long day.”

A feeling of relief washed over Orenwen when the food arrived, and she could distract herself with eating. She was appreciative Kaidan was there for her to listen to her pain, but Altmer didn’t share pain, not that she was allowed to. It felt strange to her now that she was no longer drinking.

When they were done with breakfast, they made their way up towards the Seven Thousand steps.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: The Throat of the World, non-Dragonborn style.


	10. The Demise of a God

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just when Kaidan and Orenwen were making headway and learning to get along, religion pushes them back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!

“Do you think there are actually seven thousand steps? Has anyone ever counted?” Orenwen asked as they started their climb up the mountain. 

Down below in town, the morning was warming up to be a pleasant and warm day. The orange leaves from the birches rained down like weightless coins, blanketing the roads in warm hues. But the higher they went, the colder it was going to be, so they made sure to bundle up.

“I had to come up here with the Dragonborn once, and no, I didn’t count them. You can if you want.”

“I can think of better things to do with my time, like cleaning my fingernails, scraping mud off of my boots, being tied up with a hulking mammoth of a man…”

“I get the picture, but just to be clear, you would rather be tied up with me than count steps?

Orenwen rolled her eyes at the man. “Oh, who would not want to be tied to you? I was merely facetious...to be clear.”

“Aw, I knew you liked me. You can’t weasel your way out of it with all your snuggling up against my backside this morning,” Kaidan teased.

“Why I...as if!” she flustered and marched past him so he couldn’t see her embarrassment, made even worse because she couldn’t think of one retort. She thought she was successful in sneaking out of his room without him noticing this morning.

Kaidan sniggered behind her and followed, much to her annoyance. 

“Urgh!”

They were not even half-way up the mountain before they had to stop to rest and made a quick camp. The snow wasn’t so deep that they couldn’t clear off some snow and sit.

“By Talos, I forgot what a climb it was already,” Kaidan huffed as they made their way to some trees for firewood.

Orenwen looked at Kaidan in disgust, nose scrunched as she was prone to do, as if some foul smell assaulted her nostrils. “Do not say that name,” she hissed.

“Whyever not? No, don’t answer that. I know you Thalmor hate Talos, but for the life of me, I cannot figure out why.”

“He is not a god, and I have no idea why you people worship him. He was a bastard too. A bastard human ascended to godhood. The very notion is ridiculous,” she explained as she blasted a dead tree for firewood.

“Just because he’s not your god doesn’t mean he’s not ours. And how is he a bastard? I still don’t understand why the Altmer hate him so much,” he complained as they gathered the wood, carrying it back to camp.

To be honest, Kaidan didn’t know much about Talos other than he was raised to worship him. Brynjar was a Nord and prayed to Talos whenever he got the chance, but it was always in secret, never explaining why his prayers were conducted late at night. They never stayed longer than a couple of minutes before rushing off.

Orenwen really didn’t want a long debate about religion, but she had a feeling Kaidan was going to force her hand, so she relented and explained the problem of Talos. It would be a useless endeavor as people were not easily changed or swayed when it came to religion and strong-held beliefs. She ignored the fact that her opinion was directed at Kaida and not herself as the two dropped the wood to the ground. 

“Tiber Septim, in his endeavor to tear through Tamriel, overthrew the Aldmeri Dominion’s hold in Valenwood as well as invading my country that makes him a bastard. We were at peace with the Bosmeri people, who are the closest to us in regards to ancestry. He claimed Valenwood and Summerset Isles for himself and thereby dissolved the Thalmor sect at the time. That particular incident has been a thorn in the Aldmeri Dominion’s side since, admittedly.

Because he was a Dragonborn and swept through the continent as a brush fire through dry grass, he was ascended to godhood. Ridiculous,” she repeated, lighting the fire with a spell.

“No, what I have read was that he saved the world from the Thalmor, united the continent, and he reigned for over eighty years with peace and prosperity,” Kaidan argued.

Kaidan tossed to the canteen of water as she tossed him an apple. Despite their growing argument about Talos, they worked together like two pieces of a puzzle fitting together, not recognizing their fluidity with their distractions about theology.

Orenwen scoffed at the idea that Tiber Septim was a hero. “Yes, that is what the Nords will have you believe. What you say is not entirely wrong. It is how he got there; that is his true legacy. A legacy born out of betrayal, murder, and usurping the throne. He used a divine instrument, the Numidium, a Dwemer artifact that defeated my country and Valenwood all for the sake of ‘unification.’ Had he not used Numidium, he would never have defeated us.”

“I have never heard of this Numidium,” Kaidan admitted. “Sounds like a story the Altmer would tell their future Thalmor Justiciars. What is it, then?” 

“As I said, it is a Dwemer artifact. What I have read is Tiber Septim agreed to a truce with Morrowind, I am sure with promises of which he could not deliver. The Tribunal gave him the colossal golem, Numidium, at least a thousand feet tall, as a gift, which in turn made gods out of the Tribunal. It is quite a long story.” Orenwen took a large sip of water and tossed the canteen back to Kaidan.

“I can see how it would aid in a war. But if one is at war, shouldn’t all tools at one’s disposal be used? How can you fault him for trying to win a war?” Kaidan asked, digging in her bag to pull out her cloak, noticing she was shivering, draping it over her shoulders.

Orenwen returned to her rant, pulling her cloak in tighter. The story of Talos was so ingrained in her mind, being taught the horrible truth since she was a child. “I mean, the man was not even a Nord or Atmoran as you people believe. In reality, he was a Breton. His name was Hjalti Early-Bird from High Rock. He gave himself the name Tiber Septim, an Imperial name when he usurped the throne through the assassination of Culhlecain as he was being crowned Emperor, the nerve. Then he gives himself the Nord name Ysmir the Dragon of the North. So many names, one greedy usurper. History tells us, Tiber Septim, was the one who had Cuhlecain assassinated.”

“I have never heard such stories of Talos. It sounds like you were told biased information because he defeated your people, and they are still bitter about it,” Kaidan interjected. 

“I will not deny that it is still a sore spot for my people, especially since the man is revered as a god. To think a mere mortal ascended to godhood to be a part of the Eight Divines. The whole notion is preposterous.”

The whole discussion was starting to irritate Kaidan. He spent his entire life believing in a god that turned out to be just a power-hungry usurper, finding it hard to believe and most likely what the Aldmeri Dominion wishes to be true. The whole notion of losing Talos was the very reason Brynjar, his protector, as such as he was, drank himself to death. Between that and the war had left him damaged.

He took a deep breath to calm himself, looking at her know-it-all face, chin raised in defiance and daring. “Look, I get what you were taught and told. I understand how the Aldmeri Dominion would feel about their defeat from a mere mortal,” he said, purposefully ignoring the fact that her people were also mortals, trying to be reasonable, but couldn’t keep the distaste out of his voice. “But do you have any idea how many Nords fought with the Imperials in the Great War? A brokering of peace was well and good, but to lose their very god after all that death. What did the Imperials lose besides some land and gold? No, it had to be a Nord god. It has caused more suffering than you even realize. 

What was the purpose of the war then? The demands made by the Aldmeri Dominion were rejected and fought over only to find the Emperor signed a treaty and agreed to the very things he fought against! Those people fought for no reason...and lost their god! 

My protector was one of them! He lost his god after fighting in that war and to come home to being afraid for his very life if he dared still pray to Talos. I ended up in the care of a man who, while he did his best with me, was still bitter and became a drunkard in his pain. It is why he is dead! Did you even know the Thalmor watch Talos shrines just to catch a Nord who dares pray? They are either killed outright or taken to be tortured! Did you know that?!”

“I...I did not. I was not high enough on the chain of command to be given reasons for imprisonments,” Orenwen explained weakly.

“There is no excuse for your ignorance! Do you know what I think? I think you chose not to see it. You knew things were wrong, and you chose to ignore it!” Kaidan brushed off the snow when he stood ready to be done and move on.

“Your Talos is not a god!” Orenwen said in her defense, though she felt cruel saying it. If a people forced her to stop believing in her own god, she would be furious. She squashed the thought out of her head.  _ Talos was not a god. _

Orenwen too stood and dusted the snow from her breeches and packed up as Kaidan put out the fire. She handed him his pack, and he helped her strap on her bag, and the two headed out in anger.

Part of her frustration was after they had come to slowly get along, now there was a divide once more. Orenwen knew talking religion was a mistake, but he shouldn’t have mentioned Talos. Soon she realized it wasn’t just frustration because they couldn’t see eye to eye, but she was worried if he prayed or said Talos’ name, the Thalmor would take him away once more, to have another reason to hurt him. Orenwen wanted him to not believe for his own protection. Perhaps she should have told him as much, but she kept silent.

Kaidan stopped Orenwen before she got too far, pulling her by the arm. “Look, it’s clear we are not going to agree on this issue. I’m...still bitter about how Brynjar died.” 

She could see the anguish on his face, the pain. It wasn’t enough that the Thalmor tortured the man, who had been on the run his entire life from them but to lose the only parental figure in his life to them as well. It made her feel all the more terrible. The picture became more apparent as she started to truly understand his hatred of the Thalmor. 

“How did he die?”

“No...I can’t. What I’m trying to say is all people should have a right to believe in what they want. The Nords are not wrong. No one is taking gods away and threatening the lives of those who believe of other races, except the Nords. It is no wonder a war is brewing again. These people have suffered long enough, and they need something to adhere to, something to believe in and give them hope. Talos is that for them. I grew up a Nord and was raised to believe in him, but I’m not a very religious man for many reasons. I just wish you could see their side of things.” 

When he was done with his speech, he walked off, leaving Orenwen to think about what he said as she started to follow.

The two walked in silence for a good hour, and soon to reach High Hrothgar. Kaidan hoped the Greybeards would allow them to pass onward up the top of the mountain, and hoped they could sleep inside the temple for the evening. He didn’t want to sleep on the mountainside in the bitter cold.

Orenwen’s sensitive hearing picked up something that Kaidan could not due to the wind gusting through the mountain. She rushed to catch up to him and placed a gentle hand on his arm, then pressed a finger to her lips. Pointing in the direction of the sound, she readied her spells as Kaidan pulled out his bow and nocked an arrow, letting her take the lead since she could tell where the enemy was.

There it was bouncing on the top of a cliff, fists pounding on the ground grunting was a frost troll. If one didn’t know better, it would appear the creature was in play, encouraging a fellow troll to scamper about in the snow. But one did know better and knew how dangerous they could be. 

Orenwen smiled playfully at Kaidan and punched him in the arm. “Oh look, Kaidan, it’s your hairy cousin,” she whispered teasingly, hoping to ease the tension that had been growing between them, as she blasted it with a fireball.

Kaidan didn’t want to laugh, he wanted to be angry with her, but he couldn’t help it. He had to admit it was funny, though he looked nothing like a troll. If anything, at least he could laugh at himself. As Orenwen blasted the creature, he fired his arrows from a distance. Together they killed the beast.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orenwen had never seen High Hrothgar. One could see the tips of the monastery from down below in the distance when the weather was clear. It was imposing up close, foreboding, and she had to remind herself that only several old monks lived there.

Inside was even worse, dark with very little light except for a torch here and there. In the center were four old men on their knees meditating, for what, Orenwen had no idea.

One of the Greybeards stood, looking exactly like his namesake, and approached the two visitors. 

“Ser Kaidan. Welcome. Where is the Dragonborn?” 

“Thank you, Angier. I am afraid she has chosen her own path and left me behind to find mine,” Kaidan explained.

Orenwen sat quietly to listen to the exchange, not wanting to get involved and ruin things by her lack of knowledge of the Greybeards.

“I see. We generally do not allow visitors, but since you have been here once before, I will allow it,” Angier agreed, his voice slow and deliberate.

“I appreciate that.”

“Why are you here?”

Kaidan pointed at him and Orenwen. “We have been hired to find some unmelting snow on top of the Throat of the World. Is there a way we can get up there? It seems to be in a perpetual storm.”

“You may not. You can stay here for a while then move on your way,” Angier replied, walking away.

“Please,” Orenwen begged. “We appreciate your need for peace and privacy, but a man is dying. My partner and I have retrieved the White Phial, though it is broken. There are several ingredients we need to repair it, unmelting snow being one of them. It’s a matter of life or death. We will retrieve just a little bit and be on our way, though, we may need a place to sleep for the night.”

Angier turned around and scrutinized the Altmer. It was a rare thing to see Mer up in High Hrothgar, now there have been two in just a few months. He looked at his fellow Graybeards, who nodded their heads so slightly if one wasn’t paying attention, would have missed it.

“Very well. You may retrieve the snow and come back quickly. We will clear the way for you. Please be aware there is a dragon who lives up there. You are not to harm him under any circumstance. Is that understood?”

_ Dragon?  _ “Uhm, what if he attacks us?” Kaidan asked.

“I assure you, he will not attack you.”

“Thank you for this,” Orenwen said in earnest.

Kaidan and Orenwen followed the Graybeards outside in the courtyard towards a path to the top of the mountain. The storm was raging at the beginning of the trail as if by magic. Orenwen wondered how she could stare at a storm right before her and have it clear as day in the courtyard. 

The Graybeards simultaneously did a shout, and the storm cleared to reveal a snowy path up the rest of the mountain. 

“That is some of the strangest magic I have ever seen,” said Orenwen, amazed that the storm completely disappeared.

“Aye, I had no idea this storm was created by the Graybeards,” Kaidan concurred.

“Perhaps it is to protect this dragon. I wonder why they are so protective of it. Isn’t the Dragonborn supposed to kill them?”

Kaidan nodded as they made their way up the icy path. “Aye, that is what I thought, but perhaps I’m wrong. Maybe this one is special?”

The path was long and treacherous, both frequently slipping on the icy terrain, and both of them had to periodically help each other up and right themselves each time they slipped. If the storm was still brewing, they would have been blown off the entire mountain itself. Orenwen then had the simple idea of using her fire spell to melt the ice to make walking a bit easier. 

As the path steepened, Orenwen was having a hard time climbing, using all fours to get up to the top. Kaidan had an easier go of it having better boots for the terrain and finally grabbed a muddy hand and pulled her up the rest of the way. 

The two adventurers were out of breath from the high altitude and exertion, having to stop and take in their surroundings. Right before them, just as the Greybeards informed them, sat a dragon. Kaidan wasn’t surprised it was atop a word wall, their favorite place to roost. The creature was different from other dragons as he appeared to be very old with torn wings like weathered parchment and pale in color.

Kaidan and Orenwen eyed the dragon nervously while it eyed them, though it said nothing and did nothing. 

Orenwen dropped her bag and pulled out a glass jar and went to the uppermost part of the mountain, scooping snow into the container. She prayed to Auri-El that it was the very snow they needed. If it was unmelting, then she wouldn’t have to worry about where to stash it and threw it back in her bag.

“Are we done?” asked Kaidan.

“I believe so.”

Never once taking their eyes off the great dragon, they made their way back down to High Hrothgar.

“Well, that was quite the trek. Remind me to never do that again,” Orenwen exclaimed. 

“Aye, well, at least we can say we have been literally on top of the world. Imagining telling  _ that  _ to your grandkids.”

Orenwen looked at Kaidan curiously, a small smile playing on her lips. “Indeed. Is that something you fancy yourself being, a grandfather?”

Kaidan barked a laugh. “I don’t even fancy myself being a father, let alone a grandfather.”

“Why do you laugh? Many men become such.”

“Yes, but with the way I was raised? I’m not sure I’m father material.”

Orenwen didn’t know what he meant by that but shrugged it off. It was his life to choose things such as family or not.

It was evening when they reached High Hrothgar, relieved to be warm again, and have a place to sleep inside instead of in the freezing ice and snow. Even better, there were two bowls of vegetable soup and some water waiting for them.

“Kaidan?”

“Hmmm?”

“Tell me about Brynjar?” Orenwen asked as they were each resting in separate beds but next to each other.

“No,” he replied flatly.

Orenwen was not to be dissuaded. She wanted to know. “Why not? Because of our religious discussion today?”

“Discussion? If we had weapons drawn, it would have been a heated battle.”

“Battle? Oh, come now. I would not go as far as that. Disagreement? Yes. Please tell me.”

“You already know I was raised by him. My mother, according to her letter I found, said she was leaving me with Brynjar or some other man I don’t know. Perhaps he was my father, but she never said.”

“Can I read your letter?”

Kaidan was lying on his back, an arm folded under his head as a pillow, looking at her. “You have become nosy all of a sudden,” he said, if not a bit warily wondering why she wanted to know so much.

“I am nosy by nature. It is why I wanted to go into research and magic. I love learning new things. I am also traveling with you, and I would like to know more about you,” she insisted, curled on her side, staring at him.

“So you can use it against me?” feeling mistrust of her again.

“Kaidan, are you not trusting me because of what happened today? I am sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. I have no intention of returning to the Thalmor and giving away your big secret of who raised you. I want us to be friends.” Orenwen meant this in all sincerity and didn’t want to revert back to him resenting and not trusting her.

“Right, as if…”

Orenwen sat up, angry now. “How many times must I save your life for you to trust me? I have sacrificed everything to give up being a Thalmor, who will also hunt me down and kill me if they find out. I have as much to lose as you! Now I am sorry we do not agree philosophically about our religions, and I am certain there will be other things we do not agree on. That does not mean I am going to betray you! Fine...do not tell me then.”

Orenwen huffed and rolled over on the other side, away from him, angry that he was still not trusting her. Part of her couldn’t blame him after all he had gone through in his life, but she was trying. She didn’t want to return to that life, and she would never betray him. 

“Orenwen…” Kaidan said with a note of guilt in his voice.

“No, no. Please, do not put yourself out. I would not want you to reveal big secrets to the evil Thalmor woman.”   


“I’m s…”

“I am tired. Please stop talking. Goodnight.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Troubled Past


	11. Paradigm Shift

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The two adventurers finally get a break in tensions thanks to Orenwen's well-laid plans, well, more like pushing him into submission. Later Orenwen discovered a darker side to Kaidan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!! <3

In the morning, Kaidan and Orenwen ate their offered breakfast, gave their thanks to the Greybeards, leaving a monetary donation, and made their way down the mountain in silence, back to Ivarstead. The trek was much easier going down for obvious reasons. The morning was brisk and the wind blustery, but Mundus was out, and not a cloud was in the sky.

Orenwen's mood was not improved by the beautiful day. She and Kaidan had made so much progress, and now she felt she had to start all over with him. Granted, it was only grudging respect, but still, it was more than they had before. Now, they weren't even talking, and Orenwen was uncertain how to fix it. She wasn't about to apologize for her beliefs, she wasn't asking him to either. That didn’t mean they still couldn’t get along.

Kaidan walked too far ahead of her, almost as if trying to shake her off, to ditch her. Angry now and not having it, Orenwen gathered some snow, molded it in her gloved hands to form a firm ball, and used her telekinetic spell to throw it at him. She watched the ball arc and landed directly on his head with a soft 'whomp' as the snow rained down his neck and into his armor. 

Kaidan stopped dead in his tracks, a shiver ran through him as the snow went down his back. He looked up to see if a tree used that moment to dump snow on him as they were prone to do when the weather warmed. Wiping it off, he shrugged and moved on again. 

Orenwen, huffing in irritation, threw another ball of snow at the same spot, but this time Kaidan knew it wasn't from any tree since none were hovering over him. He turned around to discover an angry Altmer, forming one more ball in her hands. 

"What was that for!" he yelled at her.

"You, sir, are an asshole!"

Kaidan's eyes couldn't decide whether to be shocked or angry. "I'm an asshole? You're the asshole!"

"I have been struggling to show you I'm not an asshole! That you can trust me and I'm tired of it! How much more do I need to prove to you!" Her voice echoed off the mountainside and used her spell to fling another frozen ball at him, this time it landed square in his face.

Kaidan sputtered out snow, face turning red in anger. "That's it! You're going to get it now!" he informed her as he gathered his own snow and formed it into a ball to retaliate, but not before he ended up with another face full of snow.

"Stop that!" Kaidan yelled, throwing his own ball of snow.

Orenwen saw it coming at her, but it was too fast for her to dodge and landed so hard in her face she fell back on her butt in the snow, wiping the cold ice off her stinging face. As soon as she removed the snow from her eyes, she saw a large and angry Akaviri standing before her— _Uh oh. Perhaps I went too far?_

Kaidan deftly lifted her up, throwing her over his shoulder as she demanded to be put down. "Put me down this instant! Now, you bull-headed oaf! You...you hairless troll!"

He obliged and tossed her in the nearest snowbank. She laid there on her back a moment as the cold soaked into her armor, her face in shock, buried in two feet of snow. But instead of being angry, her face tried to stifle a giggle threatening to escape her lips. Covering her mouth with a hand to hide it, it did nothing to rid the glint of humor in her eyes. Unable to contain it, a snort managed to burst forth. Eventually, belly laughs could be heard echoing off the mountain.

Kaidan wanted to be angry with her, but her laughter was contagious as he found himself unable to contain his own. Finally, he reached out his hand to her, and when she grasped it, he lifted her up to stand, helping to brush snow off of her. 

Orenwen wiped away the tears of laughter and walked on, feeling much better about the day.

Kaidan watched her walk down the path and shook his head in wonder. If anything changed his view of her, it was that laugh. There was something about someone laughing with such ease during a moment of anger that drew him in. He never once thought the Altmer could laugh or enjoy a moment of humor and Orenwen proved him wrong right then and there. She convinced him wrong frequently.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orenwen enjoyed the adventuring, but she was getting tired of all the walking. The Phial repair mission had already taken two weeks, and they were only just reaching the giant's camp. Just once she wanted to ride in a carriage. She decided, with her half of the money, she was going to buy a horse. To ride the country of Skyrim in relative luxury. Sure it wasn't a beautiful carriage with cushioned seats, but she was tired of the blisters on her once elegant feet willing to trade it for blisters on her ass at that point. They still had yet to find a briar heart.

The giant camp was tucked away, surrounded by tall rocks, almost as if the area was chipped away intentionally. It was protected from all sides with only one way in and one way out, like an embrace of stone. Two giant's patrolled their home and protected their mammoths. 

The two climbed to a rocky ledge overlooking the camp. The rocky nook was small, and only Kaidan could see below, trying to figure out how to get in to steal the ground mammoth tusk, or where it even was, without getting killed. All the while, Orenwen kept pestering him to see, brushing her off so he could scan the area.

"Move, you oaf," she whispered, struggling to squeeze in to see. Eventually, Orenwen settled on climbing on top of Kaidan's back to see.

"What are you…off, woman!" Kaidan hissed, though neatly tucked away in the back of his mind, he didn't hate it so much.

"Look, there…" she said, pointing, ignoring his demands. Her keen eyes picked up a large bowl full of white powder tucked away between two large skin-encased mammoth cheese.

"I hate to kill them, but we need that powder," he mumbled.

Orenwen whispered in his ear, sending goosebumps down his arm. "No need to murder the blundering creatures. I have an invisibility spell. Let me sneak in there and take it."

Kaidan nodded in agreement and let her do the work with an 'oof' as she climbed off of him, an elbow digging in his spine. With a muffling spell in one hand and an invisibility spell in the other, she cast her magic and silently walked into the camp. She made not a sound as she sneaked around a giant, trying not to gag at the stench that came off the creature. 

So far, the giants took no notice of her, and she prayed to Auri-El that they wouldn't be alarmed if she pulled out her jar, scooping the dried powdery substance into it. She placed the now full jar into her bag when suddenly her invisibility spell wore off. Orenwen froze in place, looking up at the giant creatures staring at her menacingly, yet no one moved.

She slowly backed out of the camp, hands raised indicating peace, but the giants grumbled menacingly, slamming their large clubs to the ground— _time to run, Orenwen!_ And that she did as turned and high-tailed it out of there, not looking back or checking for Kaidan. She just ran and ran, away from the giants, not caring what direction she was going. 

"Oren! Wait!" Kaidan yelled out, chasing after her. "You can stop now!"

Orenwen slowed down and finally came to a halt, hands on her knees as she caught her breath and stilled her beating heart from fright and exertion. "Is...it...gone?" she asked, out of breath.

"Yes," he replied and suddenly laughed. "I had no idea you could run so fast. Those long legs paid off."

"Indeed. Thank the gods for long legs. I thought that creature was going to club me all the way to Masser!"

"He very well may have if you hadn't run. Did you get it?"

"Yes, it is in my pack. Remind me to never enter a giant's camp again. Not only are they completely frightful, but they are horrid with stink. Between their unwashed bodies, mammoth dung, and stinking mammoth cheese, I wanted to retch."

"Better you than me," Kaidan quipped.

"Thanks a lot. I will remember that the next time."

"Hey, it was your idea."

Suddenly the ground started to shake, and they heard loud grumbling, both wondering if it was an earthquake and the land was going to swallow them whole. Kaidan and Orenwen turned to the sound of their fears to find the two giants had caught up with them.

"Run," was all Kaidan said. Orenwen didn't have to be told twice.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"This place is wretched. I would just want to find the nearest dagger and kill myself if I lived here. Or curl up fetally, never to stop weeping. Sad state, this place is," Orenwen complained when they entered Morthal to restock their supplies.

If Orenwen was moody, Kaidan was downright brooding. But unlike Orenwen, it wasn't the town that had him bothered. It was the massive, imposing statue carved into the mountain in the distance that had his heart skipping beats, struggling not to hyperventilate. 

"Mmm," what all Kaidan could say in response, not really hearing what she was saying.

"Is this place bothering you too?"

"What?"

"Hello...Kaidan," she said, snapping fingers in his face. "I asked if Morthal is bothering you as much as it is me? The place is downright dreary."

"Huh? Oh...no, it's fine."

"Fine?" Orenwen wondered what had gotten into the man if it wasn't the town itself. Shrugging, they headed towards Moorside Inn to get some food and warmth. 

Orenwen sat down at the table across from Kaidan, who's mood had not improved, placing a bottle of mead before him as they waited for their dinner. "Alright, out with it. If it is not this dreadful place, then what has you brooding so?"

Kaidan picked up the bottle and took a long pull of mead, a distraction of sorts while he decided how much he wanted to tell her, if any. What had him so bothered was the statue was a reminder of the darker side of his past. One, he wished he could erase permanently from his mind. 

"It's nothing...just my past deciding it was a good time to haunt me," he replied, giving her some sort of answer so she would stop nagging him.

Orenwen looked up at the ceiling, finger pressed to her lips, lost in thought. "I vaguely remember you mentioning about changing your life for the better. Let me think...ah, yes! 'I am reluctant to turn away someone who wants to change their life for the better. I understand that better than anyone...more than you know.' You're exact words, I believe. I am to assume this change you understand has to do with what is currently haunting your thoughts?"

Kaidan felt his eyes grow wide, not sure if he was impressed or disturbed by her ability to remember everything he said, word for word. "Exact words? How could you remember exact words from weeks ago?"

Orenwen pointed to her head, a look of smugness or pride painted on her face. Kaidan wasn't sure which.

"I have one of those memories. Most Altmer do. Perhaps other Mer do as well, but I have not bothered to ask. We live a long time if we did not retain a good amount of memories, we would forget most of our lives. So, am I correct in my assumption that the two are one and the same?"

Kaidan took another long pull of mead, then leaned back in his chair, hoping to convey a sense of ease. "Aye, you got me...they are one and the same."

"Kaidan, I poured my alcohol-induced heart out to you a while ago, and you sat there putting up with it. The least I could do is return the favor."

He watched her as she was eating, lost in his internal debate on whether he should talk about it or not. It was a dark time in his life, and he knew if he told his story, it would change her view of him, not that he cared all that much, but she was certainly starting to grow on him. Well, he did care a little if he was honest with himself.

"Fine, considering they were my mistakes, perhaps I shouldn't deny them. I didn't handle things well after Brynjar's death and inherited some of his worst habits. I was drinking a lot, taking lots of moon-sugar, one day blurring into another.

I fell into what I thought was a band of outlaws, people like me, people who seemed to be born on the path of destruction and death. They called themselves the Blooded Dawn, who worshiped a Daedric Prince, no less. I foolishly wanted a taste of that power and quickly learned the price."

"A Daedric Prince? These princes and their egos. They do not deserve our attention, let alone our worship. It is no wonder it came at a price."

"Oren, do you want to hear my story or not? I don't need a damned lecture." 

"Apologies. Do go on." She chose to ignore the fact that he had taken up giving her a shorter version of her name recently for some reason.

"I thought I left that part of me long behind, but seeing that statue, it all came flooding back. I suppose it will always be with me. What happened is the very reason I came in search of family and history. To find some kind of purpose." 

Kaidan took another sip of mead only to find his bottle empty. He went to the bar and brought back two more, giving one to Orenwen. 

"The cult worshiped Mehrunes Dagon. Their leader had a large bounty on his head, and I _really_ wanted it. It was hard-fought, but I killed him, and I thought his followers would kill me for it when they started to surround me, and I would have died had they chosen that path. Instead, they honored me; respected me for it. How messed up is that? They brought me into their fold and gave me a place to belong. I had no place in this world, roaming and wandering alone, and they gave me one. I was actually happy for a while."

"Wait, you worshiped the very Daedric Prince who hates all mortals? You do realize he wants mortals dead, right?"

"So do the Thalmor! What's your point? That I'm stupid? Yes, I could have told you that!" he growled, feeling angry, though this time it was directed more at himself.

"I...you are not wrong. I have heard the Thalmor wish the same. They have some insane notion that we can achieve immortality and godhood. Ridiculous. Those that believe that are the exception rather than the rule, Kaidan." 

Kaidan looked at her, almost in sadness. He knew she wasn't stupid, but she definitely had some ignorance about her. _Who am I to say? I joined the Blooded Dawn_. "I doubt that. I suspect most of them believe that. 

Anyway, the Blooded Dawn ruled and thrived on destruction. Purged the old to make way for the new. Kill the weak to make room for the strong. They believed it was a necessary evil. They found beauty in death, torture, and violence...even rivaling the Dark Brotherhood. But really, they were just violent people looking to justify what they did...as I did. I was really no better than them. But then there was one night where I couldn't justify it anymore." 

"I sense a tragedy coming."

"Aye. There was a small estate outside of Leyawiin. We were there to steal supplies, restock…" Kaidan drank more of his mead as an avoidance tactic, but he knew once he started, he was going to have to finish. The whole thing still sickened him. 

Orenwen sat and waited for him to finish, trying to tune out the bard that took the opportunity to sing dreadful songs. It was clear he was struggling with his story. 

"The things that were done to that family. I'm going to spare you the grisly details. I did not participate, but that did not stop the rest from… But I was just as guilty, wasn't I? I didn't stop them or do anything at all. I'm such a fucking coward. I wish I could forget it all, but I don't deserve to, do I? My punishment is to live with it for the rest of my sorry excuse for a life." 

Orenwen was glad he spared her the details. She could barely stomach torture and other atrocities as a Thalmor. 

Kaidan stopped looking at her, unable to. His attempts to do good in his life did nothing to curb his guilt. "Anyway, night after night, I couldn't get their screams out of my head. But I didn't just hear them in my nightmares. Soon they affected my wakefulness. I couldn't remove the horrors from my mind, so the only thing I could think to do was to destroy the entire cult itself...kill them all. 

I had a woman, Rosalind, the cult's priestess who was a master at conjuration. I didn't want her to die when I brought the cult down and thought she would be on my side, thinking she loved me – stupid assumption. I wanted to know if her magic could make me stronger, and she said it could. Instead, she turned her magic on me. She tried to set me in the fires of Oblivion, summoning a dremora to tear the flesh off my bones, and I fought back. Our fight was so brutal, the hideout was destroyed in the battle; I don't know if anyone survived it." 

Orenwen could imagine how horribly he felt at their brutality. She felt similarly at the idea of torture, especially seeing Kaidan's back for the first time knowing her people were involved in that. "Kaidan, you call yourself a coward, but to fight back like that, to right wrongs and better yourself makes you strong and brave." Orenwen reached for his hand for comfort, but he withdrew it. 

"No, I don't deserve understanding. You wanted to know, so I told you." Kaidan gave a bitter laugh, drinking a sip of mead. "I haven't told anyone that story until now." 

"Why don't you deserve it?" she asked, not offended that he withdrew from her.

"Did you not hear my story? Weren't you paying attention? I hated magic and mages for the longest time." 

"You seem to do fine around me and my magic," she corrected.

"Aye, it is only because I kept it hidden from you. That and you being a Thalmor trumped my hate for mages. Admittedly, you have done some good things with it, saving my life being one of them. It made me rethink my prejudices." 

Orenwen stood up, stifling a yawn. "Well, I am certain you will not listen to me or believe me, but I will tell you anyway. You are braver than you give yourself credit, and you are a good person or at least trying to be. So you have a dark side, who does not, these days? Anyway, I am tired and off to bed. I do hope you do not continue to carry the weight of Nirn on your shoulders, as strong as they are." 

Kaidan watched Orenwen walk wobbly back to her room, having too many meads listening to his story. He wasn't ready for bed, so he ordered something more potent, brandy was what he needed. Purchasing the whole bottle, he sat back at his table, propped his feet up, and listened to the terrible bard as he drank away his regret. He ignored the fact that he was falling back into old habits that got him in trouble in the first place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The tavern had shut down, and everyone headed home. Kaidan stumbled into his room, drunk, to pass out. Shutting the door, he wobbled a bit, losing his bearings. He growled at the wall that had the nerve to collide with his body before falling hard to the floor to remove his boots, then plopped into the bed. 

It took a moment in his drunken state to realize someone was in it with him. Kaidan wasn't about to get up to kick the person out since the room was spinning too much. Shrugging, he pulled whoever it was into an embrace and passed out. 

Orenwen woke up in alarm as some man came crashing into her room and fell into her bed, grabbing her. Slowly, she reached under her pillow where she kept her dagger, turned, and held it to the man's throat. Breathing a sigh of relief, she recognized Kaidan. 

"Alright, you bumbling oaf, out! You are in the wrong room!"

All she was rewarded with an unintelligible grunt and another attempt to snuggle. 

"Urgh. I see you have had too much to drink. I should have marched you straight to bed earlier," Orenwen said, though she knew he wasn't listening. 

"Fine, I will just sleep in your room then." 

Orenwen tried to get out of bed before Kaidan pulled her back down. "No, sthay her...need snoggle." 

"Urgh, fine, but if you touch me anywhere you are not supposed to, you will wake up with missing fingers. Understood? Gods, you stink worse than a bandit camp." 

Kaidan just gave her more grunts, hoping that was an acknowledgment. And she grumbled that he wouldn't be snuggling like this was she a man. Or perhaps he would, who knew? 

It took a long while for Orenwen to go back to sleep between Kaidan's heavy arm about her, the stench of booze, and his loud snoring. Eventually, sleep found her, but it was restless.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: A little Vampire quest, because they need more distractions.
> 
> I've started a story with a friend and beta reader that we wrote together about Nocturnal, Gallus, Karliah, and the rest. It's all about a demiprince of Nocturnal's.
> 
> [Daughter of Twilight](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24583165)


	12. Rumors and Hearsay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orenwen wakes up to a similar situation she's been through before with Kaidan, so what makes this time different? The two investigate the murder of a mother and child in Morthal and somehow the two manage to fluster each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of sexual content in the beginning and end.

Eyes fluttered open to dim light and heavy snoring. Orenwen’s head hurt a bit from too much mead from the night before and not sleeping well. It wasn’t painful, just a nagging sensation on either side of her head, which worsened with movement. She didn’t drink that much the night before, but since she typically only had a periodic goblet of wine, her body couldn’t take much alcohol before she felt its effects. The Akaviri’s habits were rubbing off on her.

As her foggy mind cleared, she felt a strange warmth in her chest. Looking down, she saw Kaidan’s face planted between breasts. _Oh, for the love of Auri-El!,_ she griped in her head, but was she really that outraged? A strange warmth traveled to regions that had been too ignored in the past few weeks. _I’m going to have to do something about that_ , she thought, making a mental note to take care of desires the next time she got a bath— _Speaking of which_. 

Orenwen managed to get out of bed without waking up the Akaviri, padding out of the room to see if the inn had a bath. To her delight, they did, and she headed to the cellar to soak in the washbasin being filled with hot water after grabbing some clean smalls and clothes. The scent of mountain flowers permeated through the air carried by the hot steam. 

Undressing, she gagged at the scent of her body odor. Daring a sniff at her armpits, she grimaced, then asked the attendant if they had any razors, which they did. The attendant left to launder her dirty clothes as she began shaving the hair from her legs and armpits. She knew no one would see her legs or care, but she enjoyed the smoothness against the fabric of her clothes and armor. The hair removal from her armpits helped control the odor.

When she was done bathing, she laid back to enjoy the soak and steam penetrating her pores. Soon thoughts strayed to Kaidan’s face tucked away between her breasts. It was strange, she didn’t really think of him in a sexual nature, though he was quite attractive for a Man. She found most Nords to be hairy beasts, but the Akaviri was almost hairless with smooth skin and finding his red, almond-shaped eyes interesting to look at. Orenwen soon found her hand sliding between her legs, lost in fantasies of Kaidan touching her there, licking her. Usually, she fantasized about being ravished in a palace by a couple of gorgeous male Altmer.

While a couple of fingers rolled over her nub, she inserted fingers from her other hand inside her core. Head thrown back against the basin, she moved fingers in and out of her as she rubbed slowly, not wanting to orgasm too quickly. Orenwen wanted to feel the warm sensation as she built up heat and pressure there, not rush it.

_She is wrapped in his strong arms, as Kaidan lays her gently on the bed. She is naked before him, his hardness trying to force its way out of the leather from his breeches as he looks at her, lust in his eyes. He runs calloused hands across her breasts, suckling her nipples as he runs a tongue down her stomach and down between her thighs. He roughly spreads her legs as she gasps in surprise, but she likes his coarseness, it deepens her desire._

_She can feel his hot breath on her, and her breath hitches in anticipation, her fingers tangle in his long, sleek, black hair. The first touch of his tongue sends a jolt through her body as her back arches, her sex pushes forward into his eager mouth. Kaidan’s tongue starts to swirl around her sensitive bundle of nerves, and she can feel herself getting close…_

Orenwen pulses around her fingers as she rubs vigorously until the sensation ebbs. She lies back, almost wanting to sleep, but her heartbeat too heavily against her chest.

_That was precisely what I needed._

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When she returned to her room, Kaidan was still sleeping soundly and snoring. It was getting late, and she knew the alcohol was the reason behind his fatigue. Orenwen tried to ignore the blush creeping up her face as she looked at him, sleeping, remembering the bath. Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to fantasize about the Akaviri. 

Sitting on the side of the bed, she tried to wake him up. “Alright, you hibernating troll. It is time to get up.”

Kaidan just grunted and rolled over away from her. 

“Oh, no, you do not. It is time to get up. It is getting late, and you have already missed breakfast. It is a good thing I saved you some food.”

“I can’t eat,” Kaidan mumbled into the pillow.

“No doubt. I am sure thoughts of half-cooked eggs running all over your meat and bread will do nothing to get you up.”

“If you mention runny eggs again, I’m going to vomit.”

Orenwen stood and sat down on the other side of the bed to face him, placing a hand on his forehead and one on his stomach as she cast her healing spell on him. “You know, I should just let you suffer. It is your own fault for drinking so.”

“Oh, that is so much better. Thanks,” Kaidan sighed. Smacking his lips, he made a grimace. “What a terrible taste.”

“Indeed. I have paid for a bath for you and to have your clothes laundered. Then you can come up to eat. Your breakfast is being kept warm.”

“Since when have you decided to spoil me?” he asked, climbing out of bed, testing his balance.

_Since I orgasmed to fantasies about you in the bath_. “Spoil? I think not. I just want you up, and you are stinking up my room. It usually takes quite a bit of bribing to get a hungover man up and moving. When you are done bathing, we can talk about a job I have arranged. We are getting low on coin.”

“So what’s the job,” Kaidan asked later with a mouth full of egg soaked bread. He felt renewed with his bath and food in his stomach.

“Oh, it is almost like a murder mystery! Sounds exciting, no?”

“No,” he said flatly. “But if it brings us more coin, then so be it.”

“Pfft, you are no fun. Anyway, it is quite a tragedy. There is a house that burned down around the corner. Apparently, a man set his own house afire to kill his wife and daughter just to be with another woman. Disgusting if true. We are to find out the truth of the matter,” she explained.

“Any other details other than what the townsfolk say?” 

Orenwen shrugged, “Rumors are rumors. We are to see if they are true or not. It is said that Hroggar, who lived there with his wife and daughter, moved in with another woman in town the very next day after the fire, his family dead. Sounds suspicious, no?”

“It does. OK, let’s go investigate then.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orenwen looked around the burnt down building. What remained was more ash than wood, not a single piece of furniture left from the blaze. 

Kaidan was kneeling as he sifted through the ashes to find some human bones, lost in thought, wondering who could do such a thing, especially to a mother and child. The skull that lay before his feet made him unnerved, though it was one of an adult rather than a child. Not knowing what possessed him, he picked up the skull, looking at it as if it could provide the answers to the secrets.

He cried out, startled, flinging the skull back into the ash when a ghost of a little girl appeared before his eyes. 

“Who’s there?” the ghost asked. She would have looked like a real child were it not for her ethereal and transparent form.

“I’m Kaidan, and this here is my friend, Oren,” Kaidan answered after her heart calmed down, pointing at the Altmer standing in the entryway. “And who might you be?”

“I’m Helgi, though father says I’m not supposed to talk to strangers. Are you a stranger?”

Kaidan was beginning to wonder if the girl even knew she was no longer alive and that strangers couldn’t hurt her. “I am a friend. Can you tell me what happened here?”

The little ghost looked frightened, trying to recall what happened. “It was the smoke that woke me. It was hot, and I was scared, so I hid. Then it got cold and dark, so I’m not scared anymore. But I’m lonely. Will you two play with me?”

“I’m glad you are not scared anymore, sweetheart,” Orenwen replied, feeling sorry for the child. “We would be happy to play with you, but if we do, can you tell us who set the fire?”

The little ghost girl livened up, excited to have someone to play with. “OK! Let’s play hide and seek! If you can find me, I will tell you. We have to wait for nighttime, though. The other one is playing too, and she can’t come out until it’s dark.”

Kaidan and Orenwen looked at each other, asking the same question silently— _Other one?_

“What do you mean, ‘other one?’” Orenwen asked.

“I can’t tell you. She’s close, and she’ll hear me. But if you find me first, then I can tell you.”

The whole thing sounded so strange. Both Kaidan and Orenwen wondered if this stranger posed a danger to them. Before they could ask any more questions, the girl disappeared.

“Well, that was strange,” Kaidan said, stating the obvious.

“I guess we have to play along. How do you suppose we find a little girl who is now a ghost?”

Kaidan shrugged, “I suppose a graveyard?”

“Good point.”

“I think we need to find where she’s buried.”

“But she said at night, so we may as well do something else to occupy our time.” _Like sex_ , the thought flashed in her mind before she could stop it. She didn’t understand why a simple thought could make her blush, but she felt the heat in her face nonetheless.

Kaidan stood, dusting the ash from his breeches, and looked at Orenwen. He couldn’t hide the curious expression on his face when seeing her golden skin turn orange, avoiding his eyes. A smile crept on his face, thinking it was a perfect moment to tease her, but he stopped himself. There could be only one reason she was blushing so heavily, unable to meet his eyes. 

_Is she thinking inappropriate thoughts when she mentioned occupying our time_? He couldn’t be sure, but the thought was nagging at him. The longer he stared, the more she blushed, avoiding.

_Why is he staring at me like that? Stop staring!_ Orenwen mentally demanded and could feel her face flush even more as it spread to her ears and down her long neck. Unable to take it any longer, she walked away back towards a shop. “I, uhm, need some things,” she yelled back by way of an explanation for her abrupt departure.

Kaidan watched her walk off, noticing for the first time the way she moved, hips swaying. He had always found her beautiful, but it was hard for him to look past the Thalmor in her. As he got to know her, he realized that wasn’t who she was. There wasn’t a desire for her until that moment, seeing her as something else for the first time. He brushed it off. It was dangerous to get involved with a former Thalmor Justiciar. They would hunt him down, and she would be severely punished for it, not that they weren't hunting him anyway. Though the thought lingered, as he watched her enter the shop until he could see her no more.

Orenwen entered the little stop, not that she desperately needed anything, but to get away from Kaidan’s prying and scrutinizing eyes. It was as if he could read her very thoughts. It was intriguing, if not slightly frightening. 

Distracting herself, she roamed around the shop, looking for anything of interest. She didn’t have a lot of coin left, but she felt she had to return to him with something in her hands. Picking up a bar of soap, she brought it to her nose and inhaled— _That smells divine._

“That is the finest soap from Cyrodiil,” claimed the shop owner. “It is made from the highest quality goat’s milk and assorted wildflowers.

“It smells wonderful. Much better than what they provide at the inn.”

The woman scoffed, “Their soap turns the softest skin to sandpaper.”

Orenwen chuckled, “Indeed. I can attest to that. At least I’m clean. How much?”

“Twenty Septims.”

“That much?” Orenwen didn’t know much about haggling since she had servants doing her bidding when she lived with her aunt, but she tried anyway. “I have fifteen.”

The woman looked disappointed, or perhaps it was part of the act. “I’ll tell you what, since I’m in a good mood and all, how about eighteen Septims.”

“Done!” Orenwen exclaimed, not sure if it was a good deal or not, but she really wanted the soap. If anything, it was a good distraction.

Kaidan was reading a book that the innkeeper loaned him as he sipped on a mead when he watched Orenwen walk in. Her step was light, a smile played on her face. _Well, she sure looks happy. I wonder what she bought._

Orenwen sat down next to Kaidan, shoving the bar of soap up his nose. “What do you think?”

“Urgh, I think it smells too flowery,” he answered, but he couldn’t push aside the wish to smell it on her skin. _This is what you have become, Kaidan? You think she has thoughts about you sexually, and now you practically want to rip her clothes off. Get it together!_

“I paid only eighteen Septims for it,” she claimed happily.

Kaidan was sipping on his mead, suddenly choking on it at the ridiculous cost. “Eighteen?! For a little bar of soap? Are you mad?”

Orenwen huffed and put the soap in her bag. “Mad? I will have you know this is made from the finest goat’s milk in all of Cyrodiil.”

He shook his head in pity. “Right...Cyrodiil. I think you’ve been had, Oren.”

“Hrmph, we shall see. As soon as I bathe in it, we can feel how soft my skin is...I mean, uhm...I will feel how soft my skin is,” she stammered, trying to control her restored blush.

“I would be more than happy to test that out for you,” Kaidan replied, not knowing where that came from, but enjoyed watching her blush again.

“As if!” Orenwen huffed once more, moving to sit across from him, distracting herself from all the blushing. _Infuriating man!_ “I never took you for a womanizer!”

Kaidan chuckled at her outburst, wondering if perhaps he shouldn’t tease her so much. “I am not. I am just teasing you, Oren.”

Orenwen found herself strangely disappointed, not minding having her skin touched. She realized her little stint in the bath did nothing to curb her needs. It was going to be a long day and prayed the evening would hurry itself up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As soon as it got dark, Orenwen and Kaidan went in search of Helgi’s grave. Approaching slowly, Kaidan and Orenwen saw a woman digging out a small coffin. _No, nothing suspicious there_. “What are you doing,” Kaidan demanded, appalled that someone would exhume the remains of the deceased.

The woman stood quickly turned towards them and hissed. Her glowing red eyes and long fangs giving away the fact that she was a vampire. Before Kaidan could draw his sword, Orenwen had already blasted the creature with a ball of fire, quickly incinerating her. The creature screamed in pain until she was only dust.

“Vile creatures,” Orenwen spat.

“You found me! She was trying to find me too, but I’m glad you found me first,” the little ghost exclaimed. “Her name was Laelette, and she was told to burn mommy and me, but she didn’t want to. Instead, she wanted to play with me forever. She kissed me on the neck, and I got so cold that the fire didn’t even hurt. She thought she could take me and keep me, but she can’t. I’m all burned up. I’m so tired. I think I’m going to sleep for a while now.” Then she was gone.

“That poor, poor child,” Orenwen sniffled, trying to hold back tears.

“Fucking vampires,” Kaidan spat. “We need to see this Alva. The woman that Helgi’s father moved in with the very next day. All this is suspiciously looking like Alva could be a vampire herself. I wonder if she’s made Hroggar her thrall.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orenwen and Kaidan stumbled into the inn exhausted and covered in vampire blood. They had broken into Alva’s home to find Hroggar, Helgi’s father, swinging an axe at them, ready to defend their home. While anyone would protect their home from intruders, Hroggar’s eyes were dead, unfocused. It was clear he was under the control of a vampire, a thrall. 

The battle with Alva was rough. It was clear she had been one for a long while, centuries perhaps, but the two managed to kill her, then Orenwen incinerated her remains with fire.

A journal was found in her belongings. Kaidan thumbed through it, Orenwen standing a bit too close, reading over his shoulder. It was hard to focus on the words before him with her hovering like that. 

“Oh my,” she said, her loose, stray hairs tickling his neck. He was wondering if she was doing it intentionally, getting him back for the skin touching comment from earlier, but when he turned his head, she was distracted reading the book. “Look there, where it mentions a Movarth. Did he send her to Morthal to turn the entire town? The insanity of it all!”

_Does this woman know nothing of personal boundaries?_ Kaidan snapped the journal closed, anything to get Orenwen from practically breathing down his neck, not that he hated it. “Right, we need to bring this to the Jarl’s attention. She’s going to need to know what is going on, that she has more problems than a burned down house.”

The two mumbled their goodnights and headed into their respective rooms for a much-needed sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The evening was late, and Kaidan stirred awake when he felt someone slide up alongside him in bed, the warm body was soft and definitely feminine. He could smell the familiar scent of flowers from the soap she recently purchased, sleepily wondering when she had time for another bath. Orenwen snuggled up alongside his back and snaked a long arm around his waist, gliding fingernails across his skin to his stomach, goosebumps rose on his flesh, shivering inward. 

He was momentarily frozen in place, unsure what to do about this predicament he found himself in when he would usually jump on this unexpected, yet pleasant turn of events. Throwing caution to the wind, he turned to see Oren, golden eyes glowing, full of mischief and lust. 

“Oren, perhaps…” Kaidan didn’t get to finish what he wanted to tell her before she pressed a finger to his lips, shushing him.

“Now is not the time for words, Kai.”

_Kai?_

Orenwen pressed her soft lips to his, her tongue exploring his mouth. Kaidan let things fall where they may as he pulled her body close to his, slipping a hand under her tunic. She proved to be correct, after all. The soap made her skin feel silky smooth. It was like touching a stone in a river that has been polished to perfection. The kissing became heated, passionate, her nails digging into his scarred flesh.

“I want you,” she claimed, between kisses.

“I want you too, but why now?” He hoped he didn’t ruin things by asking, but he had to know.

“Shut up,” Orenwen demanded.

He didn’t need to talk any more, question, as he removed her clothes. Her tunic was pulled off over her head first and thrown across the room, pleased she didn’t have a breast band on, leaving her breasts free. They weren’t large, but they were perky and fit perfectly in his hand as he lunged for them, nibbling her nipples, sucking. 

“Breeches…” she whispered.

Kaidan didn’t have to be told twice, untying and pulling off her breeches, then smalls. She lay before him in all her golden goodness, almost like a revered statue. His first thought was Dibella. His mind was strangely blank of worry about the next morning when they faced each other. All he could think about was tasting her, being in her.

Once her clothes were off, she lunged at him as they tumbled to the floor. The racket they made probably woke up the other guests, but neither cared at that moment. Orenwen pulled his tunic off, then ran fingers along his muscular arms and chest. “Oh, you are fine, indeed...the muscles. For me to have a man such as you. All I have been doing is thinking about wanting you, having you. How did I get so lucky, Kaidan?”

“Lucky, huh?” he smirked, pleased by her ego-fueling words.

“Kaidan?”

“Yes, you are pretty lucky,” he mumbled, kissing her throat.

“Kaidan!” she said a little louder.

Kaidan’s eyes burst open wide, looking at Orenwen, hair done up in braids, fully clothed. She was hovering over him, grasping his shoulder to wake him up.

“Well, it is about time! I thought you were going to sleep through breakfast again. You did not get up to go drinking again, did you?”

He rubbed his face to get the residual desire from his mind, not daring to get out of bed, still hard under the covers. 

“Uhm, no. I’m awake, so can you leave now?”

“Fine, but do hurry along. We have a busy day today.” As soon as his door was shut, he sat up, rubbing his face once more. _Great, I’m never going to look at her the same after that damned dream._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: 
> 
> I hope you check out my story that I co-wrote with Vokukendov about Gallus, Karliah, a Demiprince of Nocturnal, and Brynjolf.
> 
> [Daughter of Twilight](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24583165)


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan was correct that he was going to struggle to get Orewen out of his mind while they are hired by the Jarl in Morthal to wipe out the Vampire Coven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A small NSFW part at the end.
> 
> Thank you for reading! <3

Orenwen watched Kaidan as he crammed breakfast into his mouth like some starving troll that hadn’t eaten in weeks. She knew he could eat a lot, his large frame demanded it, but he behaved as if he had not eaten in days. Mouthful after mouthful of food went shoveling in, not once looking at her.

“Is this where I become concerned you are not eating enough on our travels? Should I just bring over the entire pot of stew cooking on the hearth over there?”

“Huh?” Kaidan asked with his mouthful, distracted.

Orenwen waved a hand of indifference, “Never mind.”

Something was going on with Kaidan. He was clearing his throat too frequently, rubbing his neck like a nervous tick, he outright refused to look at her. “Kaidan!”

“Huh?”

“Did you lose your brain last night on our way back to the inn? You have only uttered two words this morning, and both were ‘huh.’” she said, doing her best imitation of Kaidan. “What is going on with you?”

“Nothing is going on with me. I’m...just tired still. Let’s go see the Jarl and show her Alva’s journal.” Kaidan abruptly stood and headed out the door, not looking to see if Orenwen was following him or not.

_Was he blushing?_ Orenwen could have sworn the man blushed. What could possibly get a warrior such as Kaidan to blush like that? Between the blushing, his new eating habits, and him not able to look at her left her wondering. Then she thought about her little theatrics in the bath yesterday. Perhaps he did some fantasizing himself last night, resulting in a morning of flustered behavior she knew only too well. Orenwen snorted a laugh, pleased she wasn’t the only one who did it, not feeling so embarrassed anymore.

The old woman was sitting casually on her throne, looking bored, not that there was much going on around Morthal other than Vampires. 

Kaidan waited until he was called upon before he bowed to the Jarl. “There is some troubling news going on in Morthal, my Jarl.”

“I see. Well, go on then. Spit it out,” she ordered.

“I found this. Alva’s journal. It appears she was involved in the house fire.”

“Let me see that.” Jarl Idgrod skimmed through the journal, her face in disgust. “That traitorous bitch! Morthal owes you a debt. Aslfur, please see that these two are paid,” she said, addressing her husband and housecarl.

“Thank you, my Jarl,” Kaidan bowed once more, accepting the coin purse, then walked off.

“I am not done with you, son,” the Jarl called out. When Kaidan turned around, she explained what she needed. “I would like you to go to this Movarth’s lair and clean it out of the vampires. You will be paid well.”

Kaidan looked back at Orenwen questioningly, who had been listening to the entire exchange quietly. She shrugged, indicating it didn’t matter one way or the other. That he could choose what to do. Kaidan turned back to address the Jarl, “It will be done.”

“How much did she pay us for Alva?” Orenwen asked as soon as they left the longhouse. 

Counting it, he pulled out half the coins and handed them to Orenwen. “Six hundred Septim. I just gave you half.”

“Not bad for killing a vampire. Hopefully, we will get more killing a whole lair of them. Which will be helpful so we can move on our way and finally get that briar heart we need.”

Orenwen had some sort of smudge on her cheek, Kaidan noticed, while she was talking. He absently wiped it off with a thumb, then froze, feeling the heat creep in his face once more. “Uhm, ah, sorry, you uhm, had a smudge. I, ah, know you like to be clean,” he explained, stammering. As a distraction, he dug in his pack for the map to see how far the cave was located.

Orenwen watched the Akaviri in his nervous blushing, wondering what had gotten into him. It was okay that he brushed away some dirt, but she wondered why he was so embarrassed by it. Normally she would have teased the man, but something told her to leave him alone, to not make him feel worse.

“Kaidan…” She said his name, but she didn’t know what she was planning to say or ask.

“Let’s go. We need to head North East,” he said, changing the subject while internally berating himself.

The cave was only a couple of miles away, and it didn’t take them long to reach it. Both of them hid behind a cropping of stone and rock, inspecting the entrance to the cave. The place appeared free of sentries.

“There won’t be vampires out during the day, but that is why they have thralls, and none seem to be guarding the place at the moment, strange,” Kaidan informed her. “Let’s go in quietly. We don’t know how many of these vamps are in there. The last thing we want is to be surrounded, or worse turned.”

“Sounds like a plan. I have a muffle spell I can use on both of us to keep our feet silent,” Orenwen suggested.

The cave was dark when they entered, but there was light up ahead. Orenwen cast her muffle spell to protect them as they proceeded, but opted out of a mage light to not give away their location. 

It looked as though the cave was well-established with scaffolding set into the cave walls with torches scattered throughout. It made walking easy, but they had to be careful to keep the wood from creaking underneath their feet. It was cold and dank, the smell of dead flesh permeated the damp air. 

The frost spiders guarding the entrance were easy to dispatch with a couple of well-placed arrows. Then further in, there was a vampire’s thrall supposedly guarding the place, but he was distracted sitting at a table eating. Orenwen cast a paralysis spell on the man to ensure he didn’t get up as Kaidan stabbed the man through the chest with his sword. It seemed like a cold and calloused move, but a thrall had no control over themselves and would fight to the death.

“Oh, this is truly vile. Look at all the bloody bones over there in a pile, discarded as if these people were mere chicken bones,” Orenwen whispered, covering her mouth as if she might retch right there. “Surely these creatures own a shovel. No wonder it smells so foul in here.”

Kaidan said nothing but nodded in acknowledgment, focused on the task at hand.

Voices could be heard the deeper they went in. There was talk about treasures off of the dead bodies as they dug out a mass grave. Because there were only two of them, Orenwen cast her paralysis spell once more for Kaidan to efficiently dispatch with his sword.

“See, they can bury,” she said, wondering why they chose to bury some but not others. Maybe the staff was complaining about the rank odor.”

Kaidan could feel soft fingers grasping his hand as Orenwen pulled him over to a table pointing. Her touch sent a shiver through him, distracting him. Despite his need to stay focused, Kaidan was flooded with thoughts of his dream about her, unable to shake it from his mind. 

“I think these vampires will be dead soon and have no use for the treasures before us. We might as well help ourselves, yes?”

Kaidan shrugged, unable to find his voice, her touch still lingered on his fingers like electricity.

Orenwen quickly pocketed Septims, a couple of gems, a beautiful ebony dagger she thrust into her boot. “Let’s go.”

The rocky pathway soon led to more scaffolding. Kaidan pointed up that he would go up top while she stayed down below. Orenwen cast a muffle spell once more as Kaidan climbed the scaffolding. She walked forward, back pressed up against the moldy stone, and peeked around the corner. 

Their sneaking was useless as a vampire sitting at the head of the table crunching on some bloody human bones saw Orenwen and blasted her with some strange spell she didn’t recognize. She put up her ward spell just in time to deflect it as it bounced harmlessly away from her. Arrows were flying about the cavernous dining hall, assuming it was Kaidan, but they kept missing, unable to match the speed with which the vampire moved. 

Soon other vampires made their appearance from all the noise that was being made echoing through the cave. Luck would have it, three vampires that made their appearance were clustered together, allowing Orenwen to blast them with her telekinesis spell, flinging them back against the cave walls.

“Kaidan, kill them before they recover,” Orenwen shouted at him, who fired his arrows at the fallen creatures, managing to kill two of them. She threw up her ward once more as the older vampire fired more spells in her direction, realizing it was a spell to change her to one of them. Not having any cure disease potions, she had to protect herself.

Orenwen cast an invisibility spell and silently moved to the other side of the cave, hearing the vampire demanding to know where she went as if she would seriously reveal herself to him. As soon as she reappeared, she blasted the creature with a fireball, sending him sprawling backward on fire. His screams were unlike she had ever heard as he burned to death, the sounds reverberated through the cave, ringing in her ears as he crumbled to ash.

Looking for Kaidan and watching the vampire burn, Orenwen was distracted by the thrall sneaking into the cavern. A well-placed arrow landed in her stomach as she cried out and fell to her knees. Bleeding with shaking hands, she attempted to pull it out, which resulted in her nearly passing out. If she could just pull it out, she could heal herself. Not knowing what to do, she whimpered in pain. Flashes of Kaidan getting shot, and it took three arrows, among other wounds to bring him down. Her pain exacerbated by her frustration to not even handle one arrow.

Orenwen vaguely noted that the battle must have been over for all she could hear were her moans and whimpers. Tears slipped out of her eyes when she saw Kaidan running in her direction with a face full of worry. 

After Kaidan killed the vampires, he watched helplessly as Orenwen was shot with an arrow. He wanted to rush to her side but had to take care of the thrall first. His arrow made its mark on the thrall’s head, killing him instantly. Kaidan didn’t even think when he rushed to her and ran a gentle hand on her face. “Are you OK? No...stupid question. Of course, you’re not OK. I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to pull this out. It’s going to hurt like a bitch.”

Orenwen bit her lip and nodded through tear-filled eyes, blurring her vision. “Just do it. I tried to do it myself, but I couldn’t.”

“I’m going to count to three and pull it out.”

Orenwen just nodded.

“One…” 

She screamed when the arrow was ripped out of her, tears spilling down her face as she took a shaky and glowing hand to her wound, feeling it stitch up from the inside out. Orenwen mewled in relief from the pain.

“What happened to three?” she bemoaned, falling on her back on the ground.

Kaidan held up two fingers on each hand representing quotes, a smile on his face, though it wasn’t out of smugness, glad she wasn’t seriously hurt. “‘It hurts less when you do not know it is coming.’ Your words, right?”

“Fair enough,” she groaned. “I get it. Payback, right?”

Standing, Kaidan chuckled and hoisted Orenwen up to stand and dusted debris off the back of her jacket. “No, it’s not payback. Are you OK now? Ready to go?”

Orenwen opened her jacket to look at her tunic. “Tsk, I am going to have to get a new tunic now,” she complained, looking at the bloodstained hole, poking fingers through it.

“We should make enough Septims for one when we get back to Morthal.”

“What we are doing with our coin is get some horses. I am tired of walking all over this Gods forsaken frozen country, but yes, a new tunic will be in order.”

“Horses? I think we should save our money. We don’t know when we will make some more between getting the briar heart and heading all the way back to Windhelm.”

Orenwen dusted off her bottom and buckled her jacket back up. “Well, I am getting a horse. My poor feet cannot take much more abuse. I have blisters on my blisters.”

“Fine, I will go in for half to buy one horse. We can ride together. How about that.”

“Deal, as long as my poor feet can rest.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaidan and Orenwen made a thousand Septim for the job. That was five hundred each. Morthal had proved to be quite profitable, and the people were appreciative that the vampire problem was resolved. Though many were shocked to find Alva was also a vampire. They never guessed, but of course, most of the people, especially the men, had lusted after her.

They headed straight to the stables to buy themselves a horse for the rest of their trip. It wasn’t cheap as they blew half of the coins they made from the vampire job. It was a beautiful dapple gray mare with a black main Orenwen named Bella.

“Bella is a lovely name,” Kaidan said, surprised. He ignorantly thought she would pick something ‘Thalmorish.’

“It means ‘storm’ in Aldmeris. She looks like a storm, does she not?”

“She certainly does.”

Both of them had bathed and eaten dinner as they sat quietly at a table, both reading books by the fire. Orenwen, uncharacteristically, had her feet propped up on another chair, book on her lap as she absently twirled a strand of hair between fingers, nibbling on her bottom lip.

Kaidan was trying to read, but he couldn’t focus on the story as he kept peaking over his own book, trying to hide the fact he was staring at her. She had her new tunic on which was a lovely pale green that looked lovely against her golden skin and ash blonde hair. He was cursing his mind for being unable to get her out of his head since his dream last night. He tried not to focus on the details of the dream from the night before, attempting to get the vision from his head, but the feeling of it lingered. It had felt so real. 

He felt the best course of action was to reign it all in and not do anything about it. He made that mistake once already with the Dragonborn. He was starting to enjoy Orenwen’s company and didn’t want her to leave. They strangely worked well together and got along relatively well when they weren’t arguing, but they have done a lot less of that after their time spent in High Hrothgar.

All of his rational decision-making did nothing to curb the peeks and stares at her while she read. Kaidan always envisioned the Thalmor or Altmer, in general, to be stiff, unable to relax, and here Orenwen was, being comfortable and improper with her feet on the chair. She really needed to stop twirling her hair and biting that lip, he bemoaned in his head.

The smell of her new soap penetrated his nose, and he inhaled deeply while he sipped on his mead. His thought drifted back to his dream, remembering the softness of her skin. The urge to touch her hand or arm to see if the soap truly worked was hard to control. He smirked behind his book, finding a way to do just that. _Just don’t be an idiot when you ask, and try not to stammer like an idiot._

“So, uhm, I can smell your new soap. I have to admit it does smell good after all.”

Orenwen looked at him, giving him a toothy smile. “You like it? I do too!”

“Was it worth all that money? Is it the best soap in _all_ of Cyrodiil?”

“You want to touch it, don’t you. That wonder tickling in the back of your mind like an itch you cannot reach, that desire to know if I truly am as soft as I claim I would be. Tell me I am wrong.”

Kaidan laughed away his nervousness, playing along so he could still achieve the touch without looking desperate. “You got me! You have me all curious now.” 

“I aim to please,” Orenwen said as she rolled up the sleeve of her tunic, holding out her arm for him to reach and touch.

Kaidan reached out, trying to still the shaking hand and not appear to be as nervous as he felt. He didn’t know why something so simple could make him feel that way. _It is because you are starting to become interested in her_. Any other day before, it wouldn’t have mattered.

Fingertips to forearm as he slid back and forth across her skin. Her skin was softer than he could have imagined, even in his dream. He had nothing to compare it to, not having felt her arm before, but it could have been the soap. He had a feeling her skin was always soft. 

Not wanting to linger, he removed his hand and grunted. “Uhmhm, yes, very soft,” he said, clearing his throat with a cough, and went back to reading his book. “I guess it was worth the eighteen Septim.”

While touching her satiated his curiosity, it did nothing to help his other dilemma, especially with knowing how soft she really was. Her skin was like the most exquisite velvet. _I wonder if her hair is as soft...Stop it, Kaidan. Enough._

“Well, I’m going to go to bed now,” Kaidan announced, slamming his book shut, needing to get away from her and inappropriate thoughts.

“Already? It is still relatively early in the evening.”

Kaidan made a show of how tired he was by stretching and yawning. “Yeah, but it was a long day, and now I’m tired.”

“Very well, then. Good night,” Orenwen said, going back to her book.

“Night.”

Kaidan entered his room, closed the door, and ran a frustrated hand through his long hair. Perhaps touching her wasn’t the best idea. He thought by doing so would curb his curiosity, but instead, he wanted to touch her even more.

_Fuck it!_ Kaidan got fully undressed and into bed, covering himself in the blanket. He was at least going to relieve himself. That should help.

Closing his eyes, he tried to recall the dream from the night before. His brain skimmed the scene as he would skim a book and came to the point before he was woken up, deciding to finish the dream in his mind instead.

The vision of Orenwen’s golden goddess-like body made him quickly harden in his hand as he started to stroke. Now, where was I?

_“How did I get so lucky?” Orenwen asked, running her hands along his chest and biceps. Her hands moved upward, clasping her hands in his face to pull him in for another kiss. “I want you in me,” she whispered, shoving him back on the hard floor. “But first things first.”_

_Orenwen slipped down his body, running a long tongue down his flesh, sending shivers through his body, and it wasn’t from the cold. Her warm breath was like a caress along his shaft and left him twitching in anticipation of her lips wrapped around him._

_He sat upon his elbows to watch her, hissing as her long tongue grazed along his entire member, watching him look at her. The tongue swirled on his sensitive tip before she engulfed him entirely in her wet mouth. Kaidan refused to take his eyes off of her despite wanting to lie back and feel everything she was doing to him._

_Her lips tightened as she moved up and down, tongue in all the right places, feeling himself getting close. The warmth spread, and the sensations culminated as she focused on his tip, using her hand to do the rest. The explosion came suddenly as he pulsated into her eager mouth…_

That was not nearly relieving enough as he thought it would be. Now he worried, even more, he wouldn’t be able to stop thinking about Orenwen in a sexual nature, but his release allowed him to fall asleep quickly into a deep and dreamless sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaidan’s eyes fluttered open in the morning to see Orenwen on his bed, looking at him with eyes of concern. Her hand rested on his forehead as if checking a child for fever.

“Kaidan, what is going on? Are you coming down with something?” she asked, running her hand down to his cheek.

“No...well, I don’t think so. Why?”

“This is the third time you have overslept. It is unlike you. The first time was understandable, but the last two mornings? No. But I do not feel a fever or sickness. Perhaps you are not sick.”

Orenwen removed her hand from his face and placed it absent-mindedly on his covered chest, still eyeing him with concern.

He was afraid if she touched him anymore, he wouldn’t ever be able to get out of bed. Removing her hand from his chest, he sat up, realizing he was still naked and pulled the covers tight around him.

“No, I have just been sleeping well, perhaps too well,” he lamely explained.

“Very well, then. As long as you are feeling OK. I assume once we have to sleep outside once more, you will be back to normal.”

He had forgotten about sleeping outside, where they shared a tent together. He would just have to try to sleep as far away from her as possible.

“Nope, I’m fine. I will be out shortly if you wouldn’t mind giving me some privacy.”

“Good. I am eager to move on and get this briar heart mission over with.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Deadly Daedra
> 
> I hope you check out my story that I co-wrote with Vokukendov about Gallus, Karliah, a Demiprince of Nocturnal, and Brynjolf.
> 
> [Daughter of Twilight](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24583165)


	14. Daedric Nightmares

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan's Blooded Dawn membership may have expired, but they don't let go so easily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is fairly canon for Kaidan's questline, but now he's got Orenwen on his side.

Orenwen wanted to retrieve Bella herself out of the stables. She had already fallen in love with the beautiful animal, placing a kiss on the horse's nose as she cooed while putting on a saddle and the reins. 

Kaidan was smiling at Orenwen's back, listening to all the baby talk and watching her kiss the horse. Just one more thing to throw off his perception of Altmer. Though, he did wonder if it really wasn't just her. She was not only trained to be a Thalmor, but she was raised by Elenwen, the Thalmor Ambassador. By all rights, Orenwen should be a horrible person, but she wasn't. Perhaps it was the short time she spent with her parents, or she had their traits. It felt like every day, he was learning something new about the woman...

"Kaidan… traitor...," said a gravely and low voice from behind, sending Kaidan instantly on guard. The sudden appearance of someone startled Bella as she reared up, neighing, almost landing on Orenwen, who tried to soothe the horse.

Kaidan quickly drew his sword and turned around to find himself face to face with a Dremora. It's black and red flesh and horns, giving it an other-worldly appearance, sinister. The creature was armed and ready with a deadly Daedric sword.

"What? A Dremora?" Kaidan asked, staring at the creature, wondering how it knew his name. Thoughts ran through his mind like a rushing river trying to grasp at answers.

"Lord Dagon demands reparations! He will claim your soul and feast on all those you care about!" the creature demanded, the voice in conjunction with its appearance made it all the more sinister. 

Kaidan could feel Orenwen by his side, hands ready with spells, but not saying anything, following Kaidan's lead.

"Dagon?" Kaidan whispered a tinge of fear in his voice. "I'm not a puppet of the beast anymore. Tell me who summoned you!"

"The time for talk is done. Now you bleed."

The Dremora downward cut his sharp blade at Kaidan, who jumped out of the way before he was sliced in two. But the creature was no match for Orenwen's magic. It was just a summoned creature, after all. She used her paralysis spell on it as Kaidan swung his sword in a horizontal cut, lobbing off the creature's head. It crumbled to the ground while Kaidan mumbled a slew of curses.

"What is going on, Kaidan? How did it know your name?" Orenwen asked.

"Dammit! I thought I had left this all behind me! I thought…Fuck!"

"Do you know why it came for you?"

"You heard what it said. It came for revenge. I crossed a Daedric Prince. Why would I even think his followers would let me go and live my life?" he spat, seething in anger he hadn't felt since the Thalmor. He wondered if he would ever be free of either, to live his life in peace, free from being hunted.

"Who could have summoned it, do you think?"

Kaidan kneeled down, inspecting the dead creature, looking for some clue. "It might have been any one of Dagon's followers, even one of my old friends, if one could call them that, from the Blooded Dawn."

"You mention that woman, what was her name...Rosa…"

"Rosalind."

"Yes, did you not say she excelled in conjuration magic?"

"Yes, she was. If she survived that night...it would be something she would do. I wouldn't put it past her." The more Kaidan thought about it, the more he believed Rosalind was alive and well. 

Orenwen watched Kaidan's face, his eyes cycled through every negative emotion she could think of. "So, what do we do now?" she asked thoughts of the briar heart quest gone from her mind.

"One thing I know for certain is I cannot turn my back on this, not this time. These cultists will never stop coming after me if I don't do something about it. Gods be damned! Between the Blooded Dawn and the Thalmor, I'm going to be hunted for the rest of my life...Fuck! Growing up with Brynjar has shown me that. I have been literally running my entire life!"

Orenwen grasped Kaidan by the shoulders, forcing him to look at her. "Then we go after them. You and me. Let us at least get one enemy off of your back."

Kaidan looked at her strangely, the appreciativeness he felt from her words he couldn't convey. To feel not alone in this was a gift, but he couldn't drag her into his mess. He got himself into it, he was going to get himself out of it, alone.

"No! I appreciate your words and support, but I cannot drag you into this. You stay here. I'm going to look for Rosalind and face her once more. I don't want to make you another regret. I will come back to you when I'm done...if I come back. If I do not come back to you in three days' time, move on without me. I will most likely be dead anyway. Gods dammit!"

"Kaidan, let us please take a step back and think about this more level-headedly. You are full of anger right now. The last thing you want to do is face her full of rage. You will most certainly die. One thing I learned in my training is to not face a strong enemy alone and full of anger. Do not take unnecessary or uncalculated risks. If you have an ally, use them."

"But…"

"No 'buts,'" she said. 

Orenwen grabbed Kaidan's hand and led him to a small field full of grass away from town, pulling him down to sit. He was reluctant, impatient to go after Rosalind. "Sit Kaidan...please. Just for a moment. Rosalind isn’t going anywhere since she’s most likely expecting you."

Groaning, he complied as he sat down in front of her, crossing his legs like she was. "What is the point…"

"Shush. Give me your hands." Orenwen held out both hands, and he placed his hands in hers. She grasped them lightly and told him to close his eyes.

"Urgh, fine, but it's a waste of time."

"Trust me, it is not a waste of time. Now be quiet, close your eyes and breathe like I do...slowly in through the mouth and slowly out of the nose. Keep your back straight, but relaxed. Feel all your limbs loosen up with each breath. Clear your mind...in and out. In and out."

Kaidan listened to Orenwen's words, feeling her soft, warm hands in his. Soon all he could think about was her and her hands. Listening to her voice and breathing as she was, feeling her touch eased his troubled mind, and he could feel himself start to relax and calm down. His thoughts began to provide more pleasant images, images of Orenwen, her naked, warm, and soft body holding him.

Orenwen removed her hands from Kaidan's and opened her eyes. "How do you feel?"

He felt strangely empty without her hands in his, wanting to hold them a bit longer. "Yes, that was...that worked pretty well."

She gave him a bright smile, "Good. Now, let us kill that vile woman then. You and me...together. We are friends, partners. We are in this together. If she is as good at magic as you claim, you will need my help. If you have not noticed, I am fairly decent with a spell or two."

"Aye, I noticed more than that," Kaidan said, realizing his words came out wrong, but she didn't seem to notice or chose to ignore it.

"Where should we start looking for her, then?"

Kaidan stood and pointed towards the mountain. "There at the Mehrunes Dagon shrine. I have no doubt she is there or somewhere near it."

Orenwen raised her hand for Kaidan to help her stand. "Let us go, then.".

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It took only a couple of hours to walk towards the shrine. Neither of them would have known where to look or go exactly. It was all the blood around a cave at the base of the mountain that gave it away. Not one bit of snow was untouched by red. The cave was spattered in blood almost purposefully as if in an invitation. It was as if Rosalind was intentionally drawing Kaidan to her.

"She always did love to wallow in blood," Kaidan said, inspecting the cave.

"Lovely. You said you loved this woman, did you?"

He breathed out a laugh, but it had no humor behind it. "Aye, I thought I did. I was clearly stupid."

"Well, not that I have been in love too often, but it does tend to make us less intelligent. I am not sure why that is," Orenwen explained.

"You're just being kind. This really was one of the more regretful things I have ever done."

"Kaidan, please try not to be too hard on yourself. It is over, and you are doing all that you can to be a better person, as am I. Now if you are done beating yourself up, let us go and kill this bitch."

He watched her walk into the cave, casting a mage light. She was giving him more credit than he deserved, but perhaps she was right. If she could move on from her Thalmor life, perhaps he could move on from his.

The cave was no less covered in gore. Kaidan had seen a lot of blood in his life, but this was more than he had ever seen. Bones, skulls, gore littered the entire cave. 

"Someone has been busy," Orenwen whispered. Her words came off as indifferent, but she couldn't mask the slight fear and disgust in her voice.

"Aye…"

Sword drawn, spell cast, the two approached an ancient door, no less bloody. Kaidan reached out to open it before Orenwen stopped him, shaking her head. He watched her cast a spell, eyes closed, then nodded at him. "I wanted to make sure it wasn't cast with some sort of dangerous spell," she whispered.

Despite the knowledge, they would be faced with more gore and blood, the sight before them left them in shock. It was some sort of room or temple. Bodies were filled in the center in various states of decomposition. There were hundreds, no, thousands of them and more lay piled haphazardly in corners and against walls. 

At the back of the room, stood a beautiful blond woman in revealing red mages robes. She was barefoot, feet bloody from the pools on the ground, half of her flesh looked as if it had been scorched, but she didn't appear to be in any pain.

"Rosalind…"

"I was starting to think I would have to come collect you myself," Rosalind said, picking an imaginary piece of lint off of her sleeve.

"So, it is you…"

"You don't sound surprised. I'm not sure if that surprises me or if I should even care."

"I might have been, if you didn't make yourself so obvious, sending a dremora out to do your dirty work for you. You'd even kill me by proxy."

Rosalind waved a hand of indifference, much like Orenwen liked to do. "Tsk, kill you? No, darling, not kill you." She dug a nail into her fingernail, cleaning it. "Maim you, perhaps, incapacitate you. But I couldn't kill you, not until I had you here. Now you are, and you even brought me a little friend to play with. But she's not the Dragonborn. Where is she? I was supposed to be rewarded for your sacrifice. I suppose your little girlfriend here will do."

Kaidan was starting to feel the anger again and worked on his breathing, as Orenwen showed him earlier. "As deranged as you ever were...how did you find me?"

Orenwen was watching the exchange, wishing Kaidan would quit talking to the crazy woman and be done with it. No good could come out of this conversation, but she wasn't going to intervene until he needed her.

"Lord Dagon still speaks to me. He whispered of your arrival at his shrine. I wondered, hoped even, that you might have returned, well… I see that is not the case. It was easy to follow the red-eyed swordsman—a man with a crimson tattoo down over his face. 

But I see you have been busy, Kaidan. I see you have a new friend here—she's quite lovely, I have to admit. I might have been jealous once upon a time. Is she a new lover then? Does your lover even know about you? It will be a shame to kill her… Oh, who am I kidding? It will bring me great pleasure."

"We are not lovers, you demented whore," Orenwen spat. She wasn't angry at the accusation, just at her taunting.

Rosalind looked pleased by Orenwen's response. "Hmmm, perhaps not, but if I know my Kaidan, he wishes it were so. It is written all over his face. Don't worry, dearest Kaidan… I will relay each and every one of your sins to her when I rip the still-beating heart from her chest." Her taunting ended with a chuckle. It was almost a girlish giggle, and one might forget she was a deranged killer, were it not for all the blood and gore in the room.

Orenwen had about enough of the deranged woman. "Kaidan, stop talking to her!"

"You won't live long enough to try, you psychotic bitch!" Kaidan yelled, not hearing Orenwen, so focused on Rosalind.

_Calm yourself, Kaidan. Do not give her what she wants_ , Orenwen thought, wishing she could convey those words to his mind.

Rosalind scoffed at him, clapping slowly, taunting. "There he is, there's that bloodthirsty man I knew. Do you recall what you asked of me the last night we were ever together? You wanted me to use my magic to make you stronger.

Molag Baal has his vampires, Hircine, his werewolves… You were ready to trade what humanity you had left just to destroy our clan. Ha, and you call me the psychotic one? Still, your idea wasn't without merit. With every sacrifice, my power grows, and my morality ebbs. Now, let's give this a fulfilling end, shall we?"

Rosalind decided to attack the female elf first. With her death, she knew it would break Kaidan, making it easier to kill him. She had a hard time trying to kill him last time, and he nearly defeated her then. Rosalind had been accumulating power with thousands of sacrifices to Mehrunes Dagon, making her more powerful than ever. She had one chance to kill the woman before Kaidan focused his attention on her, but she underestimated the woman's magic. Her fireball slamming into the elf's ward harmlessly.

The deranged woman conjured a dremora sending it after Kaidan to distract him as she attempted to attack the elf once more. Enveloping her body in a cloak of fire, she sent wave after wave of electricity at the elf, who flung a double-handed telekinesis spell at Rosalind, slamming her back against the bloody stone wall, knocking the wind out of her as her fire cloak was broken. Cursing, she cast it once more, this time trying to envelop the elf in a wall of fire. 

Orenwen cast her frost spell to put out the fire, and instead of casting another destruction spell at Rosalind, she cast her invisibility spell. If she could get around another area, closer to the woman, she could kill her.

Kaidan had defeated the dremora easily enough, taking the opportunity to attack Rosalind as she was distracted with Orenwen's invisibility. It proved challenging to move around with all the bloody corpses lying about, slipping a couple of times in the slick blood. He pulled out his bow and arrows, not wanting to get close to her. It was easier to dodge her spells at a distance. 

"Your little girlfriend has fled, Kaidan. She's as much a coward as you," Rosalind taunted.

Kaidan ignored her, not saying anything, knowing Orenwen wouldn't abandon him as he fired arrow after arrow. Rosalind was spending more time dodging and deflecting the arrows than she was casting spells. He could see her mounting frustration at not being able to kill him. She had hoped her additional power would have made it easy to kill the Akaviri.

Kaidan cursed when his hand came up empty of arrows and withdrew his sword once more, inching his way towards Rosalind, now starting to wonder what happened to Orenwen.

Rosalind smirked, cocky, knowing she had a better chance now that Kaidan was forced to melee with her. She cast a fireball spell with two hands, but before she could fling it towards Kaidan, she looked down to see an ethereal sword suddenly appear protruding out of her chest. 

Orenwen yanked her conjured sword out of the vile woman's chest and was about to kill before she heard Kaidan telling her to stop.

"I want to do it. Rosalind needs to die by my hand," Kaidan demanded.

Orenwen took a step back, allowing him to do the honors. Rosalind was on her knees, scowling at Kaidan, grasping her bleeding chest.

"This isn't over, Kaidan! Lord Dagon knows I serve him and will bring me back to finish you!" Rosalind looked confident, but her voice conveyed doubt. She should have easily defeated Kaidan.

"Tell him, I said hello." Kaidan brought his sword down and across, watching Rosalind's head roll to the ground. Just one more body among thousands.

"Bitch!" Kaidan yelled panting. Wiping the blood off his sword on Rosalind's robes, he sheathed it on his back. "It's actually over. I thought I would be more relieved."

Orenwen shook her head, a bit wide-eyed. "Are all your ex-lovers this crazy?"

Kaidan barked a laugh. "Well, she was the only Daedra-worshiping murderer. When I say that out loud now, it… it sounds awful."

"You think? Are you sorry she is dead?"

Kaidan looked around the temple in disgust, shaking his head. "I might have been, but the moment she threatened… well, it doesn't matter. She's gone, and I'm glad to be done with it and free from her."

"What were her plans, do you think? Just to kill you?" Orenwen asked, not sure she really wanted an answer.

"Rosalind was clearly a fanatic. I guess by making sacrifices of us, she hoped to win Dagon's favor, and be transformed into something inhuman. Perhaps he wasn't watching her back as much as she thought."

"It must have been working. Her body looked like it was breaking apart, burning from within."

Kaidan started heading towards the door to leave the foul place behind him forever. "She's dead now. We have spent long enough in my past… that and all these bodies make for poor company.

"Indeed."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was evening when Orenwen and Kaidan returned to Morthal, deciding to stay one more night. There was no point in traveling in the dark if they didn't have to. 

Kaidan ate his stew and drank his mead in silence. He should have been happy Rosalind was finally dead, that she was the one who had been after him and no one else. It was over. But he couldn't shake the fact that none of it would have happened had he not joined the cult in the first place. He wanted a place to belong, and he found it for a while, but it was dysfunctional, evil. 

All this time, he had berated Orenwen and her choices when all along he wasn't much better. But it wasn't just his past, it was his choices in whom to love. Each time he had fallen in love or thought he had, it had ended a disaster every time. He didn't know if it was his choices or if he was just destined to be alone. Whatever it was, if he started to have feelings for Orenwen, it would only end badly. All thoughts of wanting her, he pushed deep down inside of him. It wasn't something he wanted to do, but had grown to like the Altmer, used to having her around, and didn't want her to leave.

Orenwen was quiet as well. It wasn't just because Kaidan was so silent after what happened, but Rosalind's words about her. She wondered if Rosalind saw something in Kaidan that Orenwen did not. The blushes, the peeks at her. Maybe the vile woman was right. Orenwen didn't hate the idea in the least, but she didn't know what to do about it. She had grown to respect the big oaf. Should she push things? Would it affect their friendships or partnership? Perhaps it would. Maybe it was best that neither acted upon it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! <3
> 
> Next: Will the Daedri aftermath bring them together or pull them apart?


	15. Unobtainable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes Kaidan is just a dumbass :P. Kaidan is doing a lot of back and forth internally as to what to do about Orenwen. He's determined to pretend nothing is going on and shove aside any feelings at the expense of Orenwen's friendship.

The days were getting colder as Hearth Fire moved on towards its end, and Frost Fall would bring the snows once more. Orenwen wrapped her fur-lined cloak tightly about her, but she wasn’t nearly as cold as she would have been had Kaidan not been flushed up to her backside riding on Bella. It had been interesting, to say the least, being so close to him, arms wrapped about her as he steered the mare. 

The two had been traveling like this for days, on their way to Rorikstead. They hoped to reach the village by nightfall, so they could spend at least a day in warmth, and give Bella some rest and grooming.

The swaying back and forth on the mare lulled Orenwen to sleep as her head nodded forward, chin pressed to her chest. Kaidan knew that position would leave her with a stiff neck and eased her head back to lean on his arm. It probably wasn’t overly comfortable, but at least her hood would give her some cushioning. He had this strange urge to kiss the top of her head, an urge he had difficulty shaking. He probably could have pulled it off without her noticing, but he refrained, trying to control himself around her.

Kaidan looked at the sky and grumbled. It was becoming thick with dark clouds, and he hoped it wouldn’t rain before they reached Rorikstead. As luck would have it, it started to drizzle on them not soon after. His next wish was that it wouldn’t pour down on them. Kaidan really didn’t want to have to stop and set up a tent. He wanted to push forward into Rorikstead and have a nice, warm bed to sleep in.

As soon as the temperature dropped, Kaidan knew they were in for a storm. Stopping Bella, he woke up Orenwen so they could make camp. If it poured, they wouldn’t be able to make a fire, so they were in for a long and cold night. Hopefully, they could find a dry enough place to have one.

“Oren, wake up,” Kaidan said, shifting her off his arm.

“Oh, sorry. I must have drifted off. Are we there then?”

“No, rain is about to come down upon us. We need to set up camp,” he informed her.

“Of course, why would nature allow us to have a warm and dry bed for the night,” she complained, sharing Kaidan’s sentiments.

Once they found a place to make camp, Orenwen tied Bella up underneath a tree, hoping it would keep some of the rain off of her and gave her an apple for the mare’s potential suffering. “I am sorry, my dear, we do not have a warm stall with clean hay for you.”

The area was surrounded by several trees as Kaidan quickly gathered wood for fuel. The rock outcropping was large with an overhang, so they were fortunate they would be able to stay warm for the evening, hopefully. 

Their tent was set up near the fire just in time for the downpour, and they were mostly protected against the rocks from wetness. 

The temperature was dropping further as the two shivered in the tent, wishing they could get closer to the fire, but they didn’t want to inhale too much smoke. The two were trembling from the cold, but they knew it would have been worse without the fire. 

Orenwen dug in her pack and pulled out some rabbit pelt that had been properly cleaned, a thick needle and some heavy linen thread she picked up in the shop before they left Morthal. The winter months were going to be upon them before they knew it, and she wanted to make them some fur-lined gloves.

Once Orenwen had all her materials, she sat down next to Kaidan and cast a weak flame cloak about them for warmth while she worked. She smiled, hearing Kaidan’s sigh of relief, no longer shivering.

“Enjoy it while you can. Once we have to sleep, I will not be able to maintain it.”

“I will take what I can get.”

“Give me your hand,” she asked.

“Why?”

“Must you question everything? I am not going to bite your precious fingers off. I just want to size you for some gloves.”

“No, that’s OK. I will be fine. I can buy some later,” Kaidan said, pulling his hand away. It wasn’t about the gloves, but her touch.

“Nonsense. I know how to make some, and you will love them. These gloves will be nicer than anything you can buy. Normally they are made from cow or goat hide. Rabbit fur will be much more flexible and softer.”

Orenwen grabbed his hand despite his protests, measuring fingers and marking them down on the leather. 

Kaidan enjoyed her hand touching all too much, watching her inspect his fingers carefully, wishing his nails were cleaner. 

When she felt her measurements were correct, she started cutting into the leather and stitching it up. As it grew dark, she had to put everything away, unable to see as Kaidan applied more wood onto the fire. A mage light would have been handy, but she had used up too much Magicka to keep them warm.

The two had been strangely quiet since they left Morthal. Something happened between them that changed the dynamic of their friendship. The teases, jokes, and snarks were pushed aside. Any discussions started taking on a more serious undertone, and Orenwen wasn’t sure she liked it. She felt something happened between them that was causing some sort of divide, but she couldn’t figure out what it was. When they fought side by side to defeat Rosalind, she thought that would bring them even closer, but it strangely appeared to have the opposite effect.

“Kaidan, can I ask you a question? It is of a...personal nature,” she asked, wanting to get to the bottom of it before their gulf widened.

Kaidan found himself on guard for some reason but decided to hear her out. He could choose whether or not to answer her after she asked. “I supposed it depends on the question.”

He watched Orenwen suddenly fidget and look uncomfortable. She had that look as if she was debating whether she should ask her question after all, which, of course, made him nervous.

“Well, ever since Morthal...after Rosalind, hmmm, how do I put this? Ever since that day, you...we have been different. Why is that?”

Kaidan turned away, staring at the fire wishing he could sit next to it. He wasn’t quite how to explain it to her or if he even wanted to. “What do you mean, we have been different?” he answered with a question, not wanting to answer her.

“Surely, you have noticed that we are behaving differently around each other. I want to know why.”

“I haven’t noticed anything,” he shrugged— _lies._

Orenwen didn’t know why he was lying, but she decided not to push it, but that didn’t stop her from being passive-aggressive. “Fine, keep your secrets,” she said, curling her knees up to her chin.

_It’s because I like you and don’t want to ruin what we have by doing something about it. It is because all my choices around women have been terrible. It is because I don’t want you to leave._ Kaidan almost told her those things, sharing his thoughts and concerns. He wanted to, but he held back. He knew that staying silent was not going to help matters, especially since she noticed the difference, but he just couldn’t bring himself to explain.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It was late afternoon the next day, Mundus was out and the day was warmer after the storm passed through that night. Orenwen and Kaidan were hunkered down behind some boulders watching the activity before them. The area on their map indicated that was where they would find the briar heart. 

Orenwen was relieved that they were on their last leg of their mission before heading back to Windhelm. She decided that if the two were not going to talk, to continue as they were or worse, she was just going to move on after Windhelm. There was no point in traveling with someone who refused to talk to her or look at her. It saddened her because she enjoyed Kaidan’s company. It was a life that was much better than it had been with the Thalmor. Even if life was easy for her when she lived with her aunt, it was without love and nurturing. Elenwen was a cold and hard woman.

Orenwen thought that perhaps Kaidan had taken a liking to her in Morthal, but his behavior since they have been traveling afterward indicated otherwise. She found herself strangely hurt by it all.

Kaidan needed to focus on the Forsworn ahead, trying to count the sentries and see how many they had to deal with in order to find this briar heart. But all he could think about was Orenwen sitting too close to him, feeling her warmth, wanting to reach out to her, touch her, hold her...anything, anything other than ignore her as he had been doing lately. He found it impossible to pretend all was the same as it had been.

Her keen eyesight and hearing left her concerned about the mission before them. Shaking her head, she realized they couldn’t do it. “We can’t do this, Kaidan.”

For a moment, Kaidan thought she was talking about them personally, that she wanted to leave. “What do you mean?” he asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer, a lump forming in the pit of his stomach from dread.

“Getting that blasted briar heart. There are too many of Forsworn. I can hear them scampering about like rats. I don’t think we can take them all. Forsworn are formidable, dangerous. It is why they have been able to hold the Reach so well.”

Kaidan hoped Orenwen couldn’t hear his sigh of relief. “OK, so what do you suggest? We have to find a briar heart, and they are inside Forsworn Briarhearts.”

“I have been thinking about that. It will take possibly another three days to get there, but I think we may be able to find one in Markarth. Being in the Reach and so close to the Forsworn, I would point coin down in a bet that there is an alchemist there that would have one for sale.”

“Well, that would save us some skin and blood. What if they don’t have one in Markarth?”

“We could always try again, perhaps find a Forsworn settlement with fewer Forsworn. I would say we could forget the whole mission, but we have invested too much time in it.”

“Aye, a lot of time,” he agreed. “OK, let’s do it then.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orenwen and Kaidan both rode into Markarth in awe. Neither had been to the large city of stone gleaming against the light of Mundus.

“The Dwemer, I read, were a cruel race, but by Auri-El, they knew how to build and create. Look at this place, Kaidan! Is it not beautiful?”

“I am not sure I would call it beautiful, but it is certainly interesting...and massive.”

Orenwen was pleased that the Markarth stables were worthy of Bella. They promised to feed her, groom her, and treat her like royalty. Kissing the mare on the nose goodbye, the two headed in the city itself.

“It’s late, and I doubt shops are open, so we might as well find an inn and rent a couple of rooms.”

Through the gates, the city was something else entirely. The whole city was built into the mountain itself. Sections were wealthy and well-kept, but there were places of extreme poverty and ruin. There was a clear division of social class. The Silver Blood Inn was before them as soon as they entered, heading straight for it.

The Silver Blood Inn was about as uninviting as its name. The entire place was made of stone, and the two wondered if anything in the city was made of anything else. But the place was warm with a large fire in the hearth.

Kaidan and Orenwen were welcomed to the owners bickering at each other.

"Kleppr, you idiot! Can't you do anything right?" demanded the woman.

"What? What did I do this time? I was just standing here,” the man grumped at his wife.

"You were just standing there when you were supposed to be serving drinks to our customers!"

"Shouldn't you be helping me then, wife of mine? Sharing my problems? Being my better half?"

"I am your better half. And your better half is telling you to stop being an idiot and serve the customers their drinks!”

Kaidan coughed to get the man’s attention, who was sitting behind the stone bar, scowling thanks to his bitching wife.

“I’m Kleppr. Welcome to The Silver-Blood Inn. We have plenty of strong drinks and clean rooms."

“Aye, thank you. Two mead, whatever stew you have and two rooms,” Kaidan said, placing Semptim to cover their needs on the counter.

Orenwen already found them a quiet table by the fire as Kaidan brought them their drinks. She already had a book in her face, knowing Kaidan wasn’t going to talk to her anyway. Not moving her eyes off of what she was reading, she grabbed the bottle and took a long sip, ignoring him.

Kaidan sighed heavily and dug into his stew, not knowing what to say to her. The less they talked, the less he knew what to say. He knew this was causing a problem, making things worse. Kaidan wasn’t the best communicator, not being raised to express feelings or talk about issues. Brynjar never wanted to hear it, not knowing how to deal with it, but Kaidan was smart enough to know what he was doing was causing a rift between the two of them. He soon realized that if he didn’t talk to her, despite his fears of her leaving, if he did, she was going to leave anyway.

As the night wore on in silence, and possibly too many mead between the two, Orenwen abruptly slammed her book shut, startling Kaidan, and stood up. “Well, as exciting and enlightening as this evening has been, I am off to bed,” she announced, the sarcasm in her tone was apparent.

_Fuck! I have to say something, I don’t know what! Dammit, I’m making this worse_ , he berated himself. _I’ve been traveling with her for a while now, so why can’t I just tell her how I’m feeling? What is bothering me with how I’m feeling and why it will cause a problem for us_. If he could say these things in his head, why couldn’t he tell her the same?

Kleppr’s ‘better’ half, Frabbi, came to his table after Orenwen left to clear the dishes and bottles. “It’s none of my business, but I know women, and I can tell you right now your girl is not happy with you. I have experience in these things. You better go talk to her before she gets angry enough to leave you.”

“She’s not my girl,” Kaidan said miserably, hearing the truth of the woman’s words.

Frabbi shrugged, “You sure about that? Maybe you just aren’t seeing things clearly.”

“I would know if…”

“Whatever. I said my peace. Do with it as you may,” the woman said, walking off with her tray full of dirty dishes and bottles.

Rubbing his face with hands and growling in frustration, he decided to suck up his fears and just get it over with. Ignoring it wasn’t going to make things better between them. His stomach fluttered nervously as he headed towards Orenwen’s room. Head pressed to her door, trying to calm his heart rate, he finally knocked on the strange metal door.

Orenwen opened her door, already in her shift, hair down, surprised to see Kaidan standing there. His face clearly conflicted with something. She hoped he finally realized they needed to talk, but instead of talking, Kaidan grabbed her face with two hands and pressed his lips to hers right there in the doorway. 

Orenwen shoved him off of her and slapped his surprised face, hard enough to sting her hand. She realized how angry she really was with how he had been lately, the week of frustration that had been building between them. 

When he reached up to touch where she slapped him, she was the one who grabbed his face and kissed him in return, pulling him in her room and kicking the door shut with a foot, not once parting lips. She shoved him against the stone wall as their tongues reached each other, hands exploring.

Before their kiss could get any more heated, Orenwen pulled away, leaving Kaidan feeling empty and longing.

“Sit,” Orenwen ordered, panting, hand to her heart, feeling like it was about to explode out of her chest. 

Kaidan didn’t understand why they had to stop. He thought their kiss was enough, and they could move on. He didn’t want to talk, knowing what was about to come.

“Kaidan, now that we got that kiss out of the way, I think it is time to air some things. While it was nice, it does not fix things. It is clear you would rather not talk if that kiss was anything to judge by. But I have to admit between you barely acknowledging my presence anymore to now kissing me, I am sure you can imagine my confusion. Explain.”

He sat down on her bed, sighing in frustration. “I know...I’m terrible at this stuff. I wasn’t raised to talk about things like this. I just don’t know what to say,” he moaned miserably, wishing he could crawl under a rock.

Orenwen sat next to him on her bed, placing a gentle hand on his back. “How about you just say what has bothered you so much recently. Just be honest.”

“If I do, then you will probably just leave or, I don’t know, things won’t be the same between us.”

“I see. You do realize things are not the same between us right now anyway, right? You may as well get it all out. I will endeavor to do my best to listen and not flee in terror.”

Kaidan rested his arms on his thighs, leaning away so he would have to look at her while he dumped his soul to her. Maybe that was an exaggeration, but it was how he felt. 

“So, well...uhm, while in Morthal, see…so, when uhm, that night, uhm...”

“I am doing my best to be patient, Kaidan, but so far, all you are offering me is gibberish.”

“Urgh, right...I don’t know when it was. You came up from your bath the first day we were in Morthal. You were looking at me so strangely, blushing...so beautiful. I think I teased you, no, I wanted to. After that day, I started to see you differently, not as a friend or a partner, but maybe more? I don’t know. Then that night, was...ahem, well, I had this...you know…”

“Kaidan, you are doing it again. I am listening. Please finish, a bit more clearly, perhaps.”

“Right,” he said, clearing his throat more out of nerves than a real need to cough. “So, I had this dream of you that wasn’t so...appropriate. I am not going to get into detail if you don’t mind. After that night, I knew I wouldn’t see you the same, and I haven’t. Honestly, I really wanted to kiss you or something. Every time you’re near me or touch me, I… But then Rosalind reared her vile head. She reminded me of all the poor choices I made in life and in women. She was the worst of them. I even fucked up with the Dragonborn. I kissed her when I shouldn’t have, upsetting her, and she left without telling me. I blew it, and I didn’t want the same thing to happen to us. I have enjoyed your company, and I didn’t want you to leave like Minna did. I’m sorry, I’m rambling…”

“You are not rambling, you are getting it all out. I think I understand what’s going on. Let me see if I have this correct. You want to pursue something with me, but are afraid that I will resist you and leave, or change our friendship?”

“Yeah, that’s about right,” he replied, not looking at her.

“I see. Well, it may not have occurred to you, but I had the same thoughts if it makes you feel any better. I had a feeling there was some interest there and I too worried about similar problems, that things would be different between us. Of course, things would be different. That is the way of things, Kaidan, and it is not always a bad thing. I, too, enjoy your company and do not want that to end, but I do like you more than just a friend. 

What was more concerning was your behavior after Morthal. You were cold, closed off, could barely talk, or look at me. I even tried to speak to you about it, but you shut me down. Admittedly, that was starting to get to me, hence the reason I slapped you. I was getting quite frustrated.”

Kaidan nodded, “I guess I deserved that. I should have talked to you when you asked that day. I was a coward. It’s just...despite all that you and I have been through, I have grown to trust you more than anyone. Strange, isn’t it? The irony? Thalmor, the last person I would ever trust the least, ends up being the very person I trust the most. I am supposed to hate you, and I have grown to feel more for you. It has been wonderful to be alongside you in our travels. So what do you think or what are you thinking about...about all this?”

Kaidan finally got the nerve to look at Orenwen. Her chin resting on her hand, elbow on her leg. By the Gods, she was so beautiful. He wanted to stop talking and just kiss her again.

“Well, I can say things have already changed between us, no? I am going to be honest with you. I was going to part ways with you when we were done in Windhelm, thinking for some reason you were growing to hate me again. I was tired of it. Thank you for being honest, and I would like you to kiss me again.”

“Really, you...you want to risk that? To risk our friendship?”

“Oh, most definitely.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoy <3.


	16. In Plain Sight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Markarth is full of dangers, especially Head of the Justiciars, Ondolemar, and Orenwen's former instructor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3

Kaidan had a restless sleep. It should have been better with Orenwen sleeping next to him. He had his arm wrapped around her as her head rested on his chest. The damned strange humming of machinery of the Inn and throughout Markarth was getting on Kaidan’s nerves. He didn’t know how the locals could stand it. Perhaps they were just used to it, but he was grateful he didn’t have to live there.

Looking down at a sleeping Orenwen curled up into him, his arm around her, made up for the noise and lack of sleep. Her long fingers wrapped around the cloth of his tunic. She looked so peaceful and serene sleeping. Her head moving up and down on his chest to his breathing. Kaidan reached over and brushed some stray hairs out of her face. 

He and Orenwen were so different, opposites really. She was clearly higher class, more educated, she loved to be prim and proper, wear nice things. Kaidan was the opposite of all that. Once his enemy and hopefully soon to be his lover. So strange, the realization was. Then that other nagging sensation at the back of his mind hit, that reminder of who she was, who her aunt was. It was something neither could ignore forever. They would have to figure out what to do if they stumbled into the Thalmor. 

Last night was sweet and tender despite the nearly aggressive kissing that started it all. Kaidan and Orenwen held each other, kissed, talked, and laughed for a couple of hours before finally falling asleep in each other’s arms.

Today, they would hopefully buy a briar heart, head back to Windhelm, and the rest would be entirely up to them. Perhaps they could find someplace free of the Thalmor or at least less of them. Maybe that was just wishful thinking.

Orenwen’s eyes fluttered open as she stretched and yawned, her hand sliding up to Kaidan’s neck, running her fingers through his thick dark hair. Looking up, she gave Kaidan a sleepy smile as he pulled her in tight, kissing the top of her head.

“Mmm, I assure you, no one saw this coming,” she said sleepily.

“Us, you mean?”

“Yes, us,” she said, rolling over on her stomach, chin resting on folded arms on his chest. “So what is the plan after Windhelm, Kai? I know it is across the entire country, but where do we go from there? We have spent almost as long as I have known you tracking these Phial items.”

“Dunno, honestly. Usually, I just take jobs and search for answers about my past. My past has been answered, and now I have to find a future, I guess. How about you? Did you have something in mind?”

Orenwen rested her head on his warm and firm chest, listening to his heartbeat. “I strangely have enjoyed the adventuring. I used to hate traveling through the muck, but it turns out I just hated traveling with my fellow Thalmor. As long as I can have a periodic bath, I am quite content. So, no, to answer your question. Honestly, it is a strange feeling not having plans, not knowing what is going to happen. My life since I was a child was directed and planned out by my aunt, rarely having a say in the matter. I think, like you, I have to find my future as well.”

“So, no plans to invite me to dinner, meet your aunt, then?”

Orenwen snorted a laugh. “Oh, dear, no. My aunt would put a knife through your heart, any man’s heart that is not an Altmer courting her niece. Marriages are generally arranged where I come from. We have to create that perfect and pure breed, you know.”

Kaidan mock shivered. “Remind me not to meet her. Come here,” he said. 

Orenwen looked up, smiling, reaching for his lips. “I suppose we should get up and get that briar heart and move on. I must say it will be a relief to be done with this mission. Something new and refreshing would be nice.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“The Hag’s Cure. What a delightful little name for an alchemist shop. I do hope the shop owner looks like a hunched over little witch to match my visions of her,” Orenwen said as they walked into the store.

Orenwen and Kaidan were greeted by an old woman who looked every bit like a hag, though lacking in the hunched back. Her weathered skin was covered in a dark tattoo on her face that resembled those of the Forsworn. 

“Greetings,” Orenwen said when she walked in.

"I have potions for disease, love, sickness, irritating children…” the hag said.

“I do love the name of your shop!”

“Thank you. I am Bothela. It comes with living to a ripe old age, people start thinking there's something magical about you. Then, the insults. Still, a little knowledge of plants and potions can get you by. Not that anyone likes to admit buying things from you. See? I even have a little potion for the Steward. Mind handing it over to him? Just say it should solve that problem he has,” the old woman rambled, shoving a potion into Orenwen’s hands.

“Wait, what?” Orenwen said in surprise.

Bothela sighed with impatience, “I will pay you, of course. It’s just my assistant, Muri, is mucking about and I need to get this potion over there right away.”

“Fine, but I need something first. Do you, perchance, have any briar hearts for sale?”

“Briar hearts, eh? What would you need one of those for? Planning on making your own pet, Forsworn?”

Orenwen stifled a laugh at the image. “Certainly not. It is an ingredient necessary to repair a magical item. It is dangerous out there to directly kill a Forsworn Briarheart, so my partner here and I thought perhaps an alchemist would sell one.”

“You have come to the right place. Wise of you not to attack those Forsworn directly...idiots, the lot of them,” Bothela complained. Placing the briar heart in a small sack, she handed it to Orenwen. “That’ll be 175 Septim.”

“So much?”

“You do realize how hard they are to come by, yes? Tell you what you deliver that there potion, and I will sell it to you for 100 Septim.”

“Deal!” Orenwen agreed. She gave the old woman the coins, placed the heart in her pack, then she and Kaidan headed off to Understone Keep.

Outside of the little shop, Kaidan grabbed Orenwen from behind and shoved her in a corner to her surprise.

“What…” she managed to squeak out before Kaidan pressed his lips to hers. Orenwen wrapped her arms about his neck and melted into him, then gently pushed him away. 

“Come on, you hairless troll...we have work to do,” she teased.

The two instantly knew why Understone Keep was called such. It was like walking into a large cave with crumbling stone, but it was surrounded by Dwemer ruins. 

Approaching a guard, Orenwen asked where to find the Steward and headed in that direction. The old man was sitting next to the Jarl when Orenwen just handed the man his potion. “I have a delivery from Bothela,” she informed him.

"Oh... yes... um... thank you. Here you go. Some gold for your assistance and your discretion."

Orenwen bowed, and she and Kaidan headed out to leave Markarth, finally on their way to Windhelm.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ondolemar was on his way to see Jarl Igmund, his usual entourage following close behind, to assist in making him look important before he stopped dead in his tracks. He couldn’t believe his eyes. Of all the places to see Orenwen, Markarth was the last place he would have thought. Elenwen had been beside herself, looking for the girl, and there she was right in front of him.

Ondolemar would know his former pupil anywhere, even if she wasn’t wearing her Thalmor robes, for he trained her in the ways of Thalmor interrogation for nearly a year. It was something he specialized in. He remembered Elenwen instructing him to go easy on the girl after complaining she was not Thalmor material. The Ambassador insisted she be trained to become a Thalmor, and never understood why. The girl was soft but easy he went on her, as ordered, though he resented the fact. 

There she was with some strange man resembling reports of a man who was Akaviri, captured, tortured, and escaped, killing several Thalmor in his wake. A couple of months ago, he received another report that the prison was attacked by a dragon and that the Akaviri escaped once more, but had taken Orenwen as a prisoner. But looking at the woman now, she did not look like his prisoner in the slightest. She looked happy, all smiles as the two laughed.

Narrowing his eyes, feeling the anger from betrayal stir in his blood, he did not call out to her. Instead, he told two of his guards to get a team together and follow her.

“When she and the Akaviri are alone, bring him to me and take her to the Ambassador. Now!”

Ondolemar watched her until she left the keep. He knew it was a mistake to treat her so delicately. He didn’t understand why Elenwen insisted on it, but the error was on her. When Orenwen was out of sight, he marched back to his private quarters and wrote a letter to Elenwen to let her know her niece had been found.

He handed the letter over to an assistant. “Take this letter, grab a horse and ride as quickly as possible to Ambassador Elenwen. You will personally hand this to her.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orenwen and Kaidan rode out of Markarth on Bella, enjoying the strangely warm day. They could see the Reach for miles out, though the area was filled with so many valleys, that it could be consumed by fog in a moment’s notice. 

Kaidan snuffled her neck, making Orenwen giggle, tickling her. “Maybe we should have spent another day alone in your room. I could think of ways to get warm besides sitting by a fire.”

She snorted and shoved his face off of her. “Of that, I have no doubt. You will just have to wait until I can bathe. I can barely stand the stench of myself.”

He snuffled her once more, “I don’t know, you smell fine to me.”

“That is only because if men had to choose between sex and a bath, they would go for sex first every time,” she informed him, shoving him off of her once more, laughing.

“True, you got me there.”

Orenwen turned her head to look at him as he leaned in to kiss her. “I never thought talking would do me so good.”

“Well, I am sure your Brynjar did the best he could. Men are more stoic, being taught that having feelings is bad. I am sure things would have been different had your mother lived. I know if mine had lived, I would never have been forced into being a Thalmor.”

“Aye, but neither of our mothers did.”

“Yes…”

Not surprisingly, the day soon turned foggy, and the terrain was becoming increasingly dangerous and rocky. They jumped off Bella and walked, pulling her behind, not wanting to break one of her legs. The two were quiet since they couldn’t see very far, wary of the Forsworn. They wanted to hear any dangers headed their way.

Hand in hand, pulling Bella, their walk was slow and treacherous. Next to them was a crumbling cliff that led down to a rushing river, careful not to tumble over the edge. It probably wouldn’t kill them, but it could possibly break some bones.

_“Where is her niece? It’s hard to see through this damned fog.”_

_“How should I know? Where else are they going to go but straight on the rocky road? Let’s just stick with it, and hopefully, we will hear them if they talk.”_

_“This is a waste of time. Why does it matter what she does? She’s not a child.”_

_“You’re an idiot. The Ambassador wants her niece back, and the woman is a Thalmor for Auri-El’s sake! Apparently, she was taken prisoner by that Akaviri.”_

_“Taken? She didn’t look taken to me.”_

_“It doesn’t matter. We have a job to do, and we will do it.”_

_“Wait, did you hear that?”_

_“What…”_

_“A horse walking. They had a horse, right?”_

_“Right, let’s go.”_

Orenwen’s stomach tightened in knots, hearing people speaking, knowing the Aldmeris accent anywhere. Her keen hearing told her they were looking for her. She had no idea how they found her out there in the middle of the fog, realizing that they perhaps had been following her since Markarth. _Dammit, I should have been warier. I have become too comfortable around Kaidan that I have not been looking out for dangers!_

Judging by the conversation, there were at least five of them, and they were close, too close, but not close enough for Kaidan to hear. Orenwen didn’t know what to do. Fear coursed through her, afraid to tell Kaidan. They could hear Bella, and Orenwen was panicking, feeling trickling sweat down her back though the day wasn’t hot. The Thalmor were going to catch up to them at any moment. They were too powerful for just her and Kaidan to fight off. She had no choice as she looked down at the rocky cliff. 

Kaidan was closest to the cliff. He looked at her strangely, wondering why she just stopped. He didn’t understand why her eyes were full of fear and guilt. Strange words came out of her mouth as she yelled at him.

“Get away from me, you asshole! Finally, to get rid of you!” Orenwen yelled out.

It took a moment for his brain to register the fact that he was tumbling down the rocky cliff, sliding down, scratching up his armor. Kaidan was moving too fast to stop, and all he could do was go with it. His ankle twisted when he landed below, screaming out in pain. As he laid there, he could hear something falling down the cliff wondering if Orenwen had fallen too, but what landed next to him was his pack.

Orenwen pulled out her Thalmor robes from her pack, getting them ready to pull on, praying to all the Gods that Kaidan was OK and they wouldn’t hurt Bella. She knew they would be there at any moment hearing the commotion.

Taking a deep breath, she turned around in her shift, hoping to shock them long enough, exposing herself. The Thalmor before her had spells ready, aimed at her while looking around for the Akaviri. Some watched her put on her Thalmor robes warily.

Orenwen felt disgusted being back in her robes, but she sucked it up. All that mattered was that Kaidan lived. “It is about time!” she spat, chin up, proper arrogance restored. “I heard you all chittering in the distance, ready to draw in damned Forsworn in the area. Amateurs!”

“Where’s the Akaviri,” one of the men asked, still wary, though others were less guarded. 

“I shoved him off the damned cliff is where he is. Your arrival finally gave me the perfect opportunity to rid myself of the outsider. There is no way he could live through that.”

“We were told to bring him in alive, along with you,” another said, female.

“Well, clearly, I never received such orders. All I could think about was to get away from the beast. Do you have any idea how long it took to gain his trust finally? It was only yesterday he released my hands from their bindings. I could not very well kill him in public, now could I?”

“You could have done so earlier,” said the suspicious male.

“Yes, I could have, but that would have left me alone in Forsworn territory. You know very well one does not travel alone in enemy territory. I only had the chance when I heard your bumbling behind us. Now, if you do not mind, please take me to see my aunt. I need to speak to her immediately. You _do_ know who my aunt is, yes? Ambassador Elenwen?”

When they didn’t move, Orenwen acted as if her patience was at an end. “You will take me out of this Gods forsaken land...NOW!”

“What about the horse?” one of them asked.

“What about her? She is mine now and comes with me.”

The other Thalmor shrugged and led her out of the fog and the Reach, on their way to Haafingar Hold, near Solitude. But one of them took the opportunity to look over the edge of the cliff. He couldn’t see anything below due to the fog, but he wasn’t about to walk down there, risking his neck.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaidan dug in his bag for a healing potion, beyond pissed off. His ankle was killing him, but at least he had his pack. The tonic wasn’t perfect, but it helped enough that he could walk out of there. Not knowing what else to do, he continued in their original direction until he could find a decent place to camp.

He limped for a good two hours, and fortunately, the fog lifted and could see where he was going once more. Stopping at a clearing, he set up camp and made a fire, trying not to think about Orenwen. He certainly wasn’t worried about her.

Munching on some dried meat, not feeling up to hunting, he reflected back to Orenwen when she shoved him off the cliff. He wasn’t sure which betrayal was worse, Rosalind or Orenwen. He thought at first it was a mistake or a reason behind her pushing him, seeing her eyes of fear and guilt. Maybe she did feel that way, but it wasn’t because she felt something for him. 

He knew there were other people up top, voices easily carrying through the fog. Kaidan soon realized they were Thalmor that had been following them. Relief washed over him, thinking Orenwen was trying to protect him, but her words kept ringing in his ears, “Get away from me, you asshole! Finally, to get rid of you!”

Kaidan could hear her conversation explaining how she was trying to build his trust to finally escape. Bitterness filled his heart. Kaidan wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt, but it all came back to her, shoving him off the cliff, screaming at him. They could have fought the Thalmor together, but instead, she chose to go willingly. He decided he was done trying to find a woman. He continuously made terrible choices when it came to the opposite sex. Not just bad decisions—it went way beyond that. 

“Fuck!” he yelled out into the empty land, his voice echoing off the cliffs scarring some nearby birds.

The fury just kept building up in him the more he thought about it. He trusted her. Kaidan didn’t lie when he told her that he had never trusted anyone as much as her. He truly believed she was done being a Thalmor, disgusted by it. How could he have been so stupid? When will he ever learn?

To make matters worse, the Thalmor will be after him again for taking her. He decided to go to Windhelm and return the ingredients, confident they couldn’t reach him before, then take a ship to Solstheim. Perhaps there would be work for him there. He had to permanently leave Skyrim. He was done with the forsaken country that continuously brought him nothing but misery.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elenwen calmly walked to the Solar and sat at her desk, slowly unraveling the parchment in her hands. The letter arrived moments ago by a Thalmor guard from Markarth. He informed her it was from Ondolemar, her most trusted Justiciar. 

_Ambassador Elenwen,_

_I am pleased to inform you that your niece, Orenwen, has been located in Markarth. She was seen, by me, in the company of a known prisoner and wanted criminal, an Akaviri. It looked as if they were allies, but I cannot be certain._

_I have sent a team to retrieve them both and to bring Orenwen back to you. I am sure she will explain everything to you when you see her._

_Ondolemar_

Elenwen reread the letter and put it in a drawer. She had a report when the prison was attacked by the dragon that she saved the Akaviri. _Orenwen will have some explaining to do, indeed._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Aunts know more than they let on.
> 
> I hope you check out my story that I co-wrote with Vokukendov about Gallus, Karliah, a Demiprince of Nocturnal, and Brynjolf.
> 
> [Daughter of Twilight](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24583165)


	17. Water Thicker Than Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Elenwen. Need I say more?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments welcome. <3

Orenwen stormed into the Embassy as if she owned the place, and headed straight to the Solar to find her aunt. There was no point in wasting any time. Knots had been tightening in her stomach since the Thalmor found her and Kaidan, and they haven’t lessened. She was worried less about herself than she was about him, hoping she didn’t injure him too much, but she also wondered if he felt betrayed, knowing his issues with trust. Orenwen was confident she could convince her aunt that she was still a dedicated little Thalmor.

Elenwen sat behind her desk, her face a blank mask, giving nothing away to her niece. Her hair in all its proper place, every item on her desk laid out in such a way that conveyed Elenwen’s control over all things. Orenwen did her best to convey nothing in her face in return. 

“My dear Aunt Elenwen. It is a pleasure to see you and return home finally. My journey has been long and arduous, as I am sure you have heard,” Orenwen said, giving her aunt a slight bow in deference.

“Indeed, I have heard of your...harrowing journey. Sit,” Elenwen demanded.

Orenwen sat down on the other side of the desk, back straight, head held high, hands folded in her lap. Any slouching would result in reprimands. “I am grateful our people were out there in search of me.”

Elenwen stared at her niece, her eyes never wavering, looking for any tell-tale tell signs of a lie. “Of course, I love you.”

Orenwen knew that was a lie, for her aunt loved no one. “The timeliness of our people in the Reach finally allowed me to do away with my captor.”

“Indeed.” Elenwen stood and sauntered over to a guard to give him orders. “Send him in.”

Orenwen’s stomach clenched so much, she was starting to feel nauseous, her heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest. She had no idea who was being called in, but she knew it couldn’t be anyone good. Turning her head, she watched to see who would walk through the door, not wanting to know, but unable to look away. 

She couldn’t hide her shock at seeing him alive. Orewen was sure he was crushed under a pile of rubble in the abandoned prison, along with the rest, killing him. The ground felt like it fell out from under her. Breathing, she struggled to suck in the precious oxygen. She had to get herself back under control, use her training to push away the fears and emotions. It would be the only way to survive through this.

The man sat down next to Orenwen, a smug look on his face as he pulled back his hood. His golden eyes twinkled, looking in her direction, his long blond hair pulled neatly back in a bun.

“Orenwen, it is good to...see you are well,” Mithlas lied, not caring if she were alive or not.

“Mithlas, I have to admit, I am surprised to see you alive and well. I thought you were one of the unfortunate ones. I am pleased to see you are uninjured,” she effortlessly lied.

Elenwen sat back behind her desk, observing Orenwen’s reaction, fingers steepled under her chin. If there was fear there, she couldn’t detect it. She knew, though, that once Mithlas told his version of events, the truth would come out on Orenwen’s face. 

“Mithlas, tell Orenwen your version of events that unfolded at the abandoned prison,” Elenwen ordered.

Mithlas cleared his throat, paused for a dramatic delay, a smug look upon his face. He never liked Orenwen. She should never have become a Thalmor. She was weak and soft, and he resented that he had been forced to work with her. He couldn’t understand how a niece of Elenwen’s could be such a disappointment. “Yes, well, as you are aware, the dragon attacked the prison due to the idiocy of our guards. The dragon did not ease up on its barrage of attacks until it was satisfied the building was turned to dust. 

The Akaviri was in our custody finally after tracking him for several days, and we were taking him to the torture room to get some answers and make him pay for the death of our brothers and sisters.” Mithlas paused for dramatic effect once more, fingers steepled under his chin, as Elenwen’s was.

“Before I had the misfortune of being crushed by a large stone, which nearly killed me, I saw our lovely Orenwen here shove the Akaviri away to safety,” he continued, picking an imaginary speck of dust off of his robes.

“Lies,” Orenwen ordered, waving a hand of dismissal in his direction, lying easily. “It was clear from the start you never liked me, jealous of my position with my aunt. You resented the fact that I rebuked all your efforts to bed me. You would starve me, not let me get clean intentionally as some form of retaliation as if my birth was the cause of your woes. You are a pathetic child.”

Orenwen then looked at her aunt dead in the eyes, not once giving in to her fears. “I did not shove the human troll to safety. What a ridiculous notion. He was too close to safety. I intended to kill the man along with the other crushed prisoners. I clearly miscalculated as I was crushed myself. My legs were smashed.”

Mithlas scoffed, “Really, then how did you escape the prison if you had no legs to move?”

Orenwen shrugged, “To that, I have no answer. I passed out shortly after being crushed. When I came to, I was tied up by the Akaviri, my legs shattered. I have never had to deal with so much pain in my life.”

“I see you are walking as if nothing ever happened. I call lies,” Mithlas spat, worried that Elenwen was going to start believing her niece after all this, especially after she lied about his attempt to bed her.

“I thought it was obvious. The Akaviri wanted me as a prisoner, but he could not carry me everywhere, now could he? He needed me to be able to walk. He freed one hand only, holding tightly, I might add, and forced me to heal myself,” Orenwen explained, and because it was the truth, it was easy to put doubts in their minds.

The back and forth continued for a long hour before Mithlas was dismissed, seething in anger that his story was rebuked at every turn. Orenwen had all the answers, but he knew the truth. She was going to pay for her lies.

Orenwen was feeling drained from her interrogation. If they kept it up, she was going to falter at some point, most likely Elenwen’s intention. “Are we done here, aunt? It has been a long day. No, it has been a long couple of months. I am ready to move on with my life.”

“Yes, in a moment, but there is one more thing,” Elenwen informed her niece. Elenwen wasn’t a Thalmor Ambassador for nothing. Her skill at obtaining information without pain was a skill long practiced. Her niece was as weak as her parents. She knew the girl was lying, though she hid it well. It wasn’t how she told her story, but the information already in Elenwen’s hands that conveyed the truth. She slid the document slowly across her desk and watched Orenwen reach for it, a flicker of fear flashed across her eyes, but only an expert would have noticed.

Orenwen unrolled the missive before her; her skin blanched as she read it, though she struggled to hide it.

_Ambassador Elenwen,_

_Ondolemar has instructed me to follow Orenwen as they gather a team to bring her back. I was only to observe and report back. Below are my findings._

_Thalmor Justiciar Orenwen was in the company of an Akaviri wanted prisoner and criminal. By all appearances, your niece did not appear to be his prisoner. In fact, I observed the two to be intimate three times before leaving Markarth._

_She appeared to be content in her situation by my observations. When they departed Markarth, they were holding hands._

_Thalmor Justiciar Eamil_

Orenwen handed the scroll back to Elenwen, trying to keep her hand from shaking. 

“Explain yourself, my dear.”

“What is there to explain? I was stuck with the big oaf for two months. I did whatever I could to get the man to trust me and unbind my hands. If that meant I had to debase myself, then so be it. It worked, for he just released my hands. As soon as I was able, I killed him.”

Elenwen started, eyes narrowed at her niece. “Killed him, did you? I sent a team to search for his body at the bottom of the ravine to find nothing. He lives.”

“How is that possible? That would have killed anyone,” Orenwen used her genuine surprise as shock, hiding her relief.

“Obviously, it would not have killed anyone.”

Orenwen shrugged at her aunt indifferently. “The man is like a cat with nine lives. What can I say?”

“Indeed.”

“Is that all, or can I go now?” Orenwen asked, praying to finally be done then find her way back to Kaidan to beg his forgiveness.

Elenwen stood up from behind her desk. Her face revealed nothing as she walked around her desk and stood behind Orenwen. Placing her hands upon her nieces, shoulders, long, boney fingers dug into her. Elenwen felt the girl shudder for a moment, feeling her fear.

“You, my dear, are so much like your mother. So full of...compassion. So soft...weak. Pathetic.”

Orenwen felt the tears slip out of her eyes, hearing her aunt’s hateful words about her mother, grateful Elenwen could not see them. She knew right then that her lies were not believed. Her aunt was going to make her pay. While she knew what was to come, a lot of pain and perhaps her death, the only consolation was that Kaidan was alive and uninjured, for he wouldn’t have been able to walk away.

“The reason you and your parents traveled to see me in Alinor was that my dear sister was most displeased that I was quickly rising in the ranks with the Thalmor. Milaren was planning to move her family to the capital to be close to try and convince me what a bad idea it was. The nerve of her ignorance, my sister.

Life was perfect for me until Milaren was born. I was already well into adulthood, receiving my education while she was coddled. It made her soft. ‘We have to share this world, Elenwen! Why can you not accept that? Why does the Thalmor have to purify Nirn?’ she would ask.”

Elenwen moved to sit next to Orenwen and grabbed her hands, squeezing them in anger as Orenwen tried to pull away. Her aunt scoffed at her tears. “See, as weak as your mother.”

“I do not understand,” Orenwen managed to get out, still trying to pull away, but her aunt held tight.

“Because I refused to do her bidding, or give in to her demands, your mother had the nerve to start an uprising against me! The nerve! Yes, many of what the Thalmor are today is because of me. We are successful and powerful because of me. Your mother sought to stop that. I got wind of her little scheme, along with Talmo, your father. They planned to overthrow me. I had to admit, I did not think she had it in her, but in the end, it was her naivety and kindness that killed her…”

“It was you...you killed my parents,” Orenwen whispered, things starting to make more sense, her tears spilling down her face.

“It was nothing to set up a little bandit raid and kill them. They were supposed to bring you to me, but you escaped. Imagine my surprise when you showed up on my doorstep with your parent’s guard, who I had killed later. My goal was to reshape you, mold you into a perfect Thalmor, but you are weak like your mother. I had to force your educators to go easy on you, afraid you would die. So pathetic. In retrospect, I probably should have just let you die, place a pillow over that small head of yours. It would have been nothing to snuff out your life when you were a child.

I thought to send you off to that prison, force you to torture for real, that it would somehow harden you...toughen you up. I knew eventually you would come to feel the power in your hands and grow to love what you do as the rest of them. But no, you have a...heart. You saved that prisoner. That is why he saved you. If you had not, he would have left you behind to rot. There would be no other reason for him to pull you out of there. Your lies end now.”

“No, that is not…,” Orenwen wept, looking around nervously, expecting someone to stab her in the back or something. 

“You will be brought to the basement, and you will provide the interrogator every piece of information you have on the Akaviri. You will spill only the truth. After which, I will then decide what to do with you. One thing I can promise is you are no niece of mine. You disgust me.”

“No…”

“Guards!” yelled Elenwen. Two elves came in gilded in golden armor and bowed to the Ambassador. “Take my niece to the basements and throw her in a cell. You will not provide her any sustenance until the interrogator can do his job.”

“No, please, Aunt Elenwen...I do not understand. We are family!”

“No, we are not family,” Elenwen said in finality.

Orenwen struggled as she was dragged down the flight of stairs screaming. “Please! Aunt Elenwen...please!”

Orenwen was stripped of her Thalmor robes, leaving her in only her shift, and roughly thrown in her cell, landing hard on her knees. Standing, brushing off her knees, she wiped away her tears. She needed to stop the crying and focus on a way out of her prison before she was tortured for information. But all she wanted to do was curl up in a ball and weep for her parents. She knew her aunt was a cold Mer, but the knowledge that she killed her own sister, Orenwen’s parents, was hard for her to grasp.

One guard left, and the other paced throughout the whole prison below the Solar. Orenwen had been practicing her alteration spell for opening locks while she was with Kaidan. She was going to use it to increase their wealth whenever they were in ruins as some gems and baubles were locked away. The dead wouldn’t miss a few gems. But she couldn’t work on her own lock with a guard keeping watch. 

Her other problem would be to find some clothes for her escape. If she could manage all that, she had to risk getting caught to find Bella. She was not about to let her beautiful mare stay behind. Orenwen just prayed that the Thalmor didn’t hurt the horse.

It was evening, and Orenwen was quickly getting thirsty and hungry, not having eaten since the night before. She had to block it out and start getting serious with plans of escape before she could no longer think clearly. She was running out of time.

First, she was going to time the guard when they passed by her cell. If the timing was consistent, then she could work on unlocking her cell door. Once she did, she would have only moments before the guard passed by. The plan was to have the cell door unlocked but partially closed. When the guard walked by, she would sneak behind and take him by surprise. The other dilemma was finding a way out of there unnoticed. She had a repertoire of spells, but she was weakening already. The stronger the spell, the more energy it would take. She needed to find a way out where she wouldn’t be seen; if that were possible, if not, she had to be ready to defend herself.

The next task was to find Bella. Once she and her mare were far enough away, Orenwen would then ride straight to Windhelm, knowing that would be where Kaidan would go, not wanting to waste good coin. She had to reach him. Orenwen knew the probability was high that he hated her, and she wouldn’t blame him. She just hoped he would take the time to listen, to understand why she did what she did. It was to save him.

As soon as the guard passed her cell door, she counted five minutes. She would have around five minutes to get her door unlocked. She prayed to Auri-El that it would be enough. She had been practicing unnoticed on the shackles lock chained to the wall, grateful for small favors she wasn’t hanging from them. 

As soon as the guard was out of sight, she cast her Alteration spell, focusing on the lock before her, trying not to count in her head, distracting her. She could feel the internal mechanism turning and whirling its levers and tumblers. _Come on, come on, come on_ , she chanted in her head.

The clicking sound was the most gratifying thing Orenwen had ever heard as she breathed a sigh of relief. She clicked the door slightly ajar, but not noticeable by the guard who never once looked at her when he passed. As soon as he walked by, Orenwen quietly snuck behind him, thanking the gods that her door didn’t squeak. One thing the Thalmor were good at was keeping everything in proper working order. Her sound was silent since they took her boots, and she was barefoot.

The Thalmor must have sensed something was amiss as he quickly turned around to find himself face to face with Orenwen. The shock was evident in his eyes, even more so when her hand pressed to his chest, and conjured a sword straight into his heart. She watched him crumple to the ground and search for keys, pulling out a key ring. 

Dragging his body to a dark corner, she scrambled in search of her gear or some warm clothes to wear. She had to be quick, not knowing when the changing of the guards was due to occur. She found a chest, opening it, she discovered an old worn cloak, some boots too large for her, but it would be enough—it would have to be. 

Orenwen cursed when she found only one door out, and it led straight up to the Solar. Her reluctance for not wanting to go upstairs was understandable as she scoped out the jail one more time, searching for anything. Then she found it under a pile of crates. If she had not been looking closely, she would never have seen it. The containers were heavy, and she had to waste energy, casting a telekinesis spell on them to get them to budge. 

Opening the hatch, she dropped down into darkness, pushing the fear away, not sure what she would stumble into in the dark. She landed hard on rock and cast her mage light spell to see. Before her was a cave and all caves have an entrance, she hoped. She wrapped the old cloak around her shift, the large boots already hurting her feet, she moved deeper into the cave.

It only took a few minutes of walking to come to a ledge she would have to drop down from, but there was something else with her. Below she could hear the familiar sounds of a troll, the smell unmistakable. A troll was still better than the Thalmor. She quickly dropped down and conjured a sword in one hand and cast a fireball spell in the other. The creature was fast as it clawed at her, slicing through her shift. The white cloth soon turned red as she bled out. Her adrenaline was too high to feel anything yet, but she knew it would only be a matter of time.

Blasting the creature with her spell, she shifted her weapon to a bow and fired as many ethereal arrows as the spell would allow. Once it was finally dead, Orenwen dropped down to her knees and cast a weak healing spell, hoping it would be enough. She was quickly running out of energy, and Magicka, the more complicated spells she used. She was going to have to have some rest and food soon, but first, Bella.

Orenwen’s luck was holding out if one could call it that, as she stumbled out of the cave. The Embassy didn’t have stables, knowing any horses they did keep were sent to the Solitude stables, which wasn’t far. 

She stuck to the dense trees, staying away from the main road until she reached the stables. Ducking behind a large boulder, she surveyed the area to make sure there were no Thalmor around. Orenwen was confident Thalmor couldn’t be bothered guarding horses, even hers, especially knowing she was locked up with no way to get her horse.

It was dark, and everyone was asleep as she quietly snuck into the stable. There she was, her sweet Bella. Orenwen dug around, finding her blanket and saddle, pleased they still had it. Quickly, she put the reins on and searched for anything she could use personally. There was a bushel of apples, and Orenwen grabbed a few, putting them in the pockets of the cloak. 

Orenwen, riding on Bella, burst through the stables and ran her mare as fast as she would go. After a few miles, she slowed Bella down so she wouldn’t tire too quickly.

By morning, she made her way through a thick forest and stumbled upon an abandoned shack. Orenwen was exhausted when she jumped down from Bella. Her chest ached, and her stomach growled. She dragged her horse to the clean stream as they both gulped refreshing water. One apple went to Bella, the other she ate.

Now for some rest to regain her strength enough to hunt and then she would make the push to Windhelm, hoping to reach there before Kaidan did since she had a horse and he was on foot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Forgive or not to forgive?


	18. Finding Forgiveness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Orenwen searches for Kaidan, hoping he will listen to her side of the story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3 Leave a comment and let me know what you thought.

Orenwen woke in the afternoon, not quite well-rested, but enough for her to continue on again in her endeavor to catch up to Kaidan. She didn’t want to linger too long in case she missed him and not get caught once more by the Thalmor, who were probably out looking for her. She had to stay on the move, pushing thoughts of recapture out of her mind to focus on the positive that she would see Kaidan again.

Having had some sleep, stretching, Orenwen examined the abandoned home for any supplies left behind. Her gasp of excitement was audible in the quiet forest when she saw the old weathered trunk, praying there would be something useful inside. Orenwen had missed it in her exhaustion earlier. Opening it, she found worn breeches a bit too large for her, but she tore the hem of her shift, using it as a belt to keep them up. There was a dagger laid on top as if eager to have a purpose once more and slipped it through her belt. At the bottom, she found a musty old blanket she could use for additional warmth. Her items were meager, but it was more than she had before.

Before she left, she needed to eat something. The last thing she needed was to pass out from starvation. Giving the last apple to Bella, Orenwen headed out to hunt, feeling rested enough to cast some conjuration spells. When she returned with a rabbit and a couple of pine thrush eggs she discovered tucked away in a nest in a rotted tree, she started a fire to make her breakfast.

Feeling satiated enough, she and Bella drank some freshwater once more and headed out into the night. It was preferable to ride in darkness, the less chance of being found by the Thalmor, once her family, now her enemy. Orenwen pushed Bella as far and fast as she could without injuring the mare. Surely, she had passed Kaidan by now, who was on foot, she hoped. If she could get to Windhelm before him, she could wait for his arrival. There was a possibility he wouldn’t listen to her, angry she pushed him over the cliff. She would hardly blame him but would try to prove to him that she was only trying to save his life. Orenwen understood it most likely won’t be an easy task as he had been betrayed terribly already, once by her. Trust doesn’t come easy after one has been repeatedly betrayed.

Three days later, Orenwen made it close to the city of Whiterun. She could see the tall Dragonsreach grasping towards the sky in the distance. There would be plenty of grass for Bella to eat on the moors, and she could hunt for her dinner; maybe she could steal some vegetables from the farms that dotted the land across the hold. Orenwen couldn’t afford to stay at an inn, all her possessions, and coin taken from her at the Embassy. Though it was cold as the season got late, the skies were still clear, and she could just camp outside.

It was late morning as Orenwen passed the City of Whiterun and set up camp on the outskirts on the bank of White River. After watering her, she tied up Bella to a small tree as she bent down, chomping on the grass beneath her hooves. The moors were teeming with game, so Orenwen didn’t have to travel far to find food. 

Pulling out the dagger she found, she started to skin the rabbit. She was tired of eating rabbit but grateful she could eat at all, that she could conjure weapons to feed herself. It helped that she stole several carrots and a couple of potatoes to eat with her meat. After her meal, she gave a fresh carrot to Bella, who ate it contentedly as she washed the blood off from the rabbit in the river before sleeping. 

Orenwen laid out the old blanket close to the fire, she added some more wood and curled up for a day’s rest, wishing she had a tent and hoped it didn’t rain later. Her journey would continue in the early evening and on to Windhelm in the dark, which would take another two days. As she laid by the fire to keep warm, wrapping her curled body in her worn cloak, she worried about the abandoned prison ahead of her. She prayed that it was destroyed enough that there would be no Thalmor lingering in the area. Just in case, her plan was to head slightly north of the prison, a few miles away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kaidan had been walking for days. In all that time, his mind and heart never eased. It allowed him too much time to assess and reflect on his life and choices. Admittedly, there were only three women in his life that mattered to him, but in that time, he had been betrayed by all three. He wondered how he managed to pick women just to have them stab him in the back. Everyone in his life had betrayed him, even Brynjar, who chose to die rather than stay with Kaidan. It started to tear away at him, the bitter feeling rising like bile in the back of the throat.

The first girl he loved was young, they both were. Brynjar would be in the tavern drinking his pain away, as usual, leaving Kaidan to explore and do whatever he wanted since he was older. He was only eighteen at the time when he saw her, both of them were instantly drawn together. Whenever he could slip out while Brynjar turned his mind to alcoholic mush, he would meet her for a late-night of kissing and fumbling in the dark as they made love. He lost his virginity to her, and loved her, telling her as much. She, too, felt the same, and talked about plans to escape together, spend the rest of their lives in love.

Six months of love and confessions, she informed him she was to wed another, some courtier. Her chin held high, proud she could marry a noble, scoffing at Kaidan as if he were a mere child and the ridiculous notion that they could ever be. She might have loved the idea of love and happily ever after, but she never loved Kaidan. He was crushed, learning the bitter taste of betrayal early on. 

Kaidan was twenty-two when Brynjar died of drunken exposure, lying at the foot of the temple as if he wanted to die, meeting his god in the end. Another betrayal, in a sense, the fact that Brynjar chose death over Kaidan, left him angry. It was then he met the Blooded Dawn. After much reflection on that fateful night, he set out to kill the cult members, he wasn’t surprised by Rosalind’s betrayal. He was too busy drunk or on skooma and moon sugar to see the signs for what they were. But at the time, all he felt was rage at her betrayal. He believed she too loved him, but she never did. She only loved his anger, the darkness his soul had turned into.

Now at twenty-four, Orenwen arrived in his life, the worst of them. He had known her the least amount of time, and while he had not fallen in love with her, he knew he would have. Her betrayal was the most painful. Perhaps it was the fact it took so long to trust her, and when he did, it was in total. She began as an enemy, and in the end, he cared about her, trusted her more than anyone. Yet Kaidan was conflicted. That look in her eyes told him she felt guilt, but her actions and words stated otherwise. He just didn’t understand why. 

Did Orenwen really not care about him? Was it all a ploy until she could find the perfect opportunity to leave? Did she stay with him because she had nothing else? Maybe she meant it, but seeing the Thalmor drew her back in? He just didn’t know, and getting answers was now an impossibility. She was gone. Kaidan tried to shove it all in the back of his mind, burying it deep enough to keep it from rising to the surface and move on. His goal was Solstheim in the ash wastes. Surely there will be some work for him. If not, there were other countries he could travel to. He was young and had his whole life ahead of him still, but that nagging in the back of his mind reminded him how truly alone he was. Kaidan wondered if this was how Brynjar felt towards the end, utterly alone, despite having Kaidan.

It was morning when he passed the City of Whiterun, heading straight until Eastmarch, then cut up North to Windhelm, glad to finally be done with the damned quest, no longer caring if the old man was alive or not.

As Kaidan walked on the road, he noticed a horse tied up to a tree, munching on grass. He usually wouldn’t give a horse a second thought, but It looked so much like Bella, it nearly broke his heart, remembering how much Orenwen loved her. The horse was gone now along with Orenwen, and he hoped she took good care of her. He was uncertain after her betrayal what was real and what was not when it came to the Altmer.

As he drew near, he couldn’t get it out of his head how much the horse looked like Bella, right down to the white splotch on her hose. As he got closer, an angry knot formed in the pit of his stomach when he could see that horse was, indeed, Bella. It had to be as the saddle was exactly the same. If that was Bella, then surely Orenwen was nearby. His gut clenched, teeth ground together as his jaw tightened. The feeling of rage was nearly overwhelming.

_The bitch must be looking for me. Did she find out I lived and sought to finish the job?_

Kaidan quickly ducked behind a boulder to not be seen, watching. He could see someone lying, sleeping by a fire. He found it strange if that was her, that she was asleep in the daytime. Anyone could stumble upon her. He didn’t doubt how she could have possibly made it this far since she had Bella.

Dropping his pack quietly, he unsheathed his dagger and silently walked to her camp. He had to be as quiet as possible, knowing how keen her hearing was. He prayed to all the gods that Bella would be quiet and not neigh or snort as she was prone to do when she was about to receive kisses. Fortunately, Bella was busy clearing the ground of all grasses. Kaidan was going to demand some answers out of the Thalmor bitch before he slit her throat. 

Kaidan managed to sneak up on her sleeping form despite him not being overly silent. She must have been exhausted to sleep so heavily to not have noticed him, dead to the world. When he reached her, he looked down and before him wasn’t the Orenwen he knew. She looked like a wreck. She hadn’t bothered grooming her hair that was in knots, she was in a torn and worn cloak, and strangely she was wearing her shift, which was covered in blood. Her breeches and boots were at least two extra sizes too big for her. For the first time since she shoved him off the cliff, doubts crept into his mind. She didn’t look like a Thalmor bent on his death. 

Shaking his head as if doubts would fall out, Kaidan reminded himself who she really was. No, he remembered her intentionally shoving off the cliff. He heard her words to the Thalmor that found them as he laid there nursing his ankle. Hardening his heart, he placed the cold dagger against her throat, he ordered her to wake up.

“Get up, you betraying Thalmor bitch!” he spat.

Orenwen opened her panic-filled eyes, which widened further when she felt the steel pressed to her throat. “What…” Looking up at her attacker, she saw Kaidan, his red eyes darkened in seething anger.

“Sit up slowly. Keep your hands pressed to the ground. If you so much as flinch, I will kill you.”

“Kai…”

“Shut...up! I have some questions for you, and you will answer each one. Then I will decide what to do with you. The only thing I want from you is the truth.”

Orenwen was relieved to see Kaidan alive and well, though furious, as she expected. She wanted to rush to explain to him before he changed his mind and killed her. She would answer his questions and attempt to weave in her side of the story. Placing her hands to the ground as he ordered, she tried to plead with him once more.

“Kaidan, please h…”

She watched him close his eyes for a moment as if to calm himself down. “No, I ask the questions, and you speak only with answers. Nod if you understand.”

When Orenwen nodded, he asked his first question. “Why? Why did you do it?”

“To save your life.”

“Horker shit! Stop your lies! I heard what you said to your fellow Thalmor. I heard about your plans.”

Orenwen could feel the tears spill down her face, her fears came true that he loathed her. She knew he would be angry, but still, it stung a bit to know that after all she had done to win his trust, he still doubted her. “I swear to you, Kaidan. I was trying to save you. I had to say those things, so they didn’t go looking for you. I had to convince them I killed you. I…”

“Stop lying!” He didn’t want to believe she did what she did to save him. Kaidan wanted to be angry with her. He wanted to stop her from putting doubts in his head.

“Kaidan! Shut up and listen!” Though she still had tears in her eyes, she was firm and demanded. She needed him to listen to her. “I knew I didn’t kill you! I pushed you at the right moment and time, knowing you would live, though I did worry about injuries. Think about it, Kai. Why would I have thrown your pack to you, giving you needed supplies, when you fell? Why didn’t I take any other opportunity to kill you? I could have basted you off of that cliff if I wanted you dead. Do you know how many times I could have killed you if I wanted to? Think about it.”

“But you said...you explained to them…”

Orenwen was not going to let his doubts cloud what she was telling him. She could tell she was reaching him and pushed forward. “Pushing you was the only way. I could hear them before you could. They were going to take you to Ondolemar. If you thought you were in pain before from the Thalmor, you have not experienced Ondolemar. No, I couldn’t have him getting to you. They must believe you were dead and that I killed you.”

Kaidan found himself wanting to believe her, but doubts continued to linger. He was quietly processing all she was telling him. The rushing of the waters and birds chirping was all that could be heard. Shaking his head, he still couldn’t quite let it all go. “If that is true, we could have taken them, Orenwen.”

Orenwen could see him coming around bit by bit, like chipping away carved stone, but the doubts lingered. Years of betrayals could do that to a person, so she could hardly blame the man. “No, we could not have taken them. There were too many. Look, I understand your struggles with trust. I swear to Auri-El and all that is good in this world that I did not betray you. I care too much about you.”

Orenwen looked away from Kaidan, anger plaster her face, tears continuing to spill, looking back at her own betrayal. “They brought me to my aunt. Mithlas, the one who captured you last time, lived after the attack at the prison. He witnessed me pushing you out of the way, saving you and informed my aunt. While I was able to talk myself out of that, Elenwen had her own reports. Her network of knowledge is vast.”

Orenwen looked back at Kaidan, his red eyes no longer darkened in anger. “You and I were seen together in Markarth...our kisses and hand-holding are what did me in. I had no idea Ondolemar was stationed there, my blasted instructor in the ways of torture...bastard! I was out in the open for all the Thalmor to see me in my unguarded stupidity.”

“How did you get away then? How did you manage to escape your powerful aunt?” he demanded, though he let the dagger drop away from her throat.

Orenwen had her own face of bitterness at her personal betrayal; her tears spilled heavily down her filthy face leaving clean trails in their wake, lip quivering. “My aunt had my parents killed, Kai.” She couldn’t take anymore, ignoring Kaidan’s order to keep her hands on the ground, she lifted them to her face as she wept.

“What?!” Kaidan sat hard on the ground, finally relaxing around her. He realized that she too had been betrayed, painfully so. He believed what all she was telling him at that moment. Her grief was raw and very much real.

“Yes, my parents and I headed Alinor to convince Elenwen to stop her involvement with the Thalmor. They knew they would most likely be unable to stop her peacefully, and had prepared alternative, violent means in doing so. My aunt got wind of the coup and had my parents killed. They were supposed to capture me and send me to my aunt, but stupidly, I was brought there any way by one of our guards. I assume he did not know of my parent's intentions, or perhaps he was Elenwen’s plant. So then my aunt tried to raise me to be a good Thalmor, hoping to win me to her side. Who knows, perhaps she would have been successful had I not met you that fateful day. 

Apparently, I am soft and weak, so she ordered to have my training eased. No wonder I was not able to take seeing you be tortured. I could not stomach it.” Orenwen wept for a while thinking about her loss once more, knowing her own aunt had them killed.

“Oren…” Kaidan pulled her into him, and instead of easing her pain, it only made her cry that much harder as she sobbed into his chest. 

She finally composed herself, sat upright, wiping away her tears with the heels of her hands. “Sorry, uhm, where was I? Yes, my bitch of an aunt. She called me out on my lies and threw me into the prison at the Embassy, stripping me of all my clothes and gear except for this shift. They were to starve me, give me no water for two days before the interrogation started...interrogation into my knowledge about you.

Little did they know I had been practicing my lockpicking with my Alteration spell, and I managed to escape. I fell into a cave, the only way out of the prison, and came face to face with a bastard troll, hence all the blood on my shift. It took me a couple of days to fully heal. There it is, my sad excuse for a story. I am so very sorry I led you to believe I betrayed you. I can only imagine your anger. Though I can still hardly believe you found me. When I escaped, all I could think was getting to you, hence my atrocious appearance.”

“I forgive you, Oren. I’m so sorry I doubted you. It was Bella that led me to you. I thought I recognized her from the road. I’m glad I did. Can you forgive me?”

“There is nothing to forgive,” she said, looking down, picking at her dirty fingernails. “I am so tired, so angry, so sad. Yet...yet, so happy you are here.”

Kaidan didn’t say anything as he rushed to get his gear, then quickly set up the tent and bedroll so she could get some sleep, and he would keep watch. As Orenwen laid down, he kissed the top of her head. 

“I suppose we are going to have to go into hiding the rest of our damned lives...that is if you will still have me,” she said, yawning.

“I’m never leaving your side again. Just don’t throw me over any more cliffs.”

“Hrmph...no promises,” she teased as she drifted off to sleep once more, hearing Kaidan chuckle in the back of her mind.

The sun was setting when Orenwen finally woke up. It was the most comfortable she had been in days, not since Markarth and even that was debatable with those horrible stone beds, but holding Kaidan more than made up for it. 

Stretching, she climbed out of the tent to see Kaidan still awake, stoking the fire and roasting some fish, thanking all the gods it wasn't a rabbit again. 

“Feel better,” he asked when she came to sit next to him. 

“Much, thank you.”

He leaned into her, pursing his lips as Orenwen too reached for a kiss. “I must look atrocious,” she said, trying to fix the knots out of her hair.

“Well, I wasn’t going to say anything,” he quipped.

Orenwen playfully punched his arm. “Please do not...I know well enough. When will the fish be ready?”

Kaidan poked at it to check. “I’d say another fifteen minutes.”

“Good, I am going to freeze my body to get a bit cleaner.” Orenwen sighed wistfully, “I do miss that lovely soap. I hope to find some new bars somewhere.” 

“I have some soap in my pack if you want to dig for it. It’s not your lovely goat’s milk soap, but you will still feel clean.”

Orenwen dug around his pack until she found the soap, pulling it out. She looked around, but there weren’t many places to undress without him seeing her. The two had done nothing more than kiss each other, so she wasn’t used to undressing in front of him.

“I guess it has to wait,” she complained.

“Oren, go bathe. I promise to be a gentleman.”

“Fine, but no peeking!”

“Gentleman...sort of,” he whispered.

“Kaidan!”

“I’m joking…mostly.”

“Kaidan!”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orenwen was snuggled next to Kaidan, her head on his shoulder, his arm wrapped around her. He was sleeping soundly, but she had already slept, so she was awake watching him, his face handsome and peaceful. 

She was relieved he allowed her to tell her side of things without killing her. He had that murderous look, and while she worried for a second, she discovered that if he let her speak, she could explain. It had not taken him much trust her again once the pieces of the puzzle fell into place, and things started to make more sense. He had been betrayed already, and his first reaction would be to feel that pain again.

Orenwen lifted her head and, with gentle lips, kissed him, not wanting to wake him up. She soon could feel something burn inside her. She wanted him, and more than just for a kiss, but she let him rest. They had plenty of time for that sort of pleasure for another time. 

A light rain was falling on the tent, the morning cold when Kaidan woke up. The fire had gone out a long time ago, but Orenwen helped keep him warm in the night. He was on his side, she facing him as he brushed away long ash blonde hair from her face. She looked better than she did yesterday. Orenwen must have rushed to find him, not stopping to even bathe. The relief he felt that she had not betrayed him after all, was almost overwhelming. He took a mental and emotional hit, thinking he kept making bad decisions in regards to the opposite sex. Knowing that he chose well with her did more than uplift his spirits, it soothed his very soul. It allowed him to open his heart to her, to not be so afraid of it.

Her shift had a gaping hole where the troll tore through it. Kaidan was using quite a bit of control to keep from shoving his hand in there, looking at her soft flesh that was peeking through. Apparently, he lacked complete control as he slipped a finger in there to see how smooth her skin really was, though he knew already. The velvety skin left him hard and wanting. Pulling his finger out, his eyes gazed towards her to see she was awake.

“Oh, I, uhm...I guess I shouldn’t have done that, sorry,” he said lamely.

“Checking to see if I am still soft, I see,” she teased, her golden eyes glinting in humor.

“Aye, one can’t be too careful. I had to make sure everything is in order.”

“Does it meet your standards?”

“I suppose. At least you don’t feel like an Argonian who has been out of the water too long.”

“Argonian! Why, you smelly, hairless troll,” Orenwen shouted in mock indignation.

“OK, fine...a damp Argonian then.”

“Now you are just being cruel,” she huffed, folding her arms and turning away. She wasn’t really angry; this had just become their typical banter.

“You know I tease. Your skin is still smooth as silk.”

“Now that is more like it.”

She laughed as he pulled her on top of him, holding her. “You may have noticed it’s raining outside.”

“Yes, do you have a point to this obvious observation?”

“Well, my point is, what should we do to pass the time before we move on?”

“Spare me your hints. I know what you want. It is written all over your face. You men never change. It is all about morning sex for you all.”

“You got us all figured out, do you?”

“I do, indeed, though it has been a while.”

Kaidan cocked his eyebrow, “What is ‘a while?’ I find it hard to believe you struggle to find someone.”

“Hmm, let me think...yes, it has been nearly three years.”

“Three years?!”

“Yes, I was in training with the Thalmor. Believe me, I had no interest in any of the men there. Foul beasts, the lot of them.”

Kaidan gave Orenwen a crooked smile, “I suppose we should remedy that.”

“Urgh,” Orenwen grunted, rolling her eyes. “Please tell me that is not the best that you can do to woo a woman into your bed.”

“I will show you the best I can do,” he said, rolling them over, him on top of her. 

“Kai, if you insist on giving me cheesy lines, I am just going to be on my way, rain or no rain.”

Kaidan turned serious, his mischievous smirk gone, jokes aside. “No, that is just me teasing, but I’m not lying when I say I want you, Oren.” He ran gentle fingers down her face, tracing her bottom lip with his thumb. “I can’t tell you how relieved I am that you came back and didn’t betray me. I...I was worried there was something wrong with me for a while. To know the truth, not only was a relief but internally, I felt whole once more. My soul feels healed by the knowledge you care for me enough to risk your own life.”

Orenwen was touched by his heartfelt confession. She grasped his face and pulled him down for a kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: Only thing to do while waiting out the rain.


	19. Trust is Everything

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What else is there to do while trapped on a stormy day in a tent? Read books, of course.
> 
> Elenwen is on the hunt, just to really ruin the mood.
> 
> Orenwen practices changing Kaidan's appearance, much to his dismay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW Content.
> 
> Thanks for reading! Please share your thoughts in the comments below <3

The spattering of rain, thunder in the distance, and the rushing waters were strangely peaceful as they held each other. Kaidan covered the front opening to help keep the tent a moderate temperature as he slowly undressed Orenwen. The two were standing on their knees as he pulled her shift over her head. Her now clean skin glowed in the dim light of the cloudy morning. 

Kaidan didn’t want to rush things, wanting to savor the moment. The closest thing he came to intimacy with Orenwen was in his fantasies. Now he was there with her, trailing his calloused sword fingers across her soft skin, a skin that deserved more delicate hands than his, but she didn’t complain. He made a mental note to find some of that soap she loved.

Fingers grazed her shoulders and trailed down to her pert breasts. They were almost as he imagined them, small barely filling his large hands, but they were beautiful. Looking up, her normally bright and glowing eyes darkened in lust as she watched him touching her. Cupping a hand behind her head, fingers tangled in her hair, he pulled her in for a kiss, their tongues meeting, wrapping around each other. It wasn’t hurried or in desperation. It was slow, meaningful, purposeful, wanting to feel all they could.

Orenwen gently pushed him back, fingers grazing the scruff on his chin, tracing his face tattoo. Soon his tunic was being removed as Orenwen touched nearly every scar on his chest, stomach, and arms. He had so many for one so young. It pained her that he was injured so much, vowing to make sure there would never be a new one for the rest of his life. Her fingers continued to explore until she knew every inch of his flesh exposed to her.

Kaidan, while enjoying her delicate touches, wanted more. He pulled away her hands and gently lowered her on her back onto the bedroll. He struggled with the knot of fabric holding up her breeches, growling in frustration as she giggled. He wanted the moment to be perfect only to be balked by fabric.

“Kai, allow me,” she said, moving his hands out of the way. She used a small flame spell and burnt away the fabric, finally allowing her breeches to be pulled off of her. 

Kaidan swallowed at the sight before him, his stomach fluttering in anticipation and nervousness. It was so different being with a woman he truly cared about it, making it more meaningful. Her lithe and golden figure was beautiful. Last went her smalls. He found himself smiling at her blushing, not understanding why this creature before him was embarrassed. 

Orenwen sat up to remove the rest of Kaidan’s clothes, but he pushed her back down once more. “Later…” was all he said. He hovered over her, arms propping him up on either side as he bent down to kiss her once more. 

While for elves, time had less meaning than for humans, regardless, three years without being with someone could be felt. It took a lot of self-pleasuring to push aside the fact that she had not had a lover for a long time. The pent up desire was strong, simple touches making her burn within, getting wet with ease. Her heart raced in anticipation to fully have him, to have him more than just simple touches and kisses. Goosebumps raised on her flesh as he touched sensitive areas.

Her back arched, eyes closed as he ran a tongue over a nipple, the flesh sensitive from neglect. Her breath hitched at the feeling, fingers laced in his long dark hair as he moved to her other breast, pulling too hard as he nibbled. Orenwen could feel his hand slip between her legs as he ran a tongue in circles around her nipple. She could hear him moan at his discovery of how wet she was, slipping a finger inside her warmth.

Orenwen instinctively gyrated into his hand at the sensation. It was a strange, if not hypnotic feeling to have her senses so heightened, yet the pleasure making her eyes heavy with drowsiness. She moaned in encouragement, wanting more. 

Kaidan obliged as he ran a tongue down her soft and tender skin, her stomach muscles tensed in sensitivity. Hands flew from his hair to her breasts, legs spread, moaning loudly as his tongue barely grazed her bud. He tucked her sensitive nerves between lips and suckled, running his tongue around it. Orenwen keened, throwing her feet on his broad shoulders, exposing herself shamelessly, no longer caring. When he moved his mouth away to focus on other parts, fingers tangled in his hair once more in desperation. “No, please…” she muttered. 

Orenwen’s foggy mind knew he was trying to prolong her pleasure, but she could take no more, not caring if it was rushed. Her desire and desperation wanted him to finish her. She was too close to reaching her peak for him to stop now. Kaidan did as he was told as he focused his attention solely on her bud. 

Hands over mouth, she stifled her scream as she arched into his mouth, exploding, tears springing forth from her eyes. It had been entirely too long since she felt such intensity, never quite the same when she did it to herself with fingers. The tears weren’t from sadness or even happiness, just from the overwhelming sensation of her orgasm as she pulsed on his tongue. He didn’t ease up on her until she had to force him off of her.

Orenwen laid there weakly, numb, yet breathing heavy, heart pounding. Her mind was a fog, and the only thought she had was to have him inside of her. It was almost desperate as she weakly pawed at his breeches. “Please…” she mewled, grabbing his face to hers when she was unsuccessful at untying them.

Kaidan could barely contain himself while Orenwen was in her orgasmic throws. It was the strongest he had ever felt, and all he wanted to do was to shove himself inside of her right then and there, but he controlled himself, letting her finish. But her pleas did him in as she raced to remove his breeches she was unable to achieve. He easily slipped inside her slick warmth as she arched her back into him once more. 

“Gods…” she moaned out loud, grasping his face once more, pressing his forehead to hers as he thrust. Her moans spurred him to move faster. Her desperation became his as they panted in each other’s face. Kaidan was rewarded with a “more” from her as he pushed himself deeper, feeling her legs wrap around his waist, allowing her to move with him. 

Kaidan buried his face in her neck, her skin smelling vaguely like lavender from her wash last night. Orenwen’s arms desperately wrapped around him, as if her body clung to him for dear life, small kisses on his neck between her gasps for breath. Soon his trusts moved with a speed he didn’t know he had, pushing himself deeper inside of her warm core. His desire for her was his fuel, his fire, feeling it build inside as he burned for her.

Orenwen could sense him getting close, her eyes watering once more as he hit that sensitive spot inside her. Soon his rhythmic thrusts turned into short bursts as he exploded inside of her.

Kaidan felt a release like no other, grunting with each forceful thrust as he exploded. When he finished, he dared not move, still inside of her as he softened. Their faces speckled in perspiration as they kissed, slow and tender. He finally pulled out and rolled onto his back, still breathing too fast, but feeling quite numb and satisfied.

“Remind me to do that again,” he croaked.

Orenwen raised an eyebrow in his direction. “You need reminding? Well, that is...disappointing.”

“You know that was just an expression,” he chuckled. “No reminding necessary. I will want this all the time now, so you are in trouble.”

“Promises, promises.”

Kaidan wrapped an arm around her shoulders as she snuggled in close to him, drawing the blanket over them. Now that their lovemaking was done and their hearts settled, the air outside started to chill them.

“I suppose we must get dressed soon. Too bad we cannot stay like this forever.”

He kissed her forehead, understanding how she felt. “Aye, this I could get used to, but we must finish our job. Then we can talk about what we want to do with our lives.”

“Why not continue on our adventures, earning coin helping others?”

“You want to do that? You sure you don’t want something more?” Kaidan asked, a bit surprised.

“You know not all women need to find a house and have a dozen children.”

“No, I didn’t mean…”

“Of course you did, Kai. It is OK. Perhaps one day there could be children, but we are still young. I enjoy our travels together, our misadventures,” she quipped. But her mood took on a serious note. “In all seriousness and honesty, we need to keep moving. I am afraid to settle down, afraid Elenwen will find us.”

“You have a point. We cannot become complacent. I think we became such, which led to our problems in Markarth.”

“Yes, I have been thinking about that. We need to change our appearance, I believe, and I may know how,” Orenwen suggested.

Kaidan sat up, interested. “That would be useful, but it is hard to hide this tattoo from people, that and the fact I look unique, being an Akaviri.”

“Yes, I am aware. I know it will take more than a simple haircut or changing hair color. I think I can combine a restoration spell with an alteration spell to change our looks temporarily. The restoration spell will rid us of any tattoos, scars, and such that are easily identifiable. Alteration magic manipulates the physical world. If I can adjust my magic using the two schools of magic, I could come up with a spell to change our appearances temporarily. I do not think we wish to be permanently changed anyway, do we?”

“That would be amazing if you can achieve such a thing. If the Thalmor draw near, you can cast your spell, and they would never recognize us!” Kaidan said excitedly.

“Yes, that is the plan. Very well, I will work on this each time we rest. You can be my...test subject if you will.”

Kaidan looked at her, suddenly nervous about the idea. “This isn’t going to hurt, is it?”

“Certainly not...well, at least, I do not think so.”

“Your confidence is reassuring,” he added with sarcasm.

“I am teasing you, of course. Next time we stop, we can practice.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Elenwen sipped on her tea; a grimace appeared on her face at the taste, no amount of honey improved it. She missed her home in Alinor, being in this loathsome country far too long. She could have imported her favorite foods and drinks, but she ran out while traveling, forced to make due with the local cuisine. 

Elenwen hated this cold and backward country. She hated the villages, the constant cold, the lack of color in the terrain, and especially the Nords and their ignorant and brutish ways. She only stayed because her job was prosperous and important. Once the Aldmeri Dominion finished in their quest, she could live in peace as an immortal as they were meant to be. That meant no longer having to deal with the Nords, for they would be wiped off the face of this world.

She smiled at the thought then frowned when she sipped her tea once more. Elenwen just hoped she would be alive long enough to see it. 

Her thoughts soon drifted to Orenwen, her niece, and the one person she would make sure not to see the Aldmeri Dominion rise. It was a mistake to take in the girl; she knew that now. Elenwen had hoped to mold the girl how she saw fit being as young as she was at the time. But Orenwen had too much of her mother in her. Elenwen couldn’t break the girl of her soft side. 

Elenwen knew she could have broken the girl fully and rebuilt her from the ground up, but something held her back. Perhaps it was a soft spot for her being family. In the end, she quit caring. She killed her own sister and had no problems killing Orenwen, knowing the girl would never change and be a proper Altmer. And walking around kissing an Akaviri, an enemy of the Aldmeri Dominion—the nerve! _Stupid girl!_

Now she was on the hunt for Orenwen and the Akaviri, knowing the girl went to find him once more. Reports indicated Orenwen was smitten with the large man, by Auri-El, Elenwen couldn’t figure out why. 

Elenwen and a team of Thalmor Justiciars were camped North of Ivarstead after receiving reports Orenwen was headed near there. 

“Mithlas,” Elenwen called out from her large tent.

“Yes, Ambassador,” he replied, entering her tent.

“Take one other, someone you trust, with you and verify Orenwen and the Akaviri are headed towards the abandoned prison. Ride hard and fast so you don’t miss them. Then send a bird to confirm. Follow them closely, but you are not to engage. Do you understand?”

Mithlas bowed, “Yes, Ambassador. It will be done.” He wanted nothing more than to kill Orenwen and the Akaviri. He hated them both, but he would obey if only to get close to Elenwen and get ahead in the ranks.

Elenwen re-read all the missives on her niece since her escape, and her direction implied Orenwen was headed to Windhelm. She had to stop the girl before she reached the Stormcloaks. Elenwen couldn’t explain why Orenwen would risk being in the city that hated all races, especially those of Altmer and Dunmer descent. She could only assume the girl was going to try to form an alliance with Ulfric Stormcloak, and she would not have it. She must find the two enemies and kill them before they reached the city.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Mithlas took another Thamor, who was reviewed as being qualified for the task at hand. He didn’t have friends any longer as they all died in the abandoned prison with the dragon attack. They rode their horses hard and fast per the demands of Elenwen. 

When the two reached Gallows Reach, they made camp and laid in wait for Orenwen and the Akaviri. MIthlas was aware Orenwen had a horse as well, but reports indicated she was no longer running now that she found the Akaviri. He cursed under his breath, still unable to believe the woman betrayed them all, her people. He never liked her, but he never believed she had it in her to pull such a stunt. Mithlas would never underestimate anyone ever again.

It was early evening when he finally saw her and the Akaviri ride on the horse together, and it was his luck that they made camp not too far away for the night. He smirked with thoughts of killing them right there, and they would never know what hit them. He would have been praised and promoted was it not for the fact that Elenwen wanted to kill them herself. 

Mithlas grew hard in his breeches, grateful for the darkness so his partner couldn’t see. It was hard not to, seeing Orenwen disrobe and enter the hot springs naked. He may have hated her, but that didn’t mean he didn’t want to fuck her. He spent many nights in her company, privately stroking himself to her visage. His lust soon turned to disgust as the Akaviri disrobed as well, entering the water as they kissed and made love, his hardness soon withering away.

Mithlas, as well as the rest of the Thalmor, were trained by an old Bosmer who taught them the ways to command animals so they could communicate over long distances quickly. 

He cast his spell at the unsuspecting crow in the tree. As it neared, he tied a missive to its foot and sent it on its way to Elenwen. Here he would wait until her arrival, hoping she would be there on time before they left.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Where are they!” demanded Elenwen when she arrived alone on her horse. 

“Should you be traveling alone, Ambassador?” Mithlas asked, not answering her question.

“What I do is none of your concern, boy. Where are they?” she asked again.

Mithlas bowed, “Gone, Ambassador. It appears they headed North, proving your suspicions correct.”

“Blast it all! We need to reach them before they reach Windhelm. We will not be able to fight the Stormcloaks, and I am not ready to start the war in Skyrim yet. We need to ensure the Stormcloaks and Imperials do most of the work for us.”

“It will be my honor to be by your side when we confront them.”

Elenwen looked at Mithlas and his sniveling ways, then turned her attention to the other Thalmor. “You there, go back to camp. Your services are no longer required.”

He bowed and took his horse back to camp near Ivarstead.

When he was gone, Elenwen faced Mithlas. “You and I will deal with this. Orenwen is weak mentally, but she’s strong enough to fight back. She is, after all, my niece. The Akaviri is nothing to scoff at. He may not know magic, but we must not underestimate him.”

“Yes, Ambassador.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orenwen woke up early morning, excited they would finally put this mission to rest with the Phial by the afternoon, all over two potions for her. She rolled over and laid on top of Kaidan, smiling as his eyes woke up to her warmth and weight on his chest. “Good morning,” she sing-songed.

“Don’t tell me you want more already?” he asked, pretending to be exhausted from all her sexual energy.

“If your hardness is any indication, I do not think you would complain if I did.”

“You caught me. I can’t hide anything from you.”

“Well, it is not as if you are overtly hiding it,” she quipped as she wiggled her pelvis over his hardness, giggling as he groaned.

“You’re cruel.”

“You will quickly forget as we need to practice once more on your face.”

“No, I take that back...you are evil,” he said, laying his head back down.

“Now, now... You will thank me when I can succeed and hide us from my people.”

“Last time, my face looked like I was hit with a large boulder, then a troll took a shit on it.”

Orenwen’s giggles soon gave way to chortles at the image. “Kaidan, please do not ever make me visualize you as such again. It may prevent us from ever having sex in the future.”

“Yeah, can’t have that.”

“Indeed! Now sit up and hold still.”

“Why can’t you do your own face now?” he asked, almost imploringly.

“Because I cannot see my face. I will wait until my spell is perfect then I will cast it.”

Urgh, fine…”

Kaidan closed his eyes and hoped she did a better job this time. It didn’t hurt, but it felt strange having his face rearranged, perhaps because of the restoration spell. He was just grateful it wasn’t permanent, uncertain what he would have done had his face remained distorted from last time.

Orenwen sat cross-legged in front of Kaidan, concentrating on how she wanted him to look. First, she cast her spell to change his hair color, running hands along his dark locks. In time the black color soon gave way to another, and she grew excited, watching. Her excitement soon turned to embarrassment, then snorted a laugh when she managed to turn his hair pink.

“Oh, dear…”

“No, not ‘oh dear.’ Please tell me you didn’t ruin my beautiful hair,” Kaidan groaned, now worried about looking ridiculous getting into Windhelm. “I like my hair.”

“Well, it is certainly better than troll shitting, as you so eloquently put it.”

“Don’t wiggle out of this. What does it look like?”

“Fine, well, it is, uhm, quite a lovely shade of pink...bright pink.”

Kaidan reached around to grab a long lock pulling it to his face, eyes going crossed looking at it closely as he groaned once more. “Pink?! Windhelm is going to laugh me out of their city!”

“I am sorry, Kai. The good news is I managed to change the color without ruining your hair altogether...right?” she asked, a sheepish look on her face.

“Urgh.”

“At least you have a hood to cover up.”

“How long is this going to last again?” Kaidan asked full of worry.

“Hopefully, before we reach Windhelm,” Orenwen offered.

“So, you don’t really know?”

“Sorry…” she shrugged, kissing him in hopes to make up for it. “At least it is not permanent.”

“With my luck, it will be.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: What happens when you pin two angry Altmer at each other.


	20. Face to Face

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The battle ensues, the spells are cast, the swords are drawn. Will Elenwen finally achieve her goal and rid herself of Orenwen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! <3 Would love to know your thoughts in the comments.

Elenwen and Mithlas drew their cloaks tight about their bodies, covering their heads in their hoods as the weather started to turn foul with wind and snow. Typical weather for blasted Skyrim, especially farther North, Elenwen complained in her head, shivering. Elenwen hoped she and Mithlas would reach Orenwen and the Akaviri soon. They were getting too close to Windhelm. 

The barren landscape soon gave way to farms and small villages in the distance. Orenwen so far had mainly stuck to the roads, so they had to as well. The benefit of the cold was their cloaks hid their Thalmor robes in case they came across any Nords. 

Despite the weather, they pushed their horses as fast as they could. They could not let Orenwen and her companion get any further than they already had.

Mithlas had returned from riding up ahead to scout and had a smirk on his face. Elenwen knew that he found them. 

“Please tell me you have good news,” she said.

“Yes, they are up about a mile ahead. We can easily overtake them before they reach the next village of Kynesgrove,” Mithlas explained.

“It is about time. Let us be off and be done with this nonsense, to get rid of this foolish girl once and for all.”

“Agreed, Ambassador.”

“Just remember, Orenwen is mine to deal with. I do not care what you do with the Akaviri, just as long as you kill him.”

“Thank you, Ambassador. I will ensure he dies painfully.”

“Yes, but do not underestimate him or get cocky.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replied as he envisioned all he would do with the large man. After he brought the Akaviri to his knees, the man would be begging Mithlas for his life, but there would be no pity, no remorse, no reprieve. There will only be pain and a slow death. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Kynesgrove is about a couple of miles ahead. Perhaps we should stop there and grab a bite at the inn before pressing on,” Kaidan suggested, pressing his cold cheek to hers as they rode Bella together.

“Indeed. I am getting quite cold anyway, and I am sure Bella would prefer a rest at a stable with warm straw.”

“Some warm spiced wine will be nice too.”

“Now you are just torturing me. Yes, that would be quite pleasant,” Orenwen said, a smile on her face looking forward to some food and good drinks. 

“I never much cared for…” Kaidan started to say before something powerful smashed into his back that sent him flying off of Bella, dragging Orenwen along with him as she fell on top of him. Bella nearly screamed in fear and ran off, leaving Orenwen and Kaidan stranded, struggling to get up.

“Kaidan! Are you injured? Are you OK?” Orenwen asked a bit frantically, more worried about him rather than what caused them to fall off Bella in the first place.

“I don’t think we have time to worry about injuries,” he said, looking off down the road to see two Thalmor quickly heading their way on their horses. Kaidan wanted to find Bella and run to Windhelm, but she took off, and they had no choice but to face the terror headed straight for them.

Regardless of what was going on around them, Orenwen looked in their direction, casting a general healing spell on Kaidan. As she looked on, the ground fell out from under her, seeing her aunt and Mithlas preparing to cast more spells to kill them.  _ No, no...how did they find us already?! _ Orenwen screamed in her head. “That’s not possible…”

Kaidan felt the warmth of healing, wishing he had his bow, wanting to start firing at the Thalmor from a distance, but it was gone along with Bella. Cursing, he drew his sword, watching for any spells cast. His goal was to knock them off their horses. He didn’t look to see if Orenwen was ready for battle...he knew she would be.

Two more fireball spells lobbed their way, and before Kaidan could roll away, Orenwen threw up her strongest ward spell, protecting them both as she screamed from their power, almost knocked back were it not for Kaidan’s wide frame keeping her steady. She wasted no time as she lowered her ward spell and blasted the two Altmer off their horses with her telekinesis spell. She maliciously grinned, seeing them fall on their backs with the wind knocked out of them. They were not expecting her to react so quickly.

Orenwen, not waiting for them to recuperate, lashed out at them using her chain lightning, but both rolled out of the way just in time as dirt exploded where they previously lay. She cursed as the two went separate directions, forcing her and Kaidan to do the same. 

“Go after him, Kai. I will handle my aunt!” she ordered, facing her aunt, not seeing if Kaidan did as she asked.

“Handle me?!” Elenwen scoffed, overhearing Orenwen’s words. “You could barely handle your Thalmor training, let alone handle me, my dear.”

“Now that I know what is at stake, you will see a side to me you have never seen. Your underestimating me will be your undoing,” Orenwen informed her aunt, though her body was wracked with fear. She bolstered but doubts that she could defeat her aunt were nearly paralyzing. With a deep breath to calm herself, she cast her Ebony Flesh spell to help protect her, not wanting to spend all her fight on the offensive.

Orenwen cast her armor just in time as several ice spikes bounced off of it harmlessly. 

“Weak! Can you not handle a few simple spells cast your way without resorting to armor, girl?” Elenwen sneered.

Orenwen ignored the taunts as she cast a wall of flames so she could focus on Kaidan for a moment as she conjured a Dremora in his direction to assist him. While she was hidden behind the wall of flames, she changed her position, hiding behind a large boulder. She didn’t care if it appeared cheating or cowardly. She was going to use every tool at her disposal for her aunt was a superior mage.

“Coward!” Elenwen screeched, ward up, looking around for her niece.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

There was no way Kaidan could fight the mage from a distance without his bow. He was going to have to go on the defensive and get up close and personal, hopefully, force the mage to melee. Each time he rolled out of the way from fire and ice, he was inching closer to the Mer, but Kaidan was unable to get too close to the Thalmor, who cast spells far too fast. All he wanted to do was wipe that smug look off the elf.

Kaidan finally had his chance when a Dremora appeared out of nowhere, hoping Orenwen cast it to assist him and not the other way around. When he saw the black and red horned creature attacking Mithlas, who was distracted for a moment, he finally had his chance. The Dremora was no match for Mithlas, but it served its purpose as he easily killed it.

As soon as Kaidan was within reach, sword raised, the Thalmor conjured his own sword as they clashed metal to magic. He couldn’t be distracted in the battle, but it was difficult wanting to continuously check on Orenwen, but he had to maintain focus. He knew well enough that she was strong and could hold her own, but Elenwen was one of the leaders of the Thalmor for a reason.

Mithlas was nearly as strong as Kaidan, despite a leaner frame, and nearly as tall. Their swords clashing, the two almost entwined in one another as if in some duel of strength, struggling to push each other off. It was Mithlas who won that round, using his telekinesis spell to throw Kaidan off.

A loud and breathy noise escaped Kaidan’s mouth as he landed hard on his back, the wind knocked out of him. Feeling sluggish, he tried to get up as quickly as he could, but his heavy armor made it difficult as he was blasted once more, this time with ice, nearly freezing in his armor. Cursing, he was getting too far from the Thalmor and needed to regain the distance once more. 

A dagger, yes. A dagger would help. He rolled around, staying away from the flung spells, pulling out his blade. Upright once more, he threw the knife at the elf, and Kaidan was rewarded with a painful grunt from the Altmer who yanked the dagger out of his thigh. Kaidan ran at the elf before he could have a chance to heal and body-slammed him to the ground.

With a gloved fist, Kaidan smashed the elf’s face several times, nearly successful in knocking him out. Soon Kaidan felt his body flung once more as he landed hard on his back.

Bleeding Mithlas wiped it off from his nose, no longer smug as he cast his chain lightning in both hands, grinning at the Akaviri’s cries of pain, the electric currents ripping through his body as his armor proved to be an effective conductor.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orenwen’s back was pressed up against the boulder as her aunt flung spell after spell at her. It wasn’t that she was hiding for fear’s sake, though she was certainly afraid. The desired effect would be to wear down Elenwen enough, to drain her of Magicka as much as possible, to give Orenwen a more equal footing against her aunt.

“I never should have taken you in, dear niece. I should have known you were as weak as your parents. It was ignorant of me to believe you could be shaped and molded. That is on me. I should have just killed you along with your parents.”

Orenwen knew Elenwen was trying to taunt her out of her hiding spot, to get angry and lash out. Anger would mean mistakes. Orenwen sucked in air, trying to calm herself from the pain and a reminder that her aunt was everything the Nords believed the Altmer to be.

The destruction spells were getting closer to Orenwen as her aunt grew bolder with every passing moment Orenwen didn’t react defensively. She wanted her aunt to believe she was too afraid. It was another advantage for her, as her aunt started to grow over-confident, but it also left Orenwen more vulnerable, forcing her out of hiding. 

As she started to move, she saw Kaidan flung onto his back as Mithlas got the upper hand, electrocuting Kaidan to death. She had to stop it at any expense, losing her advantage over Elenwen. A quick paralytic spell should get Mithlas to let go of his spell and give Kaidan a moment to recuperate. Then she threw a healing spell at Kaidan as she put her ward spell just in time to block the fireball spell.

Orenwen was losing Magicka with her continuous assault. As masterful at magic, as she was, she could only produce spells for so long without being replenished with potions, and none were to be had. 

Both her Ebony Flesh and ward spells came down as she was hit with an ice spear in the shoulder. Screaming, she cast a fire cloak spell to melt it while continuing her battle against her aunt. One-handed she blasted her aunt with several fireball spells, one of them hit her aunt squarely in the chest, though she had her ward up, flinging her back against a tree, burning her robes.

Once the ice melted from her shoulder, she did a quick heal and lobbed fireball after fireball against her aunt once more, not ready to let go over her advantage. But Elenwen quickly recovered, casting her own healing spell, and rolled away before the spells hit her. She was weakening, but she was by no means weak. 

Using every bit of Magicka she had, Elenwen cast her blizzard spell at Orenwen. Orenwen had no chance to cry out for help or do anything as she was freezing to death, unable to move. The pain was unbearable to be frozen inside and out, her body convulsing in shivers, feeling herself quickly weakening. Kaidan flashed through her frigid mind, hoping he would make it, even if she didn’t.

“It is time for you to die, my dear.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Feeling the healing course through his body, thanks to Orenwen, and seeing Mithlas paralyzed, he ran at the Altmer to kill him. But Mithlas was too strong, soon breaking free of the spell before Kaidan could reach him. He was weakening, not as strong as Elenwen, as he started to run out of Magicka. He cursed under his breath as the Akaviri was no longer focused on him as he ran towards Orenwen. “Bastard…”

Kaidan was about to lunge after the Altmer when he saw Orenwen suddenly frozen by Elenwen, crumbling to the ground. He knew if he didn’t reach her, she would be killed. She saved him too many times, and now it was his turn to save hers, completely ignoring Mithlas.

Mithlas was not going to be ignored by the Akaviri. He would kill the large man one way or another. Knowing that Orenwen would soon be dead, he focused the last bit of his energy on the Akaviri with another chain lightning spell with both hands. He savored the screams once more, knowing the man was in excruciating pain. Soon, they would both be dead, and he would be promoted, raised up in the Thalmor ranks.

Kaidan screamed once more, and not just from the pain, but unable to reach Orenwen, who was turning blue as she froze to death. He knew she wouldn’t be able to live much longer if he couldn’t do something soon, but he couldn’t move, the pain was unbearable, but he tried. He crawled to her, attempting to reach her. 

Something changed as Kaidan was no longer burning from the inside out. He looked weakly over to see Mithlas, shock on the elf’s face as several arrows protruded from his chest, falling face forward onto the ground, dead.

Kaidan wasted no time in seeking out who his savior was, his only thought was to get to Orenwen. He lunged his body in front of the spell to block anymore damage to Orenwen, feeling his own body freeze in pain, which was already weakened from the lightning. Orenwen laid there unmoving, still blue. He felt his soul crush, thinking she was dead. He was too late. 

Anger was an interesting thing. It could give a strange sort of power, where none could be found before, like an endless reservoir of energy. It was a type of energy that made one feel they could overcome anything, if even for a moment. He stood despite the pain, slowly walking over to Elenwen, sword raised. Despite the anger, the pain did not subside, but he was able to push it back, his only thought was to kill the Thalmor Ambassador. 

Kaidan watched in shock as Elenwen was shot by two arrows before Kaidan yelled out, “Stop! I need her! She has to bring my partner back from the brink! Stay your hand!”

He weakly walked over Elenwen now that the spell was no longer cast. Removing his frozen armor before any more damage could occur, he reached Elenwen, who was gasping in pain on the ground, still alive, and kneeled before her. 

“I will not kill you if you heal her,” he offered, grunting in pain, out of breath, but his eyes never wavered from the vile woman.

“She’s already dead,” Elenwen spat, trying to retain her authority, though none was left.

“You will try anyway.”

When Elenwen refused to answer, Kaidan drew his sword to kill the woman. There would be no point in her living if she refused to help. 

“Wait!” she yelled out. “You will promise that you will not kill me?”

“Aye, I promise.”

“Then help me up,” Elenwen demaded.

Kaidan did as she asked and helped her up only because she was going to save Orenwen. He refused to give in to thoughts of desperation and grief until he knew for certain Orenwen was dead. He then took the opportunity to look around and see they were surrounded by several Stormcloak soldiers. Kaidan gave a brief nod but didn’t stop to thank them yet, not until he knew Orenwen would be OK.

He threw the woman to the ground, “Heal her!”

Elenwen grunted in pain when she was thrown to the ground, an arrow still lodged in her stomach as it penetrated deeper. She wasn’t sure how much strength she had left to heal Orenwen, but she would try. The very idea that she would bring her niece back rankled her in a way she could barely describe, but Elenwen’s desire to live far outweighed the desire to see her niece dead. When she healed her niece, she would heal herself.

With one hand, she placed on Orenwen’s arm and the other on her heart. She cast a low fire spell to warm the girl up because she couldn’t heal while she was still frozen. With the other hand on her heart, she used a restoration spell. Orenwen was dead, but she tried anyway, hoping she wasn’t dead long enough that Elenwen couldn’t bring her back. If she couldn’t bring her niece back, the Akaviri would kill her.

Kaidan watched Elenwen cast her spells, seeing Orenwen regain some color, but she looked deathly pale, and he knew deep down she was dead, her eyes open and still. He could feel the pain deep in the pit of his stomach as he pushed back the tears, refusing to let them flow. If he fell into despair, it would mean he gave up on her. He knew some mages were strong enough to bring others back from the dead, and Elenwen was a strong mage. 

After a few minutes, Elenwen looked at the Akaviri and shook her head, resigning to her own death. 

“Try again,” he demanded.

“I do not have enough to give her.”

“I don’t care. You will try again,” Kaidan cried out, angry that a tear slipped. He flinched when he felt a gentle hand rest on his shoulder.

“I can help,” said a young Nord woman. She didn’t like casting spells, and Nords mistrusted mages, but she had practiced Restoration for a long time to help her fellow soldiers when they fell in battle. She eyed the Thalmor woman before her with mistrust, “We will heal her together. Our combined efforts will be enough, I hope.”

Elenwen was exhausted, but she nodded, having one last chance to live. 

After a few minutes, both women, exhausted and fully drained, stopped their healing. Kaidan sat holding her cold hand, finally letting the emotions go as he wept quietly, her hand pressed to his lips. He finally found someone to care for, someone he could trust only to have this crazy, vindictive Thalmor kill her own family member because Orenwen dared to be kind, giving, loving. He was tired of being surrounded by betrayal after betrayal, emotionally and mentally exhausted from it all. 

The anger soon boiled over, and all his thoughts were the slaughter of Elenwen. He stood and drew his sword, watching the Thalmor woman try to crawl away. “Please,” he could hear her plea, but it fell on deaf ears. 

“Kaidan,” a whisper came to his ears. He tuned out Elenwen’s cries, hearing Orenwen’s weakened voice. He turned to see her still lying on the ground, but her hand was held out, trying to reach for him. 

“Oren!” Kaidan yelled, scrambling towards her and grabbed her hand, kissing it, feeling the warmth return to her. Where there were tears of anger and sadness, they were soon replaced with ones of joy and relief. “You live!” he said, voice cracking.

“Was I dead?”

“Aye,” he nearly sobbed out.

“Oh… Help me up, please.”

Kaidan picked her up, but she insisted she stand and slowly, weakly walked towards her aunt. She picked up Kaidan’s sword that he dropped in his rush to get to her. It was heavy and gainly, but she lifted it enough, aiming it at her aunt. 

“Please, Orenwen, your Akaviri said I could live if I healed you, and I did. I helped to heal you. You live because of me.” She then turned to the Akaviri, pleadingly, “You promised.”

“Aye, I promised  _ I _ wouldn’t kill you. I made no such promises for Orenwen.”

“This is for my parents…” Orenwen whispered as she thrust the heavy sword into Elenwen’s heart.

Suddenly cheers burst forth around them, seeing Stormcloaks clapping, smiles on their faces knowing the Thalmor Ambassador was finally dead, giving them an advantage in the Civil War.

Kaidan gave a quick hug to the Nord woman who helped heal her and then rushed to Orenwen, who nearly collapsed and quickly passed out in his arms.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Orenwen woke up to Mundus shining in the colorful and ornate window, in a comfortable bed and soft covers. She stretched, feeling refreshed and nearly normal again, though her stomach growled with hunger. It felt like she hadn’t eaten in days. As her sleepy mind cleared, memories returned of the battle with her aunt and Mithlas. Relief washed over her that it was over, and they were dead. They deserved everything she and Kaidan threw at them, but her life and that of Kaidan’s would never be over with the running. The Thalmor would continue to hunt them, especially with their Ambassador dead. But she wouldn’t worry about such things at the moment and think about her more immediate problems, like where she was.

She looked around the large bedroom to see Kaidan sleeping in a comfortable chair, stockinged feet propped up on a table, chin slumped to his chest. Orenwen smiled in relief that he was no worse for wear, grateful he was by her side through it all and lived.

Sensing something different in the air, Kaidan stirred awake, looking around to see Orenwen awake and smiling lightly at him, reaching out to him. He got up, grabbed her hand as she pulled him gently in the bed. 

“Hold me, Kai.” When he pulled her close, she found herself suddenly weeping, not sure why. Perhaps it was relief her aunt and Mithlas were finally gone and out of their lives. “It’s finally over.”

“Aye.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next: One more chapter :(


	21. That Damned Phial - Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaidan and Orenwen's journey ends and they finally, after all that time, returned the repaired White Phial all for a couple of potions for Orenwen that started them on their journey in the first place.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW Content

The Jarl of Windhelm, Ulfric Stormcloak himself, the man who hated other races, allowed Orenwen and Kaidan to stay in the room reserved for nobles. His guards had brought the two to him, the female elf passed out in the large man’s arms. The soldiers explained while on duty in Kynesgrove, they could see some magical battle in the distance and went to investigate as it was too close to the village. Once they reached there, they found two Thalmor attacking two citizens, nearly killing one and managed to kill the other. The Stormcloak guards took it upon themselves to kill the Thalmor while they were distracted. 

It was explained to the guards by the strange-looking male that the female High Elf was actually the niece of the Thalmor woman, who it turned out was the Thalmor Ambassador to Skyrim, Elenwen. They had never seen Ulfric so pleased with any outcome or success in their battles, not knowing that it was Elenwen herself who had tortured him for nearly two years.

To have that vile woman dead was a blessing to Ulfric, and he planned to award the High Elf woman and her companion for it. They stood before him in deference a couple of days later, she was clearly nervous, perhaps because of her lineage. 

Ulfric, usually seated in his throne with an air of indifference, stood before the two, arms clasped behind his large frame, looking younger than his normal fifty-five years due to the good news and the small smile on his lips softened his face.

“Orenwen and Kaidan, words cannot express how appreciative I am that you have rid all of Tamriel of Elenwen. She was my bane, more than a thorn in my side for twenty-five years. I feel like I can finally breathe again. I owe you more than my gratitude. I heard your story, and I realize you did not do this for me, but to protect yourselves, but the outcome is the same.”

“Thank you, my Jarl,” Kaidan said, head bowed.

“I award the two of you, if you so wish, Thaneship of Windhelm and a large home of Hjerim. Before you get excited, there have been some murders there that have been resolved, but it has been cleaned up and ready to move in. It is yours if you want, free of charge.”

Kaidan and Orenwen looked at each other, not sure what to do with the offer. Part of them would rather have the money. “Uhm, can we talk in private about it for a moment, my Jarl,” asked Orenwen.

“Indeed…”

Kaidan and Orenwen stood closely to talk privately about what to do in a far corner to not be overheard.

“What do you think?” she asked.

“I don’t know. I never really had a home before, always on the move with Brynjar. And being a Thane? That’s...weird for me.”

“I can understand that. We do not have to take it, but it would be nice to have someplace to come home to when we finish missions. Not that I love Windhelm, and admittedly, the whole murder thing is more than a bit strange. I do not think being a Thane is anything more than just being a noble. It is more honorary than anything.”

“You’re right, it would be nice to have someplace to come home to. Sleeping in inns does get tiring now and again.”

“Indeed, and we have to keep you away from those wenches,” she teased.

“Yes, we couldn’t have that,” he smiled back. “But you know I only have eyes for you now.”

“I should hope… So, what is it going to be? I will let you decide this, but I would not mind a home. Slushing through mud all the time does get a bit tiring and ruins my lovely feet.”

Kaidan smirked at her, knowing she was downplaying it. He knew she grew up wealthy and would be more comfortable having a home. “Perhaps we shouldn’t, Orenwen. If anyone understands the need to remain hidden and on the move, it is me. The Thalmor will not stop looking for us.”

Orenwen looked down sadly and nodded. “Yes, you are correct. They will continue to hunt us. Perhaps...perhaps a small house deep in the woods? It would be nice to have someplace we could call home, even if it was once in a while.”

“Aye, I think we can figure something out,” Kaidan relented, brushing some stray hairs from her face.

When they returned to Ulfric, they turned down his offer explaining why and he, in return, paid them several thousand Septim instead for their reward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After meeting with the Jarl, Orenwen and Kaidan finally headed to the White Phial to finally be rid of the mission items. It had taken nearly three months to complete, and they hoped after all that the old man would still be alive, though they had their doubts.

The days were now frigid and windy, and they pulled their cloaks about them tightly, heads tucked against the wind, and careful not to slip on the ice. Kaidan held the door to the White Phial open for Orewen, who slipped in, and he followed after. Quintus was at the counter, which didn’t bode well that the old man was alive. 

He didn’t recognize the two at first, but soon dawned on him, they were the people whom he had sent to retrieve items to fix the White Phial for his master. It had taken so long, he wondered if they were ever going to come back. 

Orenwen laid the items on the counter. “We apologize this took so long. The items were difficult to find and we ran...well, into a couple of snags along the way, but we are here now.”

"Thank the gods! I'll get to work on the Phial straight away. It shouldn’t take, but a moment, please wait here." 

Kaidan and Orenwen took a seat while Quintus gathered the materials and rushed off to repair the phial, excitement in his every move to finally be able to finish his master’s dream and hopefully heal the man.

Orenwen and Kaidan, sat down at a table to wait while they heard the man banging around, clashing pots and clinking vials, hoping it wouldn’t take too long. They both had dealt with this mission far too long, and just for two potions. 

Finally, after nearly an hour, they saw Quintus rush off upstairs, mumbling ‘just a moment’ to them.

"Master, look. It's the Phial,” Quintus announced.

"What? How?" Nurelion asked in surprise, though weakly. It was clear he was dying.

"It doesn't matter. Look, it's refilling with your tonic as we speak."

"Marvelous."

Quintus came downstairs, sadness in his eyes. It was too late. The Altmer had died, and the potion didn’t work. "He is gone. But thanks to you, he died knowing his life's work was not in vain." 

“Are you telling me he died anyway...after all that?” Orenwen asked.

“Yes, he was too far gone, but he was pleased that his life’s work was realized. He died a happy Mer, thanks to you two.”

“Well, I am sorry for your loss,” she offered.

“As am I. You acted very nobly in helping my master realize his life's work. Thank you for that. As for myself, I've always been content to simply be an alchemist. I fear keeping the Phial would just remind me of Nurelion's obsession and how it consumed him. Here, you keep it. You both are as much a part of its legend now as Curalmil was. I hope it brings you the happiness that my master desired."

“What does it do?” Kaidan asked.

“It has the power to heal fully, no matter your injuries.”

“How is that different from any other healing potion?” Orenwen asked. 

“Well, the strength is greater than any other potion, but what makes it unique and special is that it replenishes itself in one day after use.”

“Oh, that is indeed special, thank you.”

“And here, some coin. I hope a thousand Septim will suffice?”

“Yes, thank you,” Kaidan said, accepting the coin purse dropped on the table.

“Farewell then, and thank you again,” Quintus offered.

When they left the White Phial, Kaidan pulled Orenwen in for an embrace as he slinked his arms about her waist. Her arms were gathered up to his chest from the cold, looking up at him.

“Now, I don’t know what to do. It can’t remember when I haven’t been running around or running away,” Kaidan said.

“Yes, we have worked on this mission for as long as we have known each other.”

“I guess we will have to find something to do now.”

“Oh, I could think of some things,” she smiled coyly at him.

“Is that so?”

“Indeed, perhaps a room with a fire to warm our cold and tired feet, a lovely bath…”

Orenwen and Kaidan, walked through the cold streets hand in hand, deciding to stay the night at the inn, then move on. There was a house near Ivarstead, but far enough away from the village he knew was for sale. They had enough coin now to buy it. Kaidan realized how much he loved her when she died, not realizing it until she was gone. He just hadn’t the courage yet to tell her, but he wanted to give her some semblance of normalcy if they were going to continue to hide. 

Before, he thought he was in love with the other women in his life, but now he knew what real love felt like. It wasn’t love before, he knew that now. Orenwen was real. She made him feel things he had never felt before. It wasn’t just lust or desire for her. The feeling was more profound than that. It was the trust he felt for her, the warmth he felt every time she touched him, even something so benign as holding his hand as she was currently doing. His heart fluttered, and his stomach turned in a pleasant way whenever he looked at her and saw her smile at him. It was those small things that told him how he felt.

In their room they rented for the evening, Orenwen wasted no time as she shoved Kaidan against the wall none too gently. “I had to listen to you moan and groan that night we were here last. While I was truly disgusted by the whole ordeal, now all I want to do is make you moan and groan like that myself,” she explained as she undressed.

“Do… do you now?” Kaidan choked out. He tried to be smooth but seeing her just whisk away her clothes and seeing her naked before him left him stuttering.

Orenwen stood before him, finger coyly pressed her open lips as if about to suck on it. “Oh Kaidan, how can I pleasure you today?” she said, in a high pitched, yet seductive voice. “Is it not what those wenches say to you?”

“Not exactly, but please, keep going…” he said, not moving from the wall, watching and waiting to see what she would do, already hard in anticipation.

“Sir, if you do not tell me what you would like, then I will just have to figure it out myself. Do you like surprises?” she asked, mimicking what she imagined a wench to say and do. Orenwen was standing right before him, untying the lacing in the front of his tunic and pulled it over his head. She ran gentle hands along his flesh, looking at him, lips hovering right over his, not kissing him.

“I do like them…” Kaidan replied, swallowing hard, ready to just take her.

“I think I might know what you like,” she whispered in his ear, her warm breath sending waves of goosebumps on his skin, breasts pressed up against his bare chest.

Orenwen eased down slowly to her knees, her face near his hardness. Kaidan could feel himself twitching down there in anticipation as she untied and unbuckled his breeches, slowly pulling them down. He watched her smile as he popped out as if in greeting.

Orenwen looked up at him as she grasped his hardness in hand. “I expect to get paid for this, you know,” she said, merely in jest, keeping up with her tavern wench role.

“If I find your services acceptable, I will pay you handsomely,” Kaidan replied, playing along.

“‘If?’ What an insult! Sir, you are in for quite a treat. I am the best.”

Kaidan didn’t know if that part was genuine or part of her role-playing, but he was eager to find out. He suddenly hissed, toes curling as she ran a soft tongue around his hardness, looking up at him to watch his reaction. Orenwen spent a great deal of time with the teasing and licking. While he was eager to get on with it, her attentions strangely relaxed him. 

His eyes grew large as her hands slid around his ass, and she pushed his hardness deep into her throat, filling her mouth almost entirely. He had never seen a woman, let alone a wench do that to him before. He wasn’t sure whether his high-pitched groan was in his head or not as he watched her move him in and out of her mouth, grazing him with her tongue. “Oh Gods…” he moaned.

Kaidan wasn’t sure what kept him standing as she rolled her tongue over his sensitive tip, then swallowing him wholly once more. He could feel the heat build and build, but seemingly out of nowhere, he exploded into her mouth. It happened so fast, he could barely prepare for it, let alone warn her, grateful she didn’t stop until he was finished.

“Did that meet your satisfaction, sir?” she asked, dabbling her lips clean with a finger.

“Mmhmm,” was all he could get out, nodding, eyes heavy, body nearly paralytic or numb. He couldn’t decide.

Kaidan felt like he was about to pass out, but he wasn’t done with her yet. Feeling a surge of sluggish energy, he pulled her up and kissed her, walking her backward to the bed.

It was late, and the two missed dinner downstairs in the tavern, having made love most of the day and night. But Kaidan managed to finagle some bread, cheese, and ale while everyone was sleeping, bringing it up to their room so they could replenish their energy. At least he left some coin and a note on the counter for the food.

They were in bed with their tray of food, Orenwen nibbling on a piece of cheese as Kaidan watched her feeling this sensation deep in his gut. He had to tell her. “Oren.”

“Hmm?”

Kaidan tucked some hair away from her face, dragging nervous and clammy fingers across her skin so she would look at him. “Oren,” he said again. “I have to admit, when you died at that moment, it nearly killed me.”

“I… I am sorry I worried you.”

“It was more than a worry. I thought I lost you, and it was...painful. Here I come to find a woman I can truly trust and...fall in love with only to have her die in front of me.”

Orenwen looked at him at that moment, brows furrowed. “You love me?” Those were words she wasn’t expecting yet from him.

“Aye, I know what it means now. You feel real to me and I...I feel like I have a purpose now, that my life feels fulfilled somehow. I am sure you probably don’t feel the same, and that is OK, but I hope you will one day.”

Orenwen wasn’t sure she was in love with Kaidan yet, but she cared deeply and knew she would. It was still early in their relationship. Or perhaps it was something else with years of emotions being repressed by her aunt and the Thalmor. She had no intention of leaving him, wanting to stay with him, but she wasn’t ready to say the words quite yet.

“I care deeply for you, Kai. More than you know. I feel things are still early, but I understand how you feel, and it touches my heart that you feel that way about me, and you trust me enough to tell me. It sounds insufficient, I know, but I do know I will get there, and I have plans to stay with you indefinitely if you will have me.”

Kaidan would rather have heard the words, but he knew they would come eventually. There was no rule where if one person loved the other, the other automatically loved them in return at the same time. At least she wasn’t afraid of his confession.

“That is also what I would like to talk about. There is this little house near Ivarstead for sale. I had been by there frequently and always had my eye on it, but found no reason to just settle down alone. Now I would like to buy it with you, live with you there. It is tranquil, secluded, but we are not so far from town should we need supplies. It is also beautiful, surrounded by snowy mountains and orange-leaved birch trees. You could practice your face changing magic, and we could leave periodically to go look for work. What do you say?”

“I say it sounds perfect.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“Hold still!” Orenwen grunted at Kaidan as she cast her spell on his face once more. It had been nearly six months since they lived in their little house in the Rift, and he was tired of having his face rearranged. He almost told her on several occasions just to leave his face rearranged as no one would ever recognize him, but his vanity always got the better of him, not that she took him seriously.

It was a beautiful day, and they were on a hill next to their house, overlooking the vast expanse of the Rift before them, having a picnic. 

“Maybe we should give up this endeavor. I heard there is a woman in Riften, with the Thieves Guild who can do this, though her’s are apparently permanent and cost quite a bit.”

“Nonsense. I can do this,” Orenwen said, not losing her focus.

“Love, it has been nearly six months now, more if we’re counting before we ran into Elenwen and her minion.”

Orenwen’s hands pulled away and smiled, “It’s done.”

“It’s done? Did you change my face...successfully? Why aren’t you more excited then?” Her lack of enthusiasm concerned him greatly.

“It is called downplaying it for a dramatic reaction, dear.” She handed him the looking glass she brought with her.

He took the glass from her with nervous hands. He should feel more confident with her letting him look because when it was disastrous, she would refuse. But with months of practicing unsuccessfully on his face, he couldn’t help but feel a bit afraid.

When he looked, his jaw must have dropped, feeling Orenwen push it back to close his mouth. His hair was no longer black, but a dark blonde color, like a Nord’s. Kaidan couldn’t grow much facial hair, but he had a full beard. His tattoo was completely gone from his face, his normal almond-shaped eyes were now rounder, and they were a blue-gray color. She did a great job, and he was unrecognizable, but it was odd seeing a stranger in the looking glass looking back at him. 

“If I don’t look like a Nord, I don’t know who does. This is fantastic, Oren! How long will it hold like this?”

Orenwen shrugged, “Who can say. That is the next test. I know it is not permanent, and we do not want it to be so, but we want it long enough should we need time to escape or go into hiding. Do you like it then?”

“Aye, but it is quite strange to look and see a stranger staring back at me with my voice.”

“I can imagine. Good! Now we will see how long it lasts.”

“Is it finally your turn to be tortured now?”

“Very well,” she said as if it were an everyday occurrence. Orenwen closed her eyes and cast her spell. 

It took a few minutes as Kaidan watched in awe as Orenwen’s beautiful ash blonde hair turned a dark auburn color, her ears became rounder to hide her elven blood, and when she opened her eyes, they were green. Her smooth and flawless skin now was covered in a dusting of freckles.

“Hmm, I think I like you like this much better,” he teased and yelped in pain as she zapped him with some electricity. “Kidding! Seriously, this is fascinating. No one will ever recognize us.”

“I will never let anyone take us again, Kai,” Orenwen promised. “The Thalmor will never hurt you. I love you too much.”

“And I will protect you,” Kaidan also promised. “I love you too.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed Kaidan and Orenwen story and their journey from hating each other to finally loving one another. Thank you all for reading and the wonderful comments. Please let me know what you thought about the end or the story as a whole.
> 
> I hope you come check out my latest story of Gallus/Karliah and eventually Brynjolf/Female OC (daughter of Nocturnal).
> 
> [Daughter of Twilight](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24583165)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for taking the time to read!! <3


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